I arrive at my apartment sometime during mid day with luggage in both hands. Presumably, I had just gotten off a flight. I'm walking down the hall to my place when I notice one of my neighbors has her door slightly cracked. She says hello and tells me to stop by after I unpack. So I throw my bags in my room and head back into the hallway.

I immediately notice why my neighbor (who I think was named Dora... or Nora or something. No, she has no resemblance to anyone in my life) told me to come by, which at the time felt neither usual nor surprising. There sat Tiger Woods, in full white Nike golf gear, relaxing on one of her sectional couches. Joining them were two nondescript white guys who had no lines in this play. Nora's living room, unlike most people's, was not set up towards a television, though she had two. Her four couches were set up facing each other in a square shape, probably in order to promote conversation.

Before being invited to sit down, I look to my left and notice two different golf tournaments on TV. One I immediately recognize as the U.S. Open, the other had the familiar-looking green-trimmed leaderboard; it was the Masters. "What, are you watching reruns or something?" I chuckle. I was politely reminded of the terrible natural disaster that hit in April, delaying the Masters until Father's Day weekend. "Oh yeah," I replied, though this felt like entirely new information. Apparently half of the top players chose to play in the Masters, while the others took a shot at the depleted field in the U.S. Open. I looked over and checked out the Masters, where Rory and Rickie Fowler were battling for the Thursday lead.

I finally sit down and the five of us shoot the **** for a little while until Tiger gets up to leave. I get up with him and tell him I have something to ask him before he goes. He nods and we walk outside. I then proceed to tell him all about my golf game, how much I want to get better, and gave him my rough outline for how I was going to practice. Then I asked him, "If you were me, how would you get better?"

He gave me one of those ear-to-ear Tiger grins and replied: "Man, you need to get laid."