Le Cafard

J'ai le cafard. Cafard literally means cockroach in French, but j'ai le cafard refers to a dark depressive state, much like in the movie Naked Lunch where the junkie protagonist shoots up with insecticide and starts fracking hallucinating an insectoid/humanoid world where the giant size bugs start conversing with him Yup, j'ai le cafard.

Well, not exactly me precisely : even if I have been down-cycling for the past week - low energy, lack of motivation etc. -, I feel as if pieces are starting to crumble around me... Not necessarily my Aunt that past away this week and my uncle that followed suit the very next day, but moreso here, in Argentina. Shyt is about to hit the fan The inflation has been devastating, multiple companies are leaving the country and folks are just not going to keep on keeping on after f**king 6 months of Cuarentena, AKA the longest in the world along with Peru Enuff anyhow that I wanted to complete lose my shyt this afternoon when the fracking woman started blaming my puppy after my dog got into a fight with hers

L and I tried to meet up with friends last WE, but it felt just short of disastrous, tbh. Everything felt contrived. Us speaking of the pandemic in the past, desperately trying to convince ourselves of the return of normality. Sitting outside on a patio in the cold evening (can't sit indoors) while innerly thinking "I am distant enuff!?! Is my face mask placed on right!?!" We are still miles away from anything resembling a social life of yesteryear

On a more positive front, am pretty happy with finally managing to advance my novel this week Half of the month has already expired, but I have purchased a book on Dawson's history which should help me in the process yo

Yeah, definitely was saddening af to see the Raps go down That said, now my concerns have shifted towards keeping Masai as losing him would be the end of an era. And most likely the end of the Giannis in TO dream




+2.2k in 8h


Run good all

Hey Dub,

Sorry to hear that you've been hitting a rough patch lately. I'm not sure what to say but I know how you feel. I've been going through something similar these past few months and I just want to say I admire your bravery. It takes a strong person to present their authentic self to the world and talk about it.

Life is a roller coaster, we must accept the ups with the downs (which I'm sure you already know much better than me ;] ), and I'm sure you will be on the life upswing again very soon

Also yes, you must retain masai. He's an amazing GM. Arguably the best GM in the NBA right now imo. I would put him up their with Danny Ainge, Pat Riley, etc. He's in the top handful , that would be a huge loss.

But yeah I didn't want to comment on your thread about the series but I thought celtics would win. It's just a bad match up for Raps. Boston wing defense is elite and raptors have no one that can create consistent offense in iso's vs Boston's defense. Smart, brown, and Tatum are a devastating defensive wing lineup. And celtics had two guys who could create good looks for themselves or others in tatum and kemba walker.

Condolences sir. I hope they left peacefully.


Re: poker -- From the time you began playing with seriousness and with purpose, what's the longest extended break you've taken from the game?

Have you found yourself playing without La Pasión at any time during the bulk of your professional career? If so, did you do anything to steer yourself back on track, or did you wait for the natural progression of things?

I'm asking because I've found that I haven't had a desire to play for quite some time, mostly due to other interests taking the majority of my attention currently. I feel the twinge of nostalgia every time I think about poker these days, but not the spark of passion that I had felt for the last 15+ years.

Do you feel that passion is important in your working life? I think I already know your answer, but I'm interested to hear what you have to say.

Sorry to read you're going through a rough one, I'm sure your meditation (or what you achieved through it) will help you deal with it.

With regards to Argentina's situation, as an uruguayan myself I have always followed their situation closely (impossible not to) and it always look like shait is about to hit the fan... but it doesn't lol. It kinda did in 2001 but is surprising the tolerance to corruption and evil argentinians have, they're deep in a vicious cycle of corruption, lies, promises, some hope aaaaand back to the beginning.

Is a shame because is such a beautiful country full of great people, but they always find a way to sabotage themselves.

Not sure what is the fix for their problems nor if there is one (there has to be, right? Right?) but I wish they find it someday and become a world power as they should be with all the potential they have.

Add me to the list of people going through a rough patch of life lately; I'm sorry to hear that others have been dealing with the same. The wheel of samsara spins indeed.

Seems like a great decision to check out the Dawson book for the sake of enriching your perspective on your time there. Glad you've been making progress with writing, perhaps it will be a bit cathartic.

I find it interesting re: your aunt and uncle dying the same week. My grandparents also passed away within a very short amount of time within each other, and I know of many examples of the same and think it's something that can't just be chalked up to visibility bias. I tend to think that our bodies are much more under our control than common perception, and in instances like these I think the body really can respond to the heart losing the will to live.

My grandparents also died within a few days of each other completely unrelated deaths. Weird..

Same re: the unrelated aspect, Quad. He had cancer and was in his nineties (he was also still sharp as a tack and in amazing shape for his age), but I'm pretty sure my grandfather could have lived much longer than he did; I think he was ready to die after my grandma passed and his body cooperated.

EDIT: Just found this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Widowhood_effect

Sorry about your aunt and uncle. I hope things get better for your mindstate. All about outlook and appreciation for the moment right? Wish I had something more helpful to say.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

6 Months Later

When I first started blogging daily about my inner-moods at the start of La Cuarentena back in late March ITT, never I would of fathomed that not only would we still be locked down 6 months later, but at the worse of our peak of daily cases It has been long, too fracking lonnngggg... If only my fatigue was just limited to my little person then it would be easy to just put my head down, meditate a few more hours weekly, focus on the grind, on writing, on studying and, you know, move on slowly with an introverted life, but having collectively to deal with both L's and her son's (who has been isolated indoors for all this time and has, alas, developed quite the gaming addiction/anxiety issues), just adds various uncontrollable factors, you know Anyhow, thankfully those moments of bliss where everything is peaceful and makes sense, remain as frequent as they have yo

I wonder if Boston still wins if it is played outside the bubble and TO holds game 7... Then again, Hayward was injured, so variance shall be variance, I guess... And thx friend

I am barely getting in 12-15h weekly and considering that I have been running like complete arse, it suits me just fine yo Games have been meh and I am not that optimistic about the health of the ecosystem moving forward, but whatever, I have had a solid year and can happily take a full year off if need be, until the live MTT resumes yo

Longest break was definitely because of meditation retreats, so in the 2 months region. This said, I have always taken scheduled breaks from poker for said retreats and travelling, and usually only a few days when burning out. And yup, without passion, I start completely feeling disinterested and sucking at the thing at hand, tbh Nonetheless, I always kept the big picture in mind in regards to poker and would not want for the life of me to work in a kitchen again

Yeah, quite the dire situation over here... L and I have projected into the future and would like to settle either in rural Argentina or in Uruguay along the coast Are you in Uruguay right now?

Yup, I really think that having that ebook (virtually) open coupled with the Yukon government site that offers a ton of interesting stats, has been really helpful in pushing the narrative of the book along yo Also, I have seem to settled on a style that will ultimately make the whole project concise and approachable

I can't really say that I was emotionally affected by the passing of my Aunt (uncle still in hospital at this point...), as I have not seen either in over 2 decades!!! My dad is the youngest of a family of 18 siblings (7 pasted away at birth) and am the youngest of 3 siblings, so outside of a handful of family members, we were not really close in age (the 2 closest cousins still had 3 and 7 years difference in age with me) nor emotionally. And then I spent all of my adult life on the road. I guess I just threw in her passinig as part of a doom and gloom narrative and as a reflection on the vulnerability of life... Tbh, the gist of this lethargy has been moreso mental fatigue and a collective angst in our household, part of it being L feeling concerned about the outlook of her professional career amidst Argentina's economical crisis

Thx for the kind thoughts folks




-1.9k in 3h


Run good all

Nop, in Thailand atm but happy to help you with any question you might have, just shoot me a PM, glgl

A Slow Day's Work

As far as the perception of playing poker for a living as perceived by my peers, it has mostly been seen as something cool. For starters, I found myself on the road for the majority of my adult life and with this travel nomad wave of peeps squeezing out the bare minimum to prolong this lifestyle, to do so with as much autonomy while printing da monies, is obviously gangsta af yo Of course, a lot of people choose to also hide their disdain or judgment of others (especially in Canada), but it was nevertheless when I found myself in more sedentary (and conservative) settings that I got certain criticism. Much like it happened in Czechia at my buddy's wedding when his friends took liberty in labeling da pokerz as something that is a net negative for society. Or here in Latin America where a lot of locals view it as something a little juvenile, or at least as not a serious career. Still, I have for the most part find myself on the other side of the spectrum where my peers would be "really!?!, that is so cool man!!!", much like it happens with expats in these parts

Part of this reflection has to do with my lack of productivity lately - well, at least compared to usual. I find myself doing a whole lot of lying around, sleeping, browsing online or refreshing certain sites too often. I have nevertheless put in more meditation (about 16-21h a week), writing (about 6-10h) and 10-18h of poker which still adds up to over 40h weekly, but it still feels like I have been slacking, especially when factoring in the non-conventional aspect of my labour.

I just got a message from an Argentin buddy who just came out of a meditation retreat in Germany (where he lives) ; it has stimulated the desire to do one myself, if only to get make a deep operation to get rid of this pandemic-induced shyt, you know

Great man, wasn't sure if you were still kicking around in SEA or back here, but will definitely message you when and if we start looking into moving to Uruguay




-3.4k in 7h


Run good all

Vicious Cycles

I had quite a few issues with my dad over the years. To say the least Over certain of his POV's, politics, Catholic beliefs but mainly this propensity of his to f**king lose his cool in certain situations and completely let his rage take over And I mean, this lame arse cliche fracking saying that you are like you Dad and it is only until later on in life that you will come to realize it and bla bla fracking bla felt like a bunch of BS, you know, until... Ehhhh Yup. I know. I have been reacting the same way as him at times when L's son teenager rebellious side erupts, FML Oh la la la, la la la, life is a venomous snake biting its own tail, isn't it

L and I have been looking to travel to Montreal in July ; most likely we would organize a trip with my family and go visit certain parts of Quebec yo I would probably extend that trip to 2-3 months myself and go visit the Yukon (solo) and grind a few live MTT series (assuming we have a vaccin/all is back to semi-normal).

My book has been coming along ok. The volume is low, but I am simply content with having initiated my storyline and establishing an overall perspective on how I want to proceed yo I still have 3 weeks left of this light 15h a week of poker schedule, so I should be able to add a few pages. Which is alright for now. In December, when I will anew reinvest myself with writing over da pokerz, I do want to instil more discipline in the latter part




+500$ in 3h


Run good all

Nice pictures man. Hope you’re doing well.

Lakers-Heat... are you looking forward to that?

Thoughts on the matchup?

Happy to see LA, best city in the world of course , being represented.

I would not be surprised in the least if the Heat win a close series. They have the better coach, better role players.

That being said, Lakers in 5.

Setting Up Shop

Well I have established myself more in 9 months in B.A. then I ever did in 4 years in SEA I guess that part of it is that Da Philippines and Vietnam never felt like a long term home, as you never quite feel at home in SEA... I had started to put in a (lame arse) effort into learning Tagalog when I first arrived in Manila, but rapidly gave up on the idea when I moved to Visayan speaking islands and then felt intimidated by the different sounding Vietnamese/never fathom establishing serious roots in Vietnam neither.

Over here things have moved along rapidly : I am fairly comfortable in Spanish, bought 2 tennis rackets and am looking for a weekly partner, have developed a few friendships moving forward - but alas, La Cuarentena had plans of its own , I bought a decent bicycle , we have quite a few travel plans to visit the country when things open up, I have found numerous options/contacts to buy pesos at the Blue Market rate and I have access to the a nearby Vipassana community/centre when things open up again ; looking good yo, looking good Buying a house might be in the cards as well (in the countryside) as would be buying a car or a motorcycle.

Man, it is pretty tough to have a sound perspective on the bubble matchups, isn't it!!! My fluctuating sports betting results have been quite indicative of the latter, going from +2k prior to the bubble to a now dubious -3.5k (made 5k last year) This said, while I do predict Lakers in 6, the line favours placing wagers on Miami (as it favours too heavily LA while offering Miami great odds) and I can imagine many quantum realities in which the Heat pull through yo As far as personal rooting interests, I don't really have any, as seeing Lebron compensated at such an older age while not have astounding role players would be cool (although I disliked how he pulled the AD coup and almost managed to pull Kahwi in )... But then Butler deserves also credit for finally becoming a team player and his full-on dedication...

Really!?! I need a little more enlightenment on LA being the best city in the world - if you were not joking -, as I have a completely different perspective on it. Well, first of all, I have only passed through LA a few times and when it was not in the PACKED AF airport, it was in the Greyhound terminal which had a ton of homeless and gangsta looking suspicious peeps (I was literally offered a back of weed upon 2m of stepping outside the bus, no kidding!!!). Secondly, the perspective from poker players playing in LA seems like pure misery with the mistreatment of the dealers, the berating of players, the pros being completely disillusioned (see DGAF's old thread).

Yeah, no kidding. The Heat have the perfect formula of having a few young players on cheap rookie contracts playing like all-stars, and the veteran all-star in Butler. Imagine if they had a 2nd max contract to go with the latter




-600$ in 4h


Run good all

Haha yeah lots of unpredictability these playoffs, as expected. I agree with you and shynepo that the Heat should be able to make things interesting/exciting and maybe take it down. I've only watched bits and pieces so far (poker all day yo), but looking forward to watching more these next few weeks.

I was kidding . I agree with your take and don't like LA myself. Generalizing...but: high COL, crazy traffic, shallow people, lack of greenery, high freq bad neighborhoods, etc. Southern California as a whole is ossum though imo.

It would've been a little pricey ($300-500~), but I definitely would've went to one of the Lakers finals home games if it wasn't in a bubble. #Firstworldproblems..

I never caught DGAF's thread actually (except the OP) and it looks like it got taken down...

run better and stay positive man. And keep updating!

Strange Times in B.A.

So what gives... From an initial strict af Cuarentena measures instigated from a Liberal/Peronian government that I innitially approved of (while nonetheless criticizing its drastic/martial law approach), to now realizing that COVID turned out to be more benign in hindsight to what was originally feared/forecast, to now having to admit that the right-wing politics were (mostly) correct about letting the whole shyt show run rampant... I also believed that maybe - just maybe... -, we might of collectively looked inside and found ways to save our planet in the process as consumerism took a drop... Instead the richer became gazillionaires, the poor fracking more devastated and the planet... well... nobody gives a flying fracket as single-usage items have become popular again in pandemic times... Sigh and fracking sigh

But life goes on, you know, much like yours truly that is playing tennis again, biking a lot and looking to pay more attention to my body now that I am a sedentary lad Writing has not been moving along tremendously fast ; but whatever, ample will be the time at my disposal to focus on my book in 2021, especially now that I know how to stylistically approach my project yo

Cinema is tremendously important to me. But L and I happen to alas differ immensely in taste. Thankfully though, even she dislikes TOO intellectually inclined films, she does appreciate foreign cinema, slow movies and character driven stories yo And since I basically get to pick 100% of our movies/tv shows and that she subsequently gets a veto vote, I can still navigate through a decent enuff portfolio... phew

Again, this is my last week before being back on the grind yo

It was a top 5-10 thread on 2 + 2, me thinks, especially a few years back when being good for the live game was not as much universally agreed upon.

RtP, because you are fairly new to this forum, let me (humbly) recommend two must read threads that have now been defunct for a few years, Matt Moore's (DGAF's close friend) ascendance in the Vegas world : https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...ght=mooremoney

and Scansion's epic and literary poker journey (and the sequel) : https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...95/?highlight=

As far as DGAF's the Abyss single post, it is one of 2 + 2's best and will post it by itself afterwards in ital

Thx friend As far as running bad/being on a few K downswing : I really feel that this just a lull before next week's grind After the lacklustre start to the year, I feel that I am presently on a 6 month 85k upswing and not on a 5 weeks 5k downswing




+100$ in 2h


Run good all

Originally Posted by DGAF
The Abyss

I was in Vegas this year ****ing off during the WSOP. I was at a poker table one morning when someone I respect probably more than anyone else in the (poker/gambling) world sits down. I respect him because he has been around/in action/surviving forever→ sounds easy I’m sure to anyone who has been crushing over their first few years of live play (there are plenty of people on extended heaters all around the world), but it’s not, at all, for a myriad of reasons (just look at how few 10 year+ vets there are)… I also respect this guy because he is completely loaded with humility and sincerity- he will talk straight/share stories and information with anyone who is not a POS, and if you watch closely you will see him help/take care of all sorts of very down on their luck/haggard looking characters (I can only imagine how many of these dudes were crushers/ballers at one point) who pass by him in the poker room, randomly or not…

ANYWAYS, this dude has pretty much “seen it all.” At least as much as anyone else I ever play with (I’ve played with older players—this guy is mid-fifties-- who have prob played more hours of poker total, but I’m talking about playing in the biggest games, for a living, etc). And in addition to poker, this guy is a very sharp sports bettor/gambler. So he understands edge available, variance, etc, extremely well (especially for an lol live pro )…

ANYWAYS, ANYWAYS, this guy takes a 1-outer beat for stacks to some foreign kid pretty quickly after he sits down. Now he has never been one to complain at the table obv (anyone who has been around at all knows to not do this), and the permanent dark bags under his eyes tell you this is far from the first time he’s gotten super unlucky/faced adversity in his life (to further illustrate how old school this dude is, when I started playing with him he straight up told me I reminded him of Stu Ungar, because I was a fish 9 handed , but the last person he liked playing against short-handed )… But he actually has a legit befuddled/just seen a ghost look on his face after his ~ 3k stack is pulled in by the dealer and pushed to the foreign kid. Which is my que to say quietly from across the table, “Gross.”

Surprisingly (shockingly, actually) he breaks code and opens up to me in front of everyone. “(DGAF),” he says in gentle disgust (he knows I’ve got some miles on me too now lol), “that’s the third 1-outer this week!” And after I make the actual “eek” face, he concludes while shaking his head, “These past 2 months are the worst I’ve EVER run… Seriously… Just incredible…”

---

So what?! Why am I making this super long as it is thread, even longer? Just to talk about some old schooler who ran bad this summer???

No. I’m writing this post for me (and for some of you). This old schooler wasn’t just “running bad.” He knows how to handle “running bad.” He was running sooooo bad that he was actually in the variance abyss, where NO ONE can see straight/act right/play their A game.

After 30-40 years of beats, swings, anomalies, etc, one hand/one stroke of bad luck certainly wasn’t going to phase the Vegas old schooler. And it didn’t. It was the anomalous streak of bad luck strokes (I only witnessed the most recent one) that got him. But still, that this super seasoned vet, who understands math/probabilities/variance/etc very well (and he’s tough as nails btw), was completely owned/destroyed by his recent unlucky streak- I found that to be pretty ****ing amazing/telling. And his face/reaction/befuddlement that morning has been in the back of my mind ever since…


I’ve been to the variance abyss a couple times in my own career (2 insanely horrific against all odds stretches over ~ 7 years of high volume live play/gambling where I myself- pretty ****ing logical, well versed, battle tested, etc- was seeing ghosts and in turn, acting/playing a fool.).

I’m actually just coming out of my second stint in the abyss now (I ran good and won heaps over my last 2 sessions, which doesn’t mean I’m safely out for sure or I can’t go right back in lol, but I def feel different than I have the past few months, and I look forward to returning to form as a poker player/person soon- I hope). And it temporarily changes you, no matter who you are/how long you’ve been around/how much you’ve thought about all this stuff…

The abyss makes you self-destructive. It makes you depressed. It drains your energy. It makes you make bad calls, bad folds, bad bluffs, bad value bets, etc. It makes you readable at the table. It makes everyone else less readable. The fish suddenly play OK against you. The scared grinders suddenly play well against you. And the world class players suddenly own your troubled soul. YOU are the blood in the water- even if you’ve always been the alpha shark.

The variance abyss also makes you do dumb ****/things you never would. For respectable gamblers like the Vegas old schooler, it makes you actually talk about your bad luck at the table, even though you know it’s bad for the game and no one cares/wants to hear about it. For other less respectable gamblers, it often does much worse. There are countless examples obv (just go search NVG or HSNL) of the abyss quickly turning OK people/harmless poker enthusiasts into scammers, deadbeats, crazy people→ no one running good/OK ever owes a bunch of people money or is out scamming/committing crimes or sleeping on the streets or whatever.


So what does the abyss look like? It’s more than just some longshot beats obv. It’s ALWAYS finding the top of a range when the money goes in. It’s finding the very bottom of a range when the money doesn’t go in. It’s constantly turning 2 pair or trips when you are against a set. It’s ALWAYS BEING AGAINST A SET. It’s flopping a set yourself (finally) but knowing you aren’t going to win (and you don’t). It’s the game breaking at your lowpoint every session. It’s the 100 vpip fish taking a phone call as you get your first good hand. It’s being in position with dominating hands against a whale all night and never winning. It’s having a rep/image such that no one folds anything to you and yet you don’t turn over a winning hand for like 3 sessions straight. It’s doing all the things you've always done to cultivate a good game (investing lots of time, money and energy) and then having some other good player randomly show up and start binking all over the place until all the free money is gone. It’s getting all your playable hands in the sb. It’s having someone spill their drink on your lap. It’s getting gum on your pants from under the table- on both legs. It’s knocking your sirachi sauce off your food tray and having it hit the floor in such a magical way that it shoots up into the air and all over the well dressed high stakes limit pro behind you . It’s someone forgetting to straddle when you get aces. It’s firing a second barrel as your opponent picks up a flush draw, firing a third when they get there, checking back worse when they don’t. It’s having a nit bluff you…

In the abyss you don’t lose 5 flips in a row. You lose 5 flips in a row, then 5 more , then 5 more, then 5 more, and so on… You get sick of flipping but the whale demands you do it/he pays you juice. He’s a little bit shady and you don’t know if he already looked at his cards so you agree, but only if you can switch cards. He agrees and you give him your Aces… You don’t fire the 5 sharp nfl plays you get (because you are being responsible) and you watch them go 5-0 easy. The next week you say, “**** it, gamble!” and you fire the 5 new sharp plays given to you. You go 0-5 (partially because Eli Manning is a worthless human being), and you suddenly realize that you’ve had 0 winning sports betting weeks in the last 6 months. Now needing to earn in poker, you lose a bunch, 4 sessions in a row- in insanely soft short-handed big games, that YOU built. You win 200 bucks the next session (hey, you’ll take it), but get completely whacked right when you sit down the following session. And so on…

---

So who has been to the abyss? All but the newest players have seen glimpses of it imo. I got overset twice in an hour and 4 times in a session playing big a few years ago. That’s a glimpse. I played a 3000 bb pot with A9 vs AA on 9954 and did not win a few years before that. That’s a glimpse. I got it all in on the flop the other day (single raised multiway pot, I called on the button pre) with 8h6h vs 9c8d on 9s7h5s and I got felted. If I hadn’t already been in the abyss, that would have merely been a glimpse as well.

The abyss is basically relentless bad luck/no relief. You have to think, “OK, and it can’t get any worse than this” at least 20 times in a row spread out over time before it’s even possible you are in it. You have to FEEL like you CAN’T WIN (even if lots of data/results/logic suggests the opposite). You have to literally want to cry or break something for several hours straight (depending on how you deal with ****) for there to even be a chance you are in it. You have to a least ponder for a second when getting dressed which shirt might be luckiest/break the slump (even if you aren’t a superstitious idiot). You have to at least consider seat changing or asking for a new setup for real (even though you hate that **** and know it’s super ******ed and would never actually do it). You have to at least get mad at/airball the dealers a little for your bad hands. It has to look like there are 15 people at the table when the game is full. You have to start thinking a little, “This guy is playing kinda good” when you know deep down said guy is super terrible. You have to honestly think (and maybe even tell a friend), “No one has EVER run this bad before…“ Otherwise, no shot you have been there imo.

As mentioned, I’ve been to the abyss twice in my (pretty long) career (fingers crossed, 7 hail marys, etc, my last 2 sessions just brought me out). The Vegas old schooler has probably been there more than that (though he plays a WAY lower variance brand of poker/gambling, so maybe not). Guys like Doyle Brunson, Barry Greenstein, Mike Matusow, Ted Forrest, etc, I’m sure they’ve all been there plenty (you can see it on their faces). But have guys like Antonio Esfandiari? Idk, he’s prob played a lot of poker, but as a commentator he’s said some things that honestly make me think he hasn’t/he doesn’t even remotely grasp variance as it applies to live poker.


What % of the people playing in the biggest game in your casino have been there? Like really been there? I’d say maybe 20%. What % of the hotshots/LAGs (people still playing LAG that is) have been there? Pretty much zero.

The reason for these low figures? For sane, healthy people, one extended trip to the abyss is enough imo. They aren’t going back. Whether that means playing way tighter/more conservative, much smaller (where the abyss doesn’t really hurt), or quitting poker/gambling all together, that’s what the human survival instinct has most sane people do imo. The pain and the financial loss is just too much…

As mentioned, some warriors do just stick it out and get perma bags under their eyes and occasionally act like rookies at the table. And some stay around but it’s not long until they resort to illegal/dirty activity until they are completely broke, locked up, banned, or worse.

And then others try to document/sort through their super fishy thoughts (which only show up while in the abyss every few years) with super long, rambling essays posted anonymously on the internet, all in an effort to be more objective, stronger, and more sane (and maybe help a few others do the same) in general, and ESPECIALLY the next time they find themselves in the The Abyss.


Spoiler:
A standard brutal downswing for an online player is ~ a career for a live player (in terms of # of hands). Obv live games are way softer/lower variance per hand, but still, something kinda spooky to think about imo if you are fortunate enough to have never really been in the live abyss/are skeptical it exists ...


K, now run good now/don't trip on this post too much lol, just let it be something you have in your back pocket to better cope/come out faster should you ever find yourself out shopping for lucky shirts, telling your friends you have “the worst luck ever”, or grinding HARD in bankroll rebuilding mode- again, after being super pumped up- again just a few months ago.

GL

Any reason why DGAF's thread got taken down? Was probably the best thread of all time on 2+2 for anyone looking to do better at live poker and just learn how to treat people with respect.

The Abyss post I've read so many times but after a while I just stopped reading it because I didn't want to bring that into my world in any way just in case reading it would induce it to happen even .0001% more often. Too painful to be there.

DGAF asked the mod to kill it.

I live in a small village and i have seen this happening in 4-5 cases at least.
Sometimes it was withing months other time it was the same week.
It has to do with psychology i guess.

Family Ties

My perspective on Argentinos has resembled the form of an arc thus far : going from they're hit or miss when I was in Palermo, to now "they're fine" since I have moved to a middle-class non-touristic part of the city. Disclaimer

Another part of my life that happens to be hit or miss, is how my little puppy behaves : will she be wild and want to pick a fight with every God damn dog in B.A. as well as chase/bark at every moving vehicle that she views as monstrous entity, or will she simply be that jolly and playful little ball of fur, you know Considering that we have been letting her off her leash for the past few weeks on the quiet 6-7 streets separating us from the park, the variance of her behaving wildly has skyrocketed, Jesus fracking Murphy

So anyhow, a couple long stories made short : I had a tattooed 30 something lad scorn me before having an elder fellow tell me how riding my back with dog is terrible for her heart I mean... WTF But that it was precisely how certain Argentinos act and which completely leaves me bewildered - I am speaking of the latter situation of the old man in this case -, as us Canadians find ourselves on the other side spectrum with a live and let live attitude insofar as preserving the general harmony. We will not randomly tell a stranger to "wait for her" as you let your dog run loose in the park. We will not call on a walkerby's decision not to impose a face mask on his dog ffs - am not kidding : this happened to L at the beginning of La Cuarentena. In fact, there were quite a few times that I would let a few racist comments fly by at the poker when a whale would spew shyt away... Anything to preserve the peace and general politeness, you know. But over here, folks speak their mind.

And as far as the first scenario went, I still find myself naturally not as spontaneous to answer back in times of dispute in Spanish, but I nonetheless did lose it a little bit on the lad, a reaction of anger that has alas been standard for me over the past 3 months I am not sure where this aggression stems from exactly... Perhaps from being locked up in a metropolitan city of 15 million with no possible escape to the countryside... Or that family life has been exponentially stressful for me as I had to factor in the consideration, habits, needs and expectations of 3 other people/animal members... Or that I find myself oftentimes frustrated with my lack of Spanish vocabulary and replace with strong emotions what is left unexplained... Whatever the case(s) is, I can certainly comprehend the bouts of outrage that my Dad has exposed me to countless times A desire for power, expressing yourself, and perhaps compensating for all the other times that I remained silent as a little boy... But here's the thing : I kind of enjoy it, even if I am looking to observe it through meditation and thus gradually reduce its frequency/itensity...

He did add 2-3 other posts to expand the initial Abyss post that made the whole elite af ; unfortunately I never copied them and have since cancelled my Patreon subscription.

The final drop that made DGAF delete it, was a fellow poker player calling him down in a highly exploitative bluffing spot after he had read his thread ; other factors were how the negative criticism/trolling was affecting him and not wanting to keep it out there for free (it is behind his patreon paywall).

Yeah, definitely an interesting pattern to observe and am curious of such would be the case in animals as well...




-2.7k in 8h


Run good all

I'm curious about cost of living in Buenos Aires at the moment--do you remember what was the official exchange rate versus the black market rate was when you first arrived in B.A., and what are they both now?

You've traveled extensively...due to currency controls & the gap between the governments official rate and the black market rate, for a tourist traveling with cash, is Argentina about as cheap a place as you've been? How does it compare to places in SE Asia like Cambodia, Thailand, and the Philippines?

I've enjoyed reading your updates...now that covid restrictions are lessening a bit, are you starting to eat out and going out to restaurants more often? I know you're somewhat of a foodie, but I don't remember you writing too much about the food in B.A., this thread could use some food porn!

Have you made plans to visit Tigre yet?

Hey friend, how have you been? Still in Florida I take it!?!

A lot of stuff to breakdown here. When I first arrived, I got 75ARS per USD$ (the official rate was 60ARS which I only used once initially for pocket change before switching to the streets and then ultimately connecting with reliable traders ). The bank is now @ 77 while the Blue revolves around 165ARS I have myself been selling off some BTC and getting about 2-3% less then the blue, delivery included from a very reliable trader (guy hands me my 1-3k in cash while I send the BTC transaction minutes later from the comfort of my laptop )

Yup, cheapest I have been. And with much more commodities then the third world countries in SEA, more western, prettiest city in the Americas, a very strong culture and a ton of stuff to do in non-pandemic times

Just starting to get back indeed : it is not legal to eat inside (but certain restaurants do get away with it ; we entered just once, as we are not fully comfortable being while in the midst of our COVID peak and all), so it has been patios. We have been going on Wednesday's to a nearby Greek joint (very tasty) as a reliable option, as our neighbourhood is not exactly the richest/most known for its culinary hotspot (there are a few excellent Korean restaurants though) and the weather is just starting to turn thus making patios actually an enjoyable thing, you know

And food has been alright. I have a list of a few restaurants that I want to try out, am a member of a FB foodie page etc. Disclaimer : this is not Lima where you will find A TON of elite af restaurants while strolling in Miraflores, but when you seek out and research places, you will find some satisfying quality. Sushi has been disappointing though, as has been the Peruana joints. Typical Argentino food is meat-heavy, but I still managed to find some savoury non-meat dishes (as a semi-vegetarian).




The salads have been so-so depending on the establishment. Look at this selection of 2-3 vegetables with a few strips of fried shrimps This said, we have found some tasty salads, albeit the better option has been to make a chef's salad with 10-20 ingredients at home, you know




So B.A. has a strong Italian influence which has made me delight in numerous risottos over here ; this one is actually a beetroot - go figure - based one - with brie cheese - coming from a French culture, the selection of cheese is also quite mediocre . Anyhow, I have come across some GOAT risottos




An alright-but-nothing-to-write-home-about-ceviche




Frankly, some of the most savoury meals have been us cooking them at home, partly because of La Cuarentena but also due to having more of a sedentary life. L is also an excellent cook, albeit limited to Paraguay/Argentina cuisine


We will be biking up the coast tomorrow ; not sure if we will make it to Tigre (38kms), but nonetheless, just to get the f**k out of the city will feel amazing yo

Conflicting Grounds

L and I are not doing amazing. At least not for the past month. If things were rosy af for our first 2 months of coexistence and that I felt TREMENDOUSLY HAPPY , the past month has been much more grim... I mean, what to say... I went from being "this is the shyt" and "Ahhh, I get all these peeps that find happiness in family life", to frequent arguments (when it's not with L, it is with her son ) that not only punctuate these highs with doses of uncertainties and unease, while the latter have also been less elevating ; how do you justify a greenish sunny afternoon in the park when that imminent storm threatens at every God damn moment, you know

Of course, when you find yourself in the heart of the windy arguments and whatnot, you tend to put the blame on your partner, right, as how the f**k can I be in the wrong, right... And then this stormy anger grabs you by your feet, hoists you up from the ground, and with all its exasperated impulses, it pushes you to yell out profanities, you know

But lets approach this problem through a more rational and less metaphoric prism, shall we not :

Primo : L and I initially fell for each other while dating. Dressing up to go to restaurants. A Theatre play. A tango show. Cinemas. Travelling. A ton of entertainment, really, where I would step away from my daily grind and her from her mundane work/family life. Of course the Pandemic has had plans of its own We are still left with enuff activities to step away from the daily routine, but we are oftentimes left with just ourselves, with not too much to say, because...

Segundo : We are quite the opposites. I mean, my taste in women have switched over the years from hippie and alternative chicks to more high maintenance and classy ladies - sorta speak. I do like that L finds herself (slightly) on the other side of the spectrum on a variety of subjects. And I certainly would not want to date a poker pro lady. Nevertheless, we find ourselves talking about the dog most of the time, the (boring) stuff we did during the day, the daily COVID cases, what we will do in the future etcetera, with too often a silence creeping in on us

Tercero : Family problems have been stressing me out. Not to the extent where I find myself constantly tensed, nah, nah, but certainly subtle enuff to be constantly underlined. Mainly the dog getting into puppy fights (which in turn leads to arguments with certain dog-owners) or chasing cars ; and mainly L's son being at the delicate adolescent age of 13 while not benefitting of the presence of his friends ; when he leaves the house for more then 10 minutes, he gets struck by anxiety attacks, as his gaming addiction has left him with the thinnest patience in the world This has been hard on us. On L who is obviously concerned. And on me who at times has to be on the wrong end of his humours, while trying to my maintain my adult cool and understanding, which...

Quatro : I have not maintained my cool at all times as I find myself with a nasty temperament more often then I should. When you combine this with L's and her son's strong personalities, it is a fracking NUCLEAR BOMB

Cinco : Cultural differences. To add to the clash in attitudes, I definitely had to adapt to the former. Albeit they are not as pronounced as one might think, as I see lots of overlapping in between French and Latino ways of being. I guess the main one has been that people fracking speak their mind in these parts, something I have done as well, even if it meant inherently going against my nature.

Seis : Spanish misunderstandings. This has been a bigger issue then the cultural ones, tbh, and I feel that we could of carved off perhaps 1/3 of our disputes if I did not misunderstand or spoke the right words.

Siete : The financial discrepancy. If L was originally an upper middle-class earner, this Lockdown has officially - as of 2 weeks ago - increased the poverty levels to affect 40.9% of the population Moreover, with the price on the Blue Market more then doubling in the past 7 months, L has effectively seen her salary being halved Now she is a proud lady and given that we are living quite the comfortable life over here (in terms of housing and food), she rapidly finds herself with little to no money by paying for her share.

Anyhow, despite these shortcomings/adaptations, I feel fracking amazing Sure L is still not speaking to me (since last night) and we might be separating imminently (probably not, but still a 30-70% chance I guestimate...), but I don't know, the sun was shining like a mama-fracking today and everything just... felt right yo Not that this outcome will be a positive one, but despite how this ends up, I am at peace yo Part of me still visualizes purchasing a place with L in the near future in the countryside, but even if these dreamy images are stomped by the ones of having to rent a place of my own in Palermo for the winter, everything would still be f**king sweet




+300$ in 6h


Run good all