LOL @ Limp-reraise UTG with 78s last night at Pechanga (spur of the moment trip). Live players are funny sometimes.

Tipping the dealer, $1. Buying the button, $18. Lunatic image, priceless.

So this (over)thinking play decided last night that I was, and I quote, "A crazy whiteboy player." He distilled this essential knowledge based on one hand early in the sesion and proceeded to consistently misread and misplay against me for the next 5 hours (he was very verbal about what he thought everyone had).

By the end of the session he was down about $400 and I was up $950. He continued to pass advice on how to beat me to players next to him.

My favorite part was that he repeatedly asked me what I had when there was no showdown. I told him each time.

"Two cards."

Gonna try and see if the other avatar works.

I have to remember this. I have been using "a good hand".

It was pretty funny. By the end of the night he would ask, I'd hold up to fingers, and he'd say "what? you had deuces?" A couple of the better players were just laughing, and would have to tell him that no, I was saying I had two cards, same as last time.

I think this honestly earned me a couple hundred extra dollars, since he was steamed and continued to bluff raise and call me down.

I like to say I had a pair. When he asks, "What pair?", I say, "A pair of cards."

I still just shrug & don't say a word.

The following reminds me of Grease's recent AJs/"poor-published-advice" thread.

At any rate:

I'm engaged in a certain daily ritual and have selected a long-forgotten title from my poker library to peruse so that I might make "added" use of my time. I came across the following:

Hand: A6

Number of players: Ten

Game Conditions: Tight-aggressive

Theme: Mediocre hands

Position: Cut-Off seat

Problem Description: You are in the cut-off seat. There are no callers. You limp and the Button folds. The Small Blind folds. The Big Blind checks. There are two and a half small bets in the pot. The hand is now heads-up.

The flop is: 874

The Big Blind checks. Do you:

(a) Bet?
(b) Check?

or, my personal favorite:

(c) Wipe your ass with the page?

PS. The book INCLUDES BONUS DVD!

I was sweating a certain Green Elephant while he played some internet Texas last night, and he was running a lil bad, when the following occurred: The Elephant pops two nines from the CO after a limp, the sb and bb both call and we're four handed. The Elephant says to me in his deep Elephant voice: "wow I need to flop a nine to win this pot".

I lol a little because The Elephant has a funny voice and because I recognize the truth in his statement, wise Elephant. Anyhow, of course the flop comes 269 rainbow, and the Elephant intones: "watch me lose a huge pot". I lol and wait to see the chippies go the other way.

The flop gets capped 3 ways and we're off to the turn which is the 2 bringing bd spades. I tell The Elephant what a good card it is, not the 5 or T or 7 or 8. He informs me that he was just sucked out on by quad deuces and now he needs a nine again to win the pot. As the turn gets capped, with The Elephant trapped in the middle, not able to fold his one outer, I say in my normal human voice: "we've done it once, we can do it again!" The Elephant grunts.

BANG: 9 of spades on the river. The Elephant chances a wager saying that he would have check folded if the nine hadn't come. I smile as the rivah gets capped three ways with The Elephant putting in the last call. If we were playing live, The Elephant might squint across the table at his victims and ask: "whachu got kid?" But since we're surfing the intertubes, the first player flips up A5ss for the nutflush. The second player, in what he can only assume will be his moment of triumph turns up the deuce and the deuce. Oh if only the Elephant could shake his head sadly as he flips up first one nine then, with a flourish, the second one.

Does it include instructions on how to jam this pot?

I think I used that page the last time I read it.

Whew! For a minute I thought you were talking about the bbb (knowing his disdain for shrimp cocktails and all...).

On DVD is PokerStars program w/ easy-to-use single [Check/Call] button.

Do you know another Big Green Elephant?

Are you a blond?

so thanksgiving night i went and played in a home game at my brother's house. these were all the guys that played in the home game where i got my poker start back in 04-05. it's a dealers choice game that is probably 80% hold em with some NLO8 and NL7Stud8.

anyway, i don't remember much about the game but i did pull off the infamous limp reraise reraise. moron who was limp reraising every time his limp was raised open limps MP, i overlimp the button with KK, sb(who is my brother and has been raising the MP limper pretty liberally because he LRR every time) raises, folds to MP who does the LRR and i do the LRRRR shoving. of course i lose to two pair versus JTo on the river, but it was still a pretty fun hand.

Just tell us that the loss what "kept in the family."

um wat?

BBB:

I wonder if you'd be good enough to help me out here- being that we're friends and you were, after all, my "avatar sponsor."

I think I'll just give up on witty retorts.

doc

This is way off topic, but I was talking to a friend about a potential job out of the country, and we started talking about survival skills in another country. Anyway, I realized that I could order a couple of beers in several languages, but I didn't have a clue how to get two beers in french. Is is because you can't order two beers in french, or do you just use your best American accent, and say 'Two beers, bitch!'

Voo le vooko say a meck brew, meck brew.

Do you want to go upstairs and have beer, have beer?

(Feeble attempt at best)

Deux bieres, s'il vous plait- bitch.

I always give an answer. 1/2 to 2/3rds of the time I'm telling the truth. The rest of the time I'm completing lying to re-enforce whatever table image I currently have going.

But I am Le Tired.

Holy moly, the short term can be a fun ride.

October: -208 BB in 31 hours = -6.8 BB/hour, I am the world's worst poker player.
November: +159 BB in 41 hours = +3.9 BB/hour, I am the world's best poker player.