I am really insulted as a pastafarian that my religion doesn't get the respect it deserves. I truly believe in the flying spaghetti monster and this thread is for my fellow believers.You can learn more here if you are unfamiliar with my faith Please do not mock the spaghetti monster or pretend my religion is just an example made by athiest to try to the undisprovability of his noodly appendege. This thread is for real believers

A letter from a pastafarian(bobby henderson) to the kansas school board
"I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.



In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

I predict this Official FSM thread will be a greater success than the last Official FSM thread(which at the moment is on page 4 and has whopping 3 replies.) Its too bad you Pastafarians don't believe in using the search function.

It says in the Pastafarian gospel people like you would eventually come to try to tear us down. Your response in this thread has only further proven and validated the Pastafarian gospel.

Stu is the anti-spaghett!

I have personally been touched by His Noodly Appendage. It was in a naughty place but I didn't mind.

Five Stars!

Not in.

I don't like religions.

Actually, wait...is this religion discriminatory or harmful in any way?

absolutely!

that thread is just further proof of the FSM's noodly existence.

The fact that thread failed is proof the FSM hates you blutarski... or at least forum does....or proof avatars with big boobs get noticed more than sad clowns

Just because I don't know how to use the search function does not mean all pastafarians don't know how to use the search function. Stu, please do not stereotype pastafarians so quickly and try to keep a respectful tone. Thanks.

To all the other posters in this thread, Im glad to meet you! Ramen!

Its not discriminatory. Everyone is welcome regardless of age, gender, race, orsexual orientation.
It is debatebly harmful, but that is not a debate I want to get into right now.

I'm in.

Ramen (closet pastafarian seeking to reassure his faith)

i believe the proper term is antipasti

it seems to me the FSM theory is MUCH more plausable than the non-FSM ID theory, because it is the only one of the two that takes into account all the discrepancies between ID and measureable objective reality.”
– Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D

I'm a proud member of the Reformed Church of Alfredo, but I try my best to be tolerate of all those who have been touched by his Noodly Appendage.

the evidence for the creation of the universe by his noodly appendages is overwhelming

I mean look at string theory!! is it not just science now finally catching up to the milennia old knowledge that the universe was created by his noodly appendages (strings)

Science continues to try to catch up to observations foretold in the gospel of the flying spaghtti monster; specifically the obvious connection between the number of pirates and the average global temperature.



During the last twelve months scientists have been baffled at a recent drop in global temperature

http://www.dailytech.com/Temperature...ticle10866.htm


There is a very simple reason for this sudden reversal of trends: an increase in the number of pirates.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7650415.stm

As somali pirates florish, the global temperature will continue to fall, that much is obvious. If we do not take swift action, Somali pirates and other pirate groups will grow more confident and greater in number. The earth will move toward a global ice age.

This is another example of fsm theory and the scientific community seperated where they should be working together in harmony. Let us all work together.
Ramen.

I need to add that while I accept pirates as divine beings, and captain Mosey as a hero, It's my personal belief that today's pirates have came on too strong too soon, and that can only lead to confusion and hate. A real pirate needs lots of time for self acceptence and and inward contemplation.

Aye aye sir. These modern day "pirates" are giving piracy a bad name. No eye patches or swords are even utilised in the pictures I have seen.

Bloody scoundrels.

Ramen.

mockery! your religion does nothing but mimic other religions. mainly Christianity. IM GOING TO KILL YOUR GOD TONIGHT WHEN I MAKE DINNER.

How arrogant! You may think you're killing him but, as the gospel makes clear, you are consuming his physical body in an act of holy communion.