gah that sucks man.

Marriage or living together is tough. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. But we all need to sacrifice right? Can’t offer anything that u already don’t know or heard, but if u ever get to the point of just wanting to quit, think of life without the person. If it makes u happier or relieved, then I say go. If it doesn’t, I say keep trying. Everyone has different standards of what they are willing to accept and put up with. Gl.


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How ironic is the face of variance, right, where you go -6k for 6 weeks str8 just to make 8.5k in the past 5h I mean, after last year's stint followed by this year's upswing, nothing will ever surprise in terms of the nonsensical outliers in terms of bottom 0.1% of variance, yet...

[QUOTE=RoadtoPro;56611705]gah that sucks man.

Yup, but I am sure we will work this out. If anything, L is as flexible as they come, even if she is quite susceptible upon initial approach and proud and stuff

Thx for chiming in friend, I truly appreciate it Some stuff are worth repeating and pointing out like you just did, especially when someone feels a bit clouded by negative emotions, you know Anyhow, we seem much better today and we will be discussing this issue of ours over the next few days.




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Run good all

Sorry to hear that real life is rearing it's ugly head and disrupting the "new relationship / honeymoon phase" that you were enjoying with L, but I'm not at all surprised to learn that you and she are having issues.

You two are from vastly different cultures, you are (comparatively at least) rich and she's suddenly struggling, plus you are trying to create a life with her--AND her 13 yr old moody kid!--during the middle of a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic. Honestly, it's almost inconceivable to imagine a scenario like this with any two persons who wouldn't be having problems living with one another.

Is L a life-long Porteña? From what little I know Porteños have a reputation as being kind of snobby and very opinionated. So there's that. And of course you are FRENCH-Canadian.

I've read that therapy is a normal part of life in Argentina, and that the country has the highest number of psychologists per capita in the world, with half of them living in Buenos Aires. Maybe you should consider paying for couples therapy??

Regardless, you are used to living foot loose and fancy free, but you've been locked down in a 2 bedroom apartment for the last several months...maybe you just need a break from one another? Might not be the worst idea to take a solo trip to Mendoza or somewhere for week and decompress and get a little alone time, and it could be that L and her son could use a break and a little one-on-one time away from you as well! Absence makes the heart grow fonder??

Interesting listen on the Elliot Roe Mindset Advantage podcast with guest Kristen Bicknell ; I have played several times with Kristen in numerous series, but we never engaged in conversation, yet I have appreciated her person from afar. Anyhow, I was mainly intrigued by her obsession for the game that she manifested, an obsession that most of us pros have initially engaged da pokerz with and that is most likely necessary to reach the top 0.0000033% echelon (top 100 players) and it also got me thinking about my own path... I (easily) include myself in the top 0.03% sphere (and most likely top 0.01%), AKA top 10 000 players, which did require some initial passion/obsession, of course, but not at the detriment of overall life balance or at least of a ton of sacrifices. In fact, I don't think I ever averaged over 40h weekly during my decade of playing professionally... Sure, I had periods of intense grinds (see the first Old Lady threads) where I would grind 55h a week over the span of 4 months, but I still was under the 40h threshold for those years. Anyhow, here is the podcast in question :

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas...st/id973831622

Another noteworthy solid af listen today, Lee Davy on The Grid :

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas...d/id1462629288

Yup, problems were definitely to be expected. At first to learn our limits, cave out some personal space, both of which felt like sacrificing some short term EV - who likes fighting, right - for the long term one. But the arguments over the past few weeks have felt unproductive That being said, our time spent disputing has diminished significantly, we do avoid full blown arguments when we notice steam coming out of one of us etc. Her son might become a problem down the road though, as he is developing some serious video gaming addiction issues, accompanied by social anxiety

Nope, she is from Paraguay, is definitely a very kind and social woman (on the other end of the spectrum of snobish), but yes, is somewhat high maintenance. Not in terms of demanding material goods - she never does that -, but more in terms of cleaniness, her expectations, being impatient when the unexpected spoils our plans etc.

On the cultural difference thingy : I don't really buy into it that much, in the sense that Anglo-Saxon Canadian culture arguably required a bigger adaptation (then the Latino one) when I moved to Western Canada a couple of decades ago... Also, I disagree with the thought that stereotypical cultural differences are more a thing, then say career fields - I would probably have more affinities with someone that studied literature/practices Vipassana/plays poker etc. in these parts, then a Quebecois practicing other distinctive fields... That being said, L and I are quite different in our career choices (she works finances) and personal interests ; where we find common ground, was in pre-pandemic times of going out, really, travelling etc.

Yeah man, a meditation retreat or a trip would definitely be what the doc ordered right now - with or without L -, but alas, such is not the lot in a county still in lockdown 7 months later Soon, I hope, as I feel our relationship works SO MUCH better with more social activities and with having the opportunity of flying to an MTT live series when personal emotions, you know, warrant it

Nonetheless and as a conclusion : the positives far outweigh the negatives, especially in the beginning of our relationship. Also, if shyt ultimately hits the fan, I would be at peace and extremely content of having experienced this unexpected love story at a time where I could of been stuck isolated solo indoors either in these parts, or locked up in Canada




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I understand traveling outside of Argentina is not an option for you at the moment, & likely won't be until at least 2021. My suggestion was that you take a week or two to travel & visit some different places in Argentina by yourself; it would give the three of you a break from one another, give L & her son some alone time, and you some space to relax & decompress.

I don't know what (if any) travel restrictions within Argentina are in place, but if inter-country travel is an option, I hear Mendoza and Salta are nice areas to visit.

Yup, I understood you, and believe me, I would of done so a lonnnnggg time ago if we could, but the restrictions in place in Argentina for the past 7 months, have been much more stricter then anything in place in the Western world They have cut down on controls though, but there are still some in place when leaving/entering the city. We are still as of 15k new cases as of yesterday, so I fathom that not before at least November...

Back Up

Fast update : had solid results on the felt and decent enuff volume (for me) for my first week back on the grind pursuing the RR prizes yo How ironic is it that I go on B/E stretches/downswings when not really seriously on the grind, and then upswong like a mama-fracker on the first week back after a 6 weeks hiatus yo

L and I are doing much better ; we had an absolutely amazing WE, which reminded me of all these facets of why I initially fell deeply for her I did open up as well about the problems irking me with her son and how I find myself on the bad end of this stoopid Oedipean bf interjecting in between the mother-son luv, you know

Anyhow, up ahead : 30h of grinding, 1h of studying, 20h of meditation, 2h of tennis and a whole bunch of biking and shopping this week




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Run good all

Just before I forget, at the 1:14:25 mark, Jeff Gross speaks of his Vipassana course with guest Dan Smith : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy94bQmyJqs

I do not find Jeff Gross to be a great host by any means - too many digressive interruptions and lack of cohesion, me thinks -, but his list of guest is interesting This specific one is pretty interesting as they speak of Burning Man and psychedelics beforehand

Reestablishing Oneself

Did not put in great volume last week (22h) nor to great results (-1.5k) ; but I don't know, even if da pokerz has (slightly) slipped ahead in the list of priorities for the upcoming 3 weeks, I nonetheless don't feel bad at all about slacking ; it feels great to be at the (late) poker stage of my career where I do not have to sweat it at all yo That said, I will be aiming for closer to 30h this week along with 2h of studying.

Things are back to being amazing with L ; through discussion we have found common ground and God is she an amazing lady There was a point last week where she declared that she was outta here, had found a new apartment to move to and I was (almost) obliging, but... things smoothened out, obviously God I love me those intense relationships

That said, her son will remain a problem moving forward, me thinks. And if ever we break up, I don't feel it will be instigated by L and I's relationship (now that we have worked so much stuff), but that I would no longer be willing to live with the little one... Which I have been outspoken about.

When I look back at my folks and everything they we, the kids, put them through, it feels justified - AKA Karma - that I would pass through the same tribulations ; but alas, I fathom things are QUITE different when the adolescent is your own kid as opposed to someone evoking Freud in this effed up Oedipean son/mother/bf of mother scenario, you know

Speaking of which, he will be going to his friend's place over the WE, which will leave us with a mini-Honeymoon yo It is difficult to find interesting stuff to do in these special pandemic times, but we will think of something... Last WE we indulged in the delightful Osaka restaurant, a Nikkei (Peruvian/Japanese fusion) joint




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Run good all

Glad to hear you and the wife (I know but it’s like ur married anyways) are doing well. It’s worth it when it works.

Maybe try to do some activities with the son? My son sounds just like him; 15 year old on his pc a lot and the pandemic has not helped. I try to maintain a good relationship with just talking about his interests whenever we interact; how much money he’s won in fortnite lately, what upgrades he’s trying to get for his pc, etc. Generic advice but it does help me. It’s a never ending work in progress with him.

Always enjoy reading your thread. Gl!


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When I began dating my wife 15 years ago, her three kids were between 10 and 14, so quite a shock-to-the-system for this lifetime bachelor. Hasn't always been easy, but things definitely improve with time, as you get accustomed to differences, learn how to live a new way of life, but mainly things improve as the kids simply mature. It is a long term process for sure, but in my situation was definitely worth the effort.

GgoodluckG

Go to Sudestada for lunch sometime! I was never a big Osaka fan even though obv went there a million times

Yup, I feel that L and I have worked out a ton of stuff and while both of us are stubborn af when it comes to criticism, we are both flexible and open-minded enuff to work on the issues at hand and assume responsibility So yeah, I feel we are at a very strong point right now.

With the son, to say I am having issues, would be a severe understatement My Spanish is much better now, but can still be an obstacle to good communication. And yup, the cultural differences of having him speak out on anything that does not suit his fancy, while I am on the other hand of the spectrum of laid-back and passive Canadian, does not help

We did develop a solid relationship and we were quite close a few weeks back, where he would open up and entrust in me a ton. But then feuds with L made him distant himself, naturally taking the side of his mom... And then, I don't know man, as much as he is a polite and sweet boy, he also has this NASTY af side to him that just might be getting worse with the pandemic... We will see, as I have a ton of patience On the positive side though, L went from being "my boy is the BEST in the world" and being defensive as soon as I had any criticism, to being aware of his growing anxiety and evil side, as she puts it. It is a work in progress, I tell you, and a TON of inner work!!!

BTW, are you still doing your morning meditation friend!?!

Wow, I cannot imagine how that must of been tough And I thought you were a nit GG Definitely not off the table, I guess, when engaging in such ventures!!!

Thx for chiming in friend and offering this point of (successful) reference that seemed more challenging then mine, I appreciate it

Noted. We are seeking out good food, of course, but also nice patios to enjoy. On Osaka : while it was not otherworldly by any means (it pales to MANY restaurants in Lima), it still is >>>>> Fabric Sushi or any other sushi joint I have tried thus far




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Run good all

Things really will change immensely in time. Sure, there were some difficult times in the early goings, but I was ready for a new adventure and prepared to roll with the punches. I'll admit there where even times in the beginning where I'd do the math quietly to myself and figure "hey, in ~10 years the kids will be out of the house and it will just be the two of us". Well now, 2 of the 3 kids are out of the house (one of them married and with a kid herself) and now I'm really missing the mostly positive dynamic they brought to the household. It will be incredibly quiet when the middle one (and the most social of the three) likely moves out next year, and that will be a shock to the system that I'm not looking forward to.

But, I also run extremely good at life, so just one biased results-oriented take on things. Good luck!

GrollingwiththepunchesG

King of a Small World

Yesterday at 11pm, I sat on my balcony, kicked up my feet, sparked up a mini Havana cigar, and puffed away in the silent heat of the night yo Blowing away rings. Like a king, you know Feeling pleasantly infused with that sentiment that I made it. Not made it financially in Jeff Bezos fashion, spiritually like the Buddha King, in da pokerz like Phil Galfond or even binked that elusive 6-7 figure score a la Chidwick, and yet I have made it. My way. My little-chap-of-unconventional-yet-pleasing-and-successful way

The thing about smoking a cigar, is that allure of cheating. The sweeeet trangression. That biting into the Garden of Eden apple's little tentative pleasure, you know That forbidden delight, subversive attraction In fact, we went to an AMAZING restaurant yesterday where we had a glass of wine and a glass of champagne, something that I am permitting myself to do every couple of months after going completely dry for 6 years. At first I thought it was necessary to not play with fire, but I now feel comfortable with the certitude of having left my drinking and smoking vices behind : life is so fracking short, that if one can plunge in little diversions here and there, Bombaclat yo

L's son is going to his buddy's house for 5 days, hence granting L and I with the privilege of going out every night to try out new restaurants (now that we can benefit from sitting indoors) ; seeing stuff open up slowly is unleashing this (lost) dream where I will be able to travel again and engage in my ideal life of being sedentary while going to live MTT events, on WE getaway trips, going out to restaurants, music shows etc.

Once again, thx for reaching out friend ; I feel that your situation resembles mine much more then if one would have issues with kids of his own, for example. For me, the choice of not having kids was always about pursing my personal ventures, dreams of writing a few books, continuing doing meditation retreats, binking a big live MTT, doing some volunteer work and whatnot, but as I got older and started dating women with children, I opened up this year (with X) about the possibility of raising a child that is not mine. On the positive side, L's son and I have been better lately, as has my Spanish that was previously another obstacle in the already complex equation



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Run good all

Ha, the language / custom angle is one I didn't have to deal with, so that certainly makes things more difficult.

I *suck* at languages. I know just barely the bare bones to get myself by at an all-inclusive resort. So last year my wife and I are visiting Montreal and staying with her relatives, who are Greek but are trilingual so I'm being lost in a lot of conversations featuring Greek and French. We spend a day in Mont Tremblant, and I go into a little shop a little brain fried, but try my best and order "dos aguas por favor".

GcluelesslanguagesnoobG

Storms

Volume has been decent this week (by my low standards ) where I should cross the 30h threshold for the first time in 22 weeks Wow, checking my stats just now surprised me greatly, tbh, as I thought that I had gone beyond that mark at least once since living with L, but nope. Anyhow, along with my increased time spent at the tables, so has increased my variance. I mean, it has reached an almost nonsensical/statistical anomaly point I even got a PM recently (by another midstakes reg) questioning me on such HUGE swings I am not sure... I start a ton of tables, so my shorthanded play is definitely a factor... I play 8 tables, most of them @ 400 (thus equating to 600CAD$). And got 1-2 PLO tables as well, hence contributing somewhat... But I don't know, even with all the latter, my swongs remain quite otherworldly To the extent where a 2 month B/E stretch no longer feels like plunging into the abyss (we need at least 5-7 months to qualify nowadays )... Or that having a +50k month is no longer a surprise... Anyhow, this time around, I went on a 6k upswing early on in the week only to be hit by a -9k downswong in the past couple of days Ohh lala lala lala, what an interesting game we play

Haha, nice one What was the reaction of the cashier!?!

For someone as multilingual/coming from a literature as myself, I also suck at languages. Especially when I meet someone (usually very extroverted) that has a knack for picking up SOOO NATURALLY linguistic nuances. I also feel that not having spoken English in almost a year, has affected my syntax. And natural flow while writing

L has started English courses on Zoom (private tutoring of 2h weekly). The plan is to go together in Quebec in August. She does have a weak foundation in English, but indulges in the standard coming from a Latino background mistakes of pronouncing every letter (especially the silent "e" at the end of the word). Anyhow, it will be interesting to see how she fares out in Quebec, in a land where sure 46% of the peeps speak both French and English, but most folks will nonetheless initially address you in the former. Also, this means that my family will have to step out of their comfort zone of always speaking to each other in French, to awkwardly addressing each other in English for the first time ever - even if we all speak English, we just switch to the latter with strangers or when obligated in doing so. In fact, outside of my dad and myself, none of us use any English phrases while mutally interacting, so it should be an unnatural and perhaps comical exercise for all of us




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Run good all

Yeah, he probably wasn't sure if I was just being an ******* or what. It had been a long day and I literally couldn't remember the French translation (I mighta stammered "uh duex eaux merci") but he seemed to know what I was talking about.

GunintenionallyinsultingmyhostsG

Slow Grind

Nice start to the week pokerwise and am also feeling quite positive about the upcoming summer For starters, our rooftop pool will be back in action next week and with our lowest daily cases in ages (under 7k yesterday) and restrictions being gradually lifted, I might have more of a social life soon yo

There is just 2 weeks left to my RB promotions, so I will be back on the writing grind pretty soon ; that said, the games usually pick up a ton during the Holidays, so will make sure to always virtually check in.

We will be renting a place by the coast for Xmas (just 4 days), which will feel like a fracking liberation after 9 months stuck in the metropole, ffs Another thing that felt liberating af, was not having L's son in the house ; he has so far grunted a few words when I asked him to clean up his dishes, sigh

Haha, yeah, but I fathom the majority of Francophones knows what dos agua por favor means




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Run good all

Sorry just noticed that u had asked if I been still mediating. It kind of got away from me for a few weeks...feel a bit bad about it. But I’m gonna start again...this is normal right? In your journey you got sidetracked from it?

Anyways good luck with the abroad life - it snowed here in Toronto yesterday, so you are lucky to be out of Canada during the cold season. And hope u enjoying the alone time with the misses!


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Da Swinnngggssss

Poker has taught me to be rational. In life. On the felt. Equity is equity and you just roll with the (negative EV) punches and the blissful highs. Right!?! Of course. Much like this 3 months B/E stretch that has not affected me emotionally at all and will just be a flat line on the graph before rising, you know But as far as politics, nope, I was f**king invested yesterday, almost as much as when the Raptors won it all - albeit the American elections have greater real life consequences

At first, the 90% predicted by fivethirtyeight.com felt like a breeze... Cozy af An easy grind, right, where we would just have to show up at 7pm EST and watch Florida turn blue ; easy game yo But nope. Not even f**king close After an early surge provided by the mail-in ballots, the Dems fell flat, Trump picked up steam and things fell down the drain state, after state, after... WTF Of course, all of us in the know that were informed, never believed Biden to dip below the coin flip 45-50% threshold, yet this felt like the worst fracking coin flip of recent history, right, with this nasty knot in the tummy inflicted by the negative momentum of the same-day ballots rolling in

And then Arizona flipped and suddenly, being a 70% favourite felt like the best thing ever, muck like one feels delighted to just B/E after being down 10 BIs+ in his session Man that was a fracking amazing emotional ride I could not believe the betting markets though and how out of touch they seemed by trying to adjust to the incoming Trump bets...

-41c in the Yukon right now And yup, stretches of meditating less/giving up for a short while are natural ; they no longer happen to me (and am in fact back to 2-3h a day), but are definitely part of the journey

I will through this out there, but if ever you get the temptation to do a 10 day course outside of TO friend, here is the info : https://torana.dhamma.org




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Glol,couldn'thelpmyselfG

I checked out the site and actually watched some of the videos. Nowhere near that stage but thanks a lot for the info. Maybe one day. I would like to achieve a state where I don’t get upset at little things and remain calm. I feel like meditation can help me towards that, just need to keep working on it.

Go Biden! Never have I been so emotionally invested in American politics lol.


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Freedom of Movement

After 2 hundred and f**king 30 days, we are officially out of La Cuarentena Yup. Indeed. It was suddenly lifted this past Friday, bomba-f**king-clat Yesterday saw us with our lowest daily new cases in about 2 months (5k), most of which are outside of B.A. But here's the thing, I jumped on the opportunity to book in rural Tigre only... to find out that this region (only 25kms north of B.A.), is still in lockdown, alas Nonetheless, we will be looking to go on the coast in two WE's just to gtfo of Dodge, you know

edit :

Within our own little nest, things have been good. In fact, really good. More frequent are those harmonious blissful moments where all 4 of us (including the puppy ) simply connect and just chill together, you know Moreover, L and I are as solid as ever, having worked out SO MANY issues over the past few months yo

Poker has been very meh, as this downswing/B-E stretch now approaches the 3 month mark, close enuff anyhow to call it another journey into the abyss - at least in terms of variance, as I haven't felt a dent emotionally tbh I am quite content indeed with my year that will see us cross the 6 digit mark (when adding USA elections, BTC purchases and investments to my poker results) off a meagre 23h weekly of da pokerz grind I snap-call yo

WPT Montreal will be played out on Party ; I mean, I am not sure how much of an incentive I have on playing, outside of trying to rep my home town and I will presumably know a lot of the players... The ME is a 3.2k and there should also be some interesting side events like PLO ; I think I will let Hendon Mob decide for me since I am on the fence and if they decide to include the scores, I will play just for the added fun factor/ego-incentive (they did include the WSOP after saying that they would not ).


Definitely. Meditation works as incremental progress towards eliminating your defilements, or at least keeping them in check initially

Man, what a ride this has been This said, part of me feels let down that the Nate Silver's of the world once again got it (partly) wrong I mean, I believe so much in analytics. Like A LOT. Poker has instilled my life with a very rational approach, where the fact of crunching down the numbers and seeing LUCK for what it is - and in fact, its omniscience - has kept me detached from life run bad. Like eliminating (egotistical) biases. Seeing through fallacies. In bball. Sports. Politics. Anything, really. For me, the liberal - and more precisely Democratic-socialist - fellow that rationally approaches the world and everyday life through the prism of analytics, has been the shyt for the past few years, right, those GTO mama-frackers on and off the tables But, alas, being off by 8-9% in several states was just a fracking a blow, a big disillusion that perhaps analytics is not THIS ALL TRANSCENDING GOD that I have made it out to be

In a completely different tangent, I watched 8h of Ben Shapiro on the Joe Rogan podcast and I must say, while I disagree with a lot - if not most - of his political POV's (and find him full of religious buyest stances), the dude is articulate, well-spoken, intelligent and knows how to adequately debate and criticize both sides. Sure Alex Jones is entertaining af in a clownish-not-taken-seriously sorta way, but if you want to dip as an outsider into conservative politics, Ben Shapiro was quite refreshing




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Run good all