**~**The Official 2011 FTP Regulars Thread (NSFW)**~** - Page 708 - Small Stakes Full Ring Games

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**~**The Official 2011 FTP Regulars Thread (NSFW)**~**

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07-26-2011 , 01:08 PM

#17676

MATEUSZEK

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 3,598

sigh

$25m Guaranteed WPM on CoinPoker

Join the action now

Daily Rewards • Splash Pots • CoinRaces

07-26-2011 , 01:13 PM

#17677

Metellus

old hand

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,910

Well pretty sure thats the end of our money.

07-26-2011 , 01:16 PM

#17678

2cards2come

adept

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 931

****ty situation (shocking), but awesome review river

07-26-2011 , 01:17 PM

#17679

DiscoBisco

banned

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,701

So can someone tell me what actually happened instead of that long rediculous story river wrote.

07-26-2011 , 01:21 PM

#17680

TheRenaissance

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 10,588

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

So can someone tell me what actually happened instead of that long rediculous story river wrote.

Wave your money goodbye.

07-26-2011 , 01:23 PM

#17681

Metellus

old hand

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,910

FTP lawyer: Can we talk in private?

AGCC: You owe us 250,000 quid btw. But sure.

Time passes

AGCC: We will reconvene no later than Sept 15th b/c FTP has shady business deals to conduct. Ttyl.

07-26-2011 , 01:32 PM

#17682

gadolparah

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 4,356

thanks for the cliffs river

07-26-2011 , 01:34 PM

#17683

DiscoBisco

banned

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,701

so does that mean we have to wait until september 15th for a decision on whats happening? so ftp will be out of operation for 3 months???

07-26-2011 , 01:43 PM

#17684

GoAheadPutMeOnAK

banned

Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 4,768

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiverMustelid

I would like to thank Ren for suggesting I head along to the AGCC hearing. Otherwise I might have spent the morning in bed, drinking coffee, or some other valuable activity. So this is my just for fun, **** you/thank you Ren trip report.

For those with high hopes for today, stop reading here; for those of a cynical disposition please continue.

The hearing took place at the drab Victoria Park Plaza, 2 floors down in the basement. Wherever the missing money has gone, it wasn’t squandered on the venue. To set the scene for this high-powered legal tussle, in the adjacent meeting room a seminar was taking place entitled “What rich Dads do differently – the things they teach that poor and middle class parents don’t”. Perhaps it was being delivered by Full Tilt Poker’s executives; there seemed to be precious few in the AGCC hearing. Sadly, I couldn’t afford to find out.

And what stars were in attendance for this all important occasion? Well, Mel Judah was there. I don’t know who Mel Judah is, but I am confident he was there.

Fear not, however, your money is being put to good use. Full Tilt had assembled a legal team to stand in their stead. You could tell they were expensive by the width of the pinstripes on the lead lawyer’s suit. His face was the colour of roast beef, and his glasses were large enough to have accommodated several extra pairs of eyes. In the other corner was a bookish team of 3 representing Alderney. Let the games commence!

The chairwoman noted the time, and proceedings were underway. Actually in the short period of time I was there, she noted the time on at least 4 occasions. She may have heard that Switzerland was good at this tax haven thingamajig, and also pretty hot on telling time. Anyway, she performed this duty with great skill.

The day’s events apparently would follow the lines laid out by the 2009 Alderney E-Gambling regulations. First, however, Full Tilt would like to submit for an adjournment. And before that they would like to submit that any proceedings should be held “in camera”, or as the plebeian poker players in the back 3 rows might call it, secret.

The lead lawyer for Full Tilt then presented the case for secrecy in a fawning manner perhaps not un-reminiscent of Uriah Heep. Apparently Full Tilt has been in commercial negotiations: it would be prejudicial to them to have to give evidence in public. And prejudicial to the interests of the players. Dear players! In fact there seemed so much prejudice you wondered if you’d stumbled into a chapter of the local Klu Klux Klan.

Moreover, there had been enormous press and public interest. Supporting this, apparently E-Gambling review had been planning a live twitter feed. Imagine! No doubt households around the globe would be spitting out their cereal, choking on their croissant, or putting down their pork buns in consternation. Tens, or even hundreds of them.

And this was before we even got on to the risk of “self incrimination” or the whole thorny issue of the Human Rights Act of 2000. Human Rights! I must admit I was nodding off at this point, but as my head jolted back up, I’m pretty sure I heard something to do with Howard Lederer having been stuck in Somalia after trying to set up a new regulatory home for FTP, and now suffering from lack of food.

Anyway, our Oxbridge educated legal eagle opined, you said it was normally in secret AND in Alderney, and so given we’re in London why not lets be friendly and make it secret too, eh?

Alderney’s response to this was fiery and robust. They would neither consent to, nor oppose, a motion for the hearing to be held in secret. Surely nobody could accuse this body of toothlessness! There was, however, the small matter of £250,000 unpaid by Full Tilt to its regulators, two missed payments.

In leapt FTP’s lead council. Of course they could pay! Everything had just been so unclear what with the regulatory hearing and all. But yes, get the regulation back up, lets pay, lets move forward, in camera!

25 minutes recess, and the die were cast. Camera it is! The punters have been punted. An apologetic lead counsel for FTP said he needed another hour and a half for his case for adjournment to be made. He sounded desperately unhappy to have put out the Chair in such a way. Possibly it would go down to the wire as to whether they would make it in time for the carvery lunch upstairs. Who knows, because at that point, in most English fashion, we were politely asked to remove ourselves.

One man stood tall at this point, heckled the chair for treating the players like dirt. The rebellion had started. Not with a hail of shoes, but with a smattering of applause for his stance and a grumbling not much louder than that of a stomach. And then we left, while the big boys had a chat about the mysterious case of the vanishing bank roll.

Best cliffs I could hope for.

07-26-2011 , 01:56 PM

#17685

RAW_FORCE

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 5,321

truly amazing write up river

07-26-2011 , 02:34 PM

#17686

juan valdez

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5,679

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiverMustelid

I would like to thank Ren for suggesting I head along to the AGCC hearing. Otherwise I might have spent the morning in bed, drinking coffee, or some other valuable activity.

yeah i think its important we got a first hand report of what happened

thanks ren!

07-26-2011 , 02:48 PM

#17687

Jah Onion

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 10,955

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

So can someone tell me what actually happened instead of that long rediculous story river wrote.

^^ ban

07-26-2011 , 02:55 PM

#17688

JadeLane

grinder

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 518

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

So can someone tell me what actually happened instead of that long rediculous story river wrote.

07-26-2011 , 02:55 PM

#17689

DiscoBisco

banned

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,701

that story was pretty rediculous. when i have 20k on the line, the last thing i want is to have to wade through some rediculously written story to find the info that could have taken 3 sentences to write. i mean i appreciate that river was trying to be some witty story teller but thats not what anyone needs right now. but im glad you guys liked it.

07-26-2011 , 02:59 PM

#17690

EddieOB

veteran

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,079

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiverMustelid

For those with high hopes for today, stop reading here; for those of a cynical disposition please continue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

...

07-26-2011 , 03:08 PM

#17691

MATEUSZEK

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 3,598

Quote:

Originally Posted by **********

Everyone BUT you enjoyed it.

07-26-2011 , 03:12 PM

#17692

King Spew

Just average

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 16,136

rediculous gunna ridiculouse

moran gunna moreron

07-26-2011 , 03:13 PM

#17693

Jah Onion

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 10,955

Quote:

i'm pretty sure given the situation that IS what everyone needs right now.

07-26-2011 , 03:14 PM

#17694

H0NEY BADGER

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,650

Quote:

Originally Posted by MATEUSZEK

Everyone BUT you enjoyed it.

**** that, i didnt enjoy it. i came in here ready to get all depressed and chase some nyquil with whiskey but then river made me laugh and now im in a better mood so nyquil has same status as my ftp money today. i wont be havin either. thanks river. ass

07-26-2011 , 03:16 PM

#17695

Jah Onion

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 10,955

just hit me up on AIM mentioning one of any number of subjects like world hunger, the state of democracy, etc etc

07-26-2011 , 03:36 PM

#17696

blankoblanco

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 8,394

disco, it's not rediculous until it's diculous twice. your second usage is correct but first one needs to be changed to diculous. hth

07-26-2011 , 04:07 PM

#17697

DiscoBisco

banned

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,701

so im starting to think that my best option to pursue in life now is to make a craiglist ad:

"Overweight out of work white male, with nothing of value to provide, seeking gorgeous young rich white female to take him in"