I think its impossible

No one can possibly be worse than you OP. Literally a monkey mashing buttons could achieve a better win rate than you. Or even just folding every hand, apart from AA which you shove pre.

Plenty of people in this thread have provided very basic strategies that could help you lose less, that even someone who had never played a hand of poker in their life could follow. But you don't want to do it, because I think you want to keep losing. You desperately want to keep hold of that accolade of being the biggest loser in the history of online poker.

What still puzzles me is how OP can lose at this rate while still displaying normal/average cognitive abilities in other areas. I would imagine someone who has one of the worst "winrates" in history to be genuinely mentally ******ed and incapable of:

- using the multi-quote function on a forum
- being semi-fluent in a second language (assuming he grew up in Finland)
- remembering specific hands which were played months ago
- recalling the name of a famous physicist

I'm not an expert on intelligence but I thought it's fair to assume that someone who is semi-skilled in one area can't be the absolute bottom of the barrel in another. There also is the idea that there could be even worse players we don't hear about, however I think no one has ever found anyone so bad on any tracking sites like PTR.
You could also make the claim that OPs episodic super tilt is the main factor in him losing so hard, but given enough time, "genuinely ******ed" people with super tilt should be able to lose even harder imo.

I'm guessing multi-table approach combined with horrendous tilt issues.

edit: OP, if you ever want to play heads up, please let me know. I'm down for literally any form of stakes.

Very good posts from couple of writers I really appreciate it.

I thought the worst players are at party poker. The loosest limp callers, active stealers not fold to raise not fold to flop tards but now after 5 days at 888 I must say that never seen this kind of action in my over 10 years poker life. There can be 3-4 limp callers on table, (stat like this):



stealers who can stand raising and starts to push all in any ace, king, queen, pair etc. What is bad is that guy with 58/11 stats limp calls with J2 offsuit and calls flop bet on board J95, call again on turn 4, and call shove on 2 when you have aces. Party's nl2 players were really good and it's hilarious they play nl2 years after years even they can make bigger profits at higher stakes.

Keeping head calm under the conditions described above is maybe the harders and biggest thing to achieve.

Post graph for 888 so far?

It's really disaster.

Why not play Pokerstars Zoom. Biggest pool of players and you can play much less tables.

My ability to draw/create anything that is easy on the eye is shocking. In fact, I remember getting a detention in school because of my Art teacher presuming I was just messing about and not taking the lesson seriously, whereas I was sincerely trying and unable to produce anything reasonable...

My belief (totally subjective, without any research whatsoever) is that there are 4-5 different types of intellects: artistic, analytical, engineering and physical (sports athletes, for example), and perhaps a last one that isn't so specific: common sense; you can find really smart and intelligent folk out there who have nout of it, and others, seemingly "less intelligent" having plenty of it.

So, imo, just become OP sucks immensely at Poker (sorry OP...), doesn't mean he's at all incapable of being rather intelligent, and living an otherwise healthy and balanced life.

I read through this full thread and have a bad headache now

I doubt he is living a healthy and balanced life, he is on welfare or w/e

Hoping 888 offers less volume so you can donate your nation’s welfare checks to the 2nl pool at a slower rate. Gl

No, it's trivially easy. You just suck at poker.

Maybe you tell how to do it?

Act like an adult and don't throw a tantrum when you lose hand or two or ten.

The fact that you can't print money vs these guys is embarrassing.

Yes it is and makes me really furious. They hit with an incredible percentage with their bulls*it hands. Typical example:

888Poker, Hold'em No Limit - $0.01/$0.02 - 5 players

richbranson (UTG): $1.05 (53 bb)
Paisting (CO): $2.29 (115 bb)
nosteponsnek (BU): $2.02 (101 bb)
TomYumJay (SB): $2.00 (100 bb)
TaranToul (BB): $4.14 (207 bb)

Pre-Flop: ($0.03) Hero (Paisting) is CO with A♣ A♠
1 fold, Paisting (CO) raises to $0.08, nosteponsnek (BU) calls $0.08, 2 players fold

Flop: ($0.19) 6♥ K♣ 2♦ (2 players)
Paisting (CO) bets $0.14, nosteponsnek (BU) calls $0.14

Turn: ($0.47) T♥ (2 players)
Paisting (CO) bets $0.35, nosteponsnek (BU) calls $0.35

River: ($1.17) 8♣ (2 players)
Paisting (CO) bets $1.72 (all-in), nosteponsnek (BU) calls $1.45 (all-in)

Total pot: $4.07 (Rake: $0.25)

Showdown:
Paisting (CO) shows A♣ A♠ (a pair of Aces)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 80%, Flop: 92%, Turn: 95%, River: 0%)

nosteponsnek (BU) shows 8♦ 8♥ (three of a kind, Eights)
(Equity - Pre-Flop: 20%, Flop: 8%, Turn: 5%, River: 100%)

nosteponsnek (BU) wins $3.82

Playing pot control against them makes no money and some thing about value bets.

He had a set. Why didnt you x/f river?

You obviously have a mental illness, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Just stop playing online poker, your mental illness makes it impossible for it to be productive for you.

It's really that simple.

There are many, many productive things you can do with your life instead of this. You will never be good at poker, get it through your head. Move onto something else.

It's beyond embarrassing what you're doing to yourself itt. Just outright sad. Please for the love of all that is holy, stop playing online poker and pretending like you're just getting unlucky. You are sick.

Really good play against 50/11 guy? You think that he wont bet K there? Just pushing hard sets, straights and flushes against 50/11 guys. That's the way to print money from them? Check folding aces?

Playing lots of tables is a disaster for anyone who tilts as hard as you. A couple of big pots can go against you and before you know it, you're shoving any 2 cards on 9 separate tables.

Looks like you tried to step on snek

Go to Vegas ---> Play the main ---> Mincash ---> There's your $16k right there.

What you're doing clearly isn't working, so taking advice from people who aren't the biggest loser in online poker history might be worth a shot.

Also 50/11 are preflop stats. They have little to do with how someone plays on the river. Your inability to understand how to play different streets against different villains may be contributing to your results. Also the constant blind shoves.