ok, here it is... For all of you that have been complaining about the lack of updates, pictures and my general laziness... This is going to be long and painful. The last time I stuck a somewhat legible sentence together was likely under duress in high-school. Also, I get pretty tired of writing towards the end and the wrting goes down hill (quality and quantity ) very quickly...

To further decrease your viewing displeasure, I am a terrible photographer and the fact that I got at least a handful of semi-presentable photos out of 400 or so never ceases to amaze me. Monkeys on a typewriter indeed. So if you feel like criticising the artistic composition of my photos.... WHERE'S YOUR PHOTOS OF CARNIVAL, HUH?!

Also, I'm sure this will disappoint many viewers, but this report has been classified "G" for general distribution. Sordid details of drunken debauchery will have to wait until you see me next time and buy me a beer. One beer per drunken debauchery story is the going rate.

To maintain the integrity of this report which I'm sure will become a timeless masterpiece of literature, I'm going to list all prices in local currency (Brazilian Real/BRL/R$). Currently you get around 1.6 BRL for an Australian dollar. So if you're trying to do the maths in your head, subtract about a third from the price and you will get close in Australian dollars. American dollars are pretty close to that at the moment, maybe subtract around 40% of the price.

Finally, I use "I" and "we" interchangeably throughout this report. 99% of the time I was accompanied by my willing and able translator, negotiator, security guard and guide who despite not being a Carioca and despite being female (so obviously not able to read a map), proved invaluable. She is introduced here. Yes. Despite being made from metal, he was quite active.



Day 0. Getting There.
Day 1. Part A. Corcovado.
Day 1. Part B. Maracana
Day 2. Part A. Ipanema
Day 2. Part B. Sambodromo
Day 3. Recovery.
Day 4. Pao de Acucar.

This will hopefully be short and sweet, because there is really nothing interesting about waiting around airports. Viracopos airport, just outside Sorrocaba is just like any smallish, domestic airport. Expensive food. Overpriced souvenirs.

My plane arrives and departs on time (with me on it). Flight is around and hour. Service is standard. Blah, blah.

Probably the only "You know you're in Rio when..." thing that happens this day is arriving at Rio domestic airport, I scan the uninterested looking drivers holding name-plates to find nothing that resembles my name or my travel agent's name... After waiting around for a while, trying to look alert and un-pick-pocket-able I call the numbers listed by the travel agent... Nothing... I Call the hotel, "Sorry. We can't help you. Your travel agent is responsible for your transport" ...I think I can hear a s****** as I hang up...

Also, I think I failed at my "looking un-ripoffable" look when a little tubby guy in a lime green hat with a bright pink ribbon tied around it and a hibiscus print shirt told me that it was totally standard for drivers not to show, but don't worry, he happens to be a driver who's passenger didn't show, so he would be happy to take me to my hotel... Cool, thanks buddy... I'll meet you outside.

So, it's time to check out Rio's finest taxi drivers. It's quite funny really, you know they are going to try and rip you off... they know you know they are going to try and rip you off and yet you still go through the same dance... Although the subtle twist to this dance was the guy carrying a two-way and a lapel with ID asking if I wanted a taxi..
"Sure... I'm going to Copacobana." I say with scepticism, despite the fact this guy actually looks somewhat legit and official.
"OK! Take that blue taxi! R$45"
"Ok, just a minute"

After a quick call to the hotel... "How much do you think it would cost to get a taxi from the airport to the hotel?"
"Oh, around R$25-30".
"Ok, thanks".

And it's off to find another taxi.

Rio travel hint #1: Try and independently verify all prices.

I'm going to say right here that I know it is only a difference of R$15... but I'm sure you can all appreciate, that's not the point! Also, as I am soon to find out, there is a difference between what they say it will cost and what it does cost...

After waiting around and fending of a few more taxi-pimps, I find the "legit" taxi group. Rio travel hint #2: take the yellow taxis. This guy tells me it will be R$25-R$30, sounds close enough. Despite there being no traffic, it ends up costing R$35, but I'll take that as a win.

The nice taxi driver offers me his services (driving services obviously...) for tomorrow and tells me for R$200 he will take me to Corcavado, Pão de Açúcar and Maracaná. I graciously accept his card which I drop in the bin on the way into the hotel.

So I'll finish today's story off with a bit of a schill for the hotel. Its nice and tidy, the staff speak English and it's close to Copacobana beach. The room is small, but tidy. Who cares, not like you come to Rio in February to sit in a hotel, right?

It was very nice of them to put up a portrait of me on the wall in my room.

I wander down to the hotel restaurant around 9am to check out the breakfast on offer. I'm not going to turn this into a blow-by-blow eating diary, but the buffet was certainly complete. Bacon, eggs, sausages and daily rotations of things like quiches, spicy mince, etc.

On the sweet side of things it were plentiful choices of pastries and fruits. A handful of juices and some random cereals. This will be the last mention of the awesome breakfast, but you get the idea.

Aside:Interestingly, the first time I had a conversation with a Brazilian about where to eat and what they had, the response was "Eat at this place. They have a buffet and you can eat as much as you can."
"I think you mean: As much as you want" I polity corrected.
"No. I understand the English. Really, it is so good you eat as much as you can."


So with stomachs full of goodness, I decide the best way to begin my Rio adventure is by getting mugged on the Metro. I'm disappointed to find that the metro is just a couple of blocks walk, well guarded and clearly signed so the mugging will have to wait.

The metro is cheap and easy to negotiate, although for a major city, it is not very expansive. Probably around 30 stations on two lines. It costs you around R$3, which once you have paid, lets you take any number of trains any distance until you actually exit another station.

I should probably point out, while the bare brick wall tunnels are very picturesque, I wasn't just cruising around on the metro for the fun of it in the hope of getting robbed, I'm actually heading in the direction of the first tourist point of call. Here's a hint.



So, I exit the metro at what appears to be somewhat close to where I might be able to find a bus to get me towards Corcavado. I ask a very disinterested information person who has gone to the lengths of removing his vest that says "Can I help you?" and has it scrunched up in his hand... It appears Cariocas like working on Carnival weekend about as much as anyone...

Anyway, through my translator, and various techniques probably sanctioned only by US congress, it becomes apparent that the correct station is a back one stop in the other direction. Thanks. I guess.

Finally exiting at the correct station, I hunt a bus... At this point in time, my translator/negotiator/guide is worth double her weight in gold. The metro is easy enough to work around and if you get lost, you only have a choice of two directions to go in... Rio buses on the other hand have no such safety
Buses seem to stop randomly on the street letting people in and out. They sometimes have numbers and destinations on the front, but they're not to be relied on. Bus stops often appear to be a sign with a bus on it and a printed piece of paper letting you know what buses should stop here.



I get the feeling that without some native speak, the bus trip could have gone down-hill - or more worrying, uphill into the favelas - very quickly.

Eventually the bus stops in the middle of the street (as they do) and lets us know that this is where to get a shuttle up to see the big man (or should that be the son of the big man?) and out I get.

Seconds after leaving the bus, before my body has recovered from exiting a relatively comfortable mid-20s, air-conditioned bus into a mid-30s billion percent humidity street, the shuttle pimps are working hard on filling their rides.

This time (stupidly or not) with no negotiation, I accept the R$45 price which includes entry fee and a return trip up the hill. It seems like this is a hefty price, but I'm told the other option is the light-rail which is R$35 and doesn't include entry fee.

I can't help but feel a little sceptical when the guy telling me that is the normal price calls the price out to the driver who takes the money... Oh well.

After 10 minutes or so of a windy, cobbled road, we stop. The bus driver says something about 15 minutes and go look over there... Obviously he is being paid to drive, not to act as tour guide.

"Over there" turns out to be a little look out spot up a few flights of stone stairs and there is certainly no denying it is a great view of Rio.

To the east you look over Praia Botafoga with Pão de Açucar in the background.



And to the west, higher up the mountain, you get a view of our destination for the day.



Oh, and to the north-west you see get some city view with the obligatory hill-side favela in the foreground.



I also came up with a totally original idea for a photo.



So after a few more "Ohhs and Ahhhs", I head back down the stairs to be pleasantly surprised that my bus is still waiting and hadn't just dumped me off somewhere on a hill in Rio.

Another 10 or 15 minutes and we reach the top. Well, kind of... Here our bus driver hands out our entry tickets and I feel much better about paying the R45 for the bus + entry when I find entry alone is R$35.



The driver says something about shuttles going all day back down the hill and I can take which ever one I like at any time.

Following the crowd, I'm happy to finally be getting to the monument... We board the final bus to the summit... then find the stairs to the summit... then find the final stairs to the summit... To be honest, the walk is easy in that it is all stairs (albeit lots of them) and pavement, but I do have to say, if you are a little heat/sun adverse, its probably best not to do this at mid-day in the middle of summer...

In the end, it was worth the climb, sweat and tears. There is certainly an aura about the statue and the surrounding view is spectacular.

I'm getting tired of writing, so I'll let the camera do the talking for a while...








So, after wandering around, losing close to half my body weight in sweat, we decided to stop for a beer and take in the serenity.



While sipping away on my beer, I receive a message from a friend also in Rio for Carnival. He's going to the football tonight at Maracaná. This seems like as good time as any to see the famous stadium. So we bid farewell to our big rocky friend and head back down the mountain. Destination, the suburb of Lapa.

So my friend messaged me that their hostel had organized tickets to the game and that their bus would leave the hostel around 4:30pm. I locked in two and we left the mountain in the early afternoon heat, destination... ummm? The pub on some corner in Lapa...

Fortunately, as we met a couple of guys on the bus who were also heading to Lapa and knew the bus to take. Like most Brazilians, they seemed happy to help out, particularly if it gave them a chance to practice their English on the way. There is no doubt that Brazilians understand the importance of learning the international language and will go out of their way to get some practice in wherever possible.

We're waiting for the bus, and after one flies past we are starting to question the reliability of their information, but wait on... Eventually one stops and we''re on our way.

Now, we're sitting a few seats back from them, making occasional small talk until they suddenly exit the bus. We duly follow and once we are standing on the footpath we ask where we are, and where is the pub we are looking for.
“Ohhhh, that's right, you guys wanted to go to that pub. We're going to stop off here for a beer, your welcome to join us”
“Ummm, nah, we kinda have to meet friends”
“Ok, no problem. Walk down there, it's like 10 minutes, you can't miss it”.

So off we go... 10 minutes turn into 15 and 20 minutes until we get to an intersection which kinda looks like the one on our map (the map which seems to randomly omit every few streets or street names). Another 5 minutes and we round a corner to spot the Lapa arches. Finally, we're here. The only problem now is negotiating the thousands of people crowding a tiny stage set up in the middle of the street... with one hand on my phone and one hand on someone else's hand that is on my wallet. I dive in.

Eventually, the crowd thins enough that we can walk and breathe again, we find a pub on a corner, around where we think we are supposed to be and decide this is as good place as any to wait. It's now around 4pm, we decide we can get a quick bite before we have to meet at 4:30pm and it's been at least a day since I've had some barbecued meat so we take a seat in the busy pub and order.

The meat is excellent. Slightly chilli seasoned (which you don't often find in Brazil). Served with onions. Tender and tasty, as I've come to expect from Brazilian barbecue..

So as we are munching away on meat, washing it down with a much needed cold beer and I realise it is now 4:30pm... I exit the pub and after a little while of aimless wandering, I spot my friends on the street and we head off to their hostel to wait for the bus.

Sitting in the “bar” of their hostel, there are about 10 of us (mostly Aussies) chatting away and drinking beers until someone notices that it is now 5:30pm and the bus is an hour late. The word from the tour organiser is that the bus is stuck in traffic and will be here shortly. 6pm... 6:30pm and the bus finally arrives... “Doesn't the game start at 6:30pm?” someone asks the tour organiser.
“Oh, no problem, the start of the game has been delayed”.
Everyone seems happy with this explanation until I mention that if there is one thing that actually starts on time in Brazil, it is football.

Everyone is understandably a little upset with being left waiting so long and now being fed bogus stories. I decide to send in the negotiator to talk with the bus driver and see what he thinks. He estimates its going to take half an hour to get there, depending on traffic... It sounds extremely optimistic to me, but if he's right, we should make the second half.

All but two of the party decide to take the chance and jump in the bus. I mean, when is the next time you are going to have the chance to see a game at Maracaná? Obviously I'm the only one that has the foresight to take a traveller. Rookies.

It turns out the bus driver was right, and we make good time to get to the stadium, arriving at the half-time break.

!!TERRIBLE PHOTO WARNING!! The lighting just didn't seem to be happening in the stadium for photos....



The game was actually one of the semi-finals for the Campeonato Carioca - the Rio state championships. While the significance was probably somewhat lost a casual football fan from Australia, its hard to not get excited in the midst of such a passionate crowd.



The game went to a shoot-out. Vasco won. Our half of the stadium were sad. There were plenty of “Oi! Juiz! Vai tomar no cu!” chants from the Flumenese crowd.



I was happy to have been there.



After the game, we're waiting for the bus. Drinking beers on the street purchased from the kid carrying the esky... Totally standard. The bus arrives and off we go. Via my translator, the bus driver tells us that the place to be for the parties tonight is Ipanema or Copacobana and because he is such a great guy, he is going to take us home via those places, and we can jump out if we want.

So my friends and I part the rest of the group in Ipanema, hunting a pub, a party or all of the above. My friends from the hostel later find out that the bus later stopped in Copacobana at which point the bus driver decided he didn't want to go back to the hostel in Lapa, although he did kindly hail a cab for the rest of the group who did...

The rest of the night is fairly uneventful. The first couple of places we go to are full. The next one is busy, but has a table facing the street. We take the table and since it has been at least 6hrs since our last round of barbequed meat, we order up some meat, beers, caipirinha and some deep fried meat. Life is good.

During the meal, we're entertained by an impromptu capoeira performance which breaks out on the street... Now when I say “on the street” I really mean On. The. Street. The two guys performing are jumping, dodging weaving through the traffic and when the traffic lights were favourable they would tumble a line down the middle of the street. They concluded the performance by selecting a “lucky” “volunteer” from the gathered crowd, had her hold a rope above her head and did a flip over the top of it.

After our fair share of food and entertainment, we decide to wander the block down to the esplanade and see what is happening on the beach... If you have ever had a house party where too many people turned up, partied all day, all night, then wouldn't leave when you wanted them too, it looked like that... except I don't think your house party had 10,000 guests.

The place is basically a mess, I grab a beer from yet another street vendor. We find a cab and call it a night.

We're up and about a bit after nine and head down to stuff ourselves silly at the buffet. <insert munching sounds>

We leave the hotel with a vauge plan for the day of heading to Ipanema (obviously to see if we can find The Girl). After a brief tour of the Copacobana markets where we also meet my amigos from yesterday, we're in a Taxi off to Ipanema.

It looks a lot different in the morning... one could go as far as saying, even a little busy...



Rio travel tip #3: When you are trying to find a taxi, at night, on a busy street, your best hope is to be the whitest, most touristy looking white-guy possible. i.e. me.
However, when trying to find an umbrella on a crowded beach in 30+ degree heat, it's best to: Send in The Negotiator.

Unfortunatly, Samuel L Jackson was predisposed. Fortunatly, my negotiator knows her way around the beach, and in a few minutes we had umbrellas, chairs and beers coming out our ears.



I was a little taken back when the guy selling the beer asked me if I wanted a camisinha (google will translate the literal meaning of that for you), but I politly declinded... I was a little more surprised after we sat down and my guide asked for a camisinha for all of us.... Ok, lets get this party started... I was releaved and disapointed when I saw the vendor coming back with a handful of stubbie coolers.

The friendly neighbourhood beer vendors.



For those keeping track of my accounts, there were 3-5 of us drinking beers, softdrinks (soda/pop, whatever you call it) and coconuts from late morning to early evening and the bill came to $R91.

So anyway, Ipanema is a beach. Hot. Sunny. Sandy. Busy. Beach.

After tucking away a few beers and with the sun heating up, I decided it was time to take a dip in the yet unsighted water... Lets just say it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.



Brow (or dark shade of green depending on the angle it caught the light) and it smelt a little like my house that time I left a piece of bacon in the bin while on holidays for a week in summer.

Never the less, I only saw one (still) unidentified object drifting in the water and I sure as hell wasn't going to come to a beach someone worte a song about and not get wet... So I held my breath, closed my eyes and braved the worst Rio could throw at me... I survived... Although I'm not too sure about these little red spots I seem to have now...

The day moved one... beers were drank, sun was had, we had other men to see about other dogs and I needed to used the bathroom so we decided to head home. Fortunatly, I found a bathroom right beside the beach and after a quick pit-stop...



...we headed back to the hotel to ready for the party to come. Bring on Carnival!

After a quick shower, etc, we're in a taxi, back to meet our friends in Lapa. This time we took the pre-mobile-phone era approach of “we will meet at the pub between 8 and 8:30pm. If someone doesn't show before 8:30pm, we will go our own ways”. It worked, we arrive just after 8 and they had just sat down.

We decide that we are going to need some energy for the night to come and because we feel like something different, we order up a big platter of barbequed meat. This platter was quite impressive actually and a $R50 platter could not be finished by the four of us.

A few more beers and some cachaça experiments, a redbull for the road and we are primed. We walk the few blocks to Sambodromo.

I'm not quite sure what to do here... An event of such scale is never going to be sufficiently described by words that I can write and nor will my mediocre photos do it justice, but I'll just chuck a bunch of photos in here, and hopefully you get the idea.

























All these photos and more are here if you would care to peruse further.
http://s646.photobucket.com/albums/u...10/Sambodromo/

So, that was that. As I mentioned, personally, I can't pin-point a favorite act. Probably the thing that stayed with me most and really made me appreciated the significance of the event is the fact that so many of the samba schools involved come from some of the poorest areas of the country, yet they spend innumerable hours and dollars preparing for this every year. There is no doubt that those who have the least give the most for this event.

I really am going to make this one short and sweet. Given that we didn't make it home until sometime around 5am after Sambodromo, we had a bit of a late start to the day (missed our buffet breakfast!) and all in all it was a little un-eventful.

We went back to the Copacobana markets. I bought a sweet magic wallet for $R15. We went to the beach at Botafoga hoping to find something interesting but didn't . Although we did find a tiny juice bar there that did an awesome pineapple juice.

We took the metro back to Lapa. Had some beers with friends at a nice bar where they would only accept credit cards from foreigners.

Followed a Bloco ummm... down the block. Ate some chicken at a place that reminded me of Nandos.

Had a night-cap at the pub from last night, and went home somewhere around midnight.

So we've pretty much recovered from our Sambodromo revelries and it is our last day in Rio and we still have to make our way to Pão de Açucar to complete the tourist hat-trick. We chow down some break fast (they had waffles with chocolate this day!) and go find a cab. R$10 later and we are at the ticket box, buying our ride to the top of the mountain R$44 a piece.

A warning here: If you are claustrophobic, DO NOT go up this mountain. I'm sure these cable cars are not supposed to have 30 people crammed into them in the middle of summer in 36 degree heat... yet that was where we found ourselves.



On reaching the top of the first hill, we decided some re-hydration was in order (a shower would have been a better idea) and took a break to take in the view. If nothing else, Rio is certainly a picturesque city.





I don't know what it is... but Botafogo beach is always empty...





And then it was onto the next leg of the trip... an equally crowded cable car.



Again, I'm just going to let the pictures do the talking, you get the idea.



More pictures here for those who care.
http://s646.photobucket.com/albums/u...20de%20Acucar/
Once we got our fair share of scenery, we cable-car'd back down the hill, taxi back to Copacobana where we stopped for a little pizza and a quick beer...



Took in the sights and sounds of the bloco which decided to manifest outside our hotel while we were waiting for our driver...



Taxi. Airport. Pane. Home.

The End.

I'm a noobie editor... If possible, could a mod please modify my OP to include this table of contents at the very top. ty.

Day 0. Getting There.
Day 1. Part A. Corcovado.
Day 1. Part B. Maracana
Day 2. Part A. Ipanema
Day 2. Part B. Sambodromo
Day 3. Recovery.
Day 4. Pao de Acucar.

Lack of Brazilian booty photos is fail. Only kidding, nice trip report.

ha. ty. I expected that.

Also, yeah, I guess I'm happy to answer any questions if anyone has any. Although I'm leaving early in the morning for two weeks in Salvador and Porto Seguro and will probably be sans internet... so the reply might have to wait.

Also, I guess I've been in Brazil for the couple of months leading up to this too, so if anyone has any other questions, feel free to ask. although it looks like there are probably some better posters answer questions on the same topic in this forum atm.

Hi, nice post!!

Im Carioca, and im happy that u had fun...

to bad that Fluminense (my team) lost.. but we r still the best!

ps: botafogo beach is always empty because is poluted

ps2: i live in ipanema and go to the beach almost everyday... and during the carnaval its really crowed, and sadly dirty

Thanks.

I thought that about Botafogo. The only thing I liked there was a litte juice bar beside Casa&Video.

n1 Snitch. Excellent TR!!!

Rio is a really cool city, your photo's are really nice.

awesome tr snitch, que java coming in looking for hot booty

Nice TRs Snitch, photos are spectacular .. bumps south america up on my list of places to visit.

For anyone that's as ignorant as me: $R is not a special currency for the city, it's Brazillian Real, or about .62 AUD.

Thanks for the TR, pics are awesome!

Nice TR Snitchy

lol. this.

thanks for the props from others. glad you liked it.

right now im in salvador (typing on an eepc/slow hotel wireless is death), ive got a week here, ill see if i can come up with something interesting to write about

also, ty rogerm on the edt on op

also ldo!?!?!?!?!? i mean, didnt you read the forward?!?!?!

havent finished it yet, but so far very nice TR, thanks a lot!

nice TR snitch.

Looks like a pretty amazing trip.

And here comes his: "very nice tr, snitchy".

Oh and the thing about getting claustrophobic is actually good, it'll keep you from high anxiety.

And now over to 'Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl......'