Hello there,

24 me, 19 yr old gf , 3,5 yr relationship.

I'm done with my bachelors in March, she's done with school in July.

We only talked a little about travelling, mostly SEA, India, NZ and/or Aussie.
From time to time the argument about travelling popped up with convos like:
"Do we want the same? Where and how long do we want to go?"
She wants to take part in a social or environmental project, I got no ***** clue what I want.

Here's my Pros and Cons for travelling alone:

+

• Decide for myself and only myself - I used to be the guy that gives in, lets her decide what to do for weekends etc. since I enjoy basically everything.

• Afraid only to follow her

• Enjoy the independence & freedom

• More intensive experience

• Get to know myself

• Get to know my limits

• Can decide where to stay, what to do (Travel, Work, Poker) and how long I do it.

-

• Got someone to talk to all the time

• (Almost) never lonely (only a bad thing?)

•

I want to have the conversation about our future ASAP.
What's left to say is that she does not know what to do after travels, most likely university. But I guess part of the upcoming conversation should be: "Do you want to begin university life with me as your partner or would you rather be alone? Will we be moving together in the new town of university of choice?"

There's so much stuff in my head and I got no clue what to do. In the back of my head there's Barney Stinson talking about his freeway theory...

People I talked to asked me what's more important to me:
Keeping alive that relationship or having a unique experience, because travelling as two might simply feel like extended holiday instead of finding myself along the road.

Any input appreciated. Love.

You're really asking the travel forum if you should dump your girlfriend?

Basically I was curious if anyone has any experience with this scenario or knows anyone who had to make that decision. if it belongs in OOT or w/e feel free to delete or transfer.

Sorry, my head is not where it should be right now.

EDIT: Thought this was a question about planning a trip, so that's where I thought it would fit. If this is strictly about information about destinations I'm sorry².

As somebody whos traveled alot with a gf my advise is travel alone if you can. Enjoying countrys with the freedom to do whatever you want is way better. Taking a million photos of stupid buildings for facebook and instagram gets old. Hours of shopping that women never get bored of. Most importantly you have the option of meeting and banging local women and really enjoying the culture.

dated a 15 year old at 20 rofl

16* , no ragrets. I knew somebody was gonna comment on that tho.

The fact that you're asking the question is telling...

The only advice I would give is be honest with yourself and with her.

LOL, pure gold!

OP, do half-n-half, travel some by yourself, then meet up with her and travel together, or travel together first, then send her back and continue by yourself. Sounds like you want to experience the freedom (and fun) of traveling the world solo but also want to travel with the GF to have "the talk", etc. Do both!

dump GF, travel, re-connect after if you choose so. I am considering this route with an amazing GF!

Depends how long you're traveling and what kind of person you are.

Some activities can really only be done with at least one other person. Imagine being the only person on a gondola in Venice. It'd be ****ing creepy.

I don't think I could travel with the same person for a year unless I was married to her. But for short trips, it'll be nice to have somebody to talk to the whole time.

You're still young enough where statistically that relationship probably isn't working out anyway. So go alone. You save money. You meet new people to talk to. You aren't chained to the emotions of another human being.

You can always reconnect afterwards as was previously said.

While LK is right about the relationship probably not working out, it doesn't matter because this is a very short-term decision.

My friend went to Thailand for a month with his girlfriend of 6 years and had a blast. They broke up 2 years later and hate each other's guts but he still looks fondly upon that vacation because despite the fallout, he still had a great time with her when they were together.

It's really simple OP. If you want company, bring her. If not, don't. You don't necessarily have to do everything together just because you're traveling together.

Can confirm this. Talking from own experience (unfortunately)

I don't know how long you're going to travel but it seems like you're thinking of a longer period. If you go for say 6 months and decide to travel on your own you can probably say bye to your relationship at this age, unless you're really open-minded etc.
But be honest with yourself and don't expect her (or yourself) not to bang anyone else for 6 months while travelling.

Don't think anyone can answer the question for you tho, just decide what's more important to you. Doubting whether to stay in a relationship is almost never a good sign tho.

My GF and I had been together for 4 years when we went for a huge travel experience. For the first 3 months we we seperate, aside from a 1 week connection. Then we travelled together for about 10 months, have many great memories and had a great time, but at times we got sick of each other and nearly broke up, something that never happens during normal life. We travelled separately for most of the last 2 months of travels. Once we got back home, our relationship worked out well again. Long term travel as a couple can be quite straining if you are someone who thrives in a more independent lifestyle. We are somewhat unconventional though, this type of thing is hard to predict. You got into a long term relationship at what today is considered a very young age. Both types of travel can be amazing depending on what you're like, which honestly, at 24 years old, is something you might not really know that well about yourself yet.

Travel can put serious strain on a relationship. Long term travel even more so. Give it a shot but don't be surprised if it blows up.

I have had both sides of this question occur:

Side 1: When i graduated my then GF had 6 months left to graduate (teacher) our discussions were all about travelling and experiencing different countries. I took a job with the possibility of international consulting, with the plan for her to come stay with me when she graduated. My first contract was in China, she gradated and her whole mindset changed, she wanted to start her career, buy a house, get a FT job, needless to say i was in china, she stayed in Brisbane, end of relationship.

Think about this, as it may relate to your GF, she may graduate and want to go to college, like everyone else, peer pressure is a lot to handle especially straight out of high school.

Side 2: After doing a few gigs around china, US and Hong Kong i was moved to Toronto Canada, I then met a girl who was super independent, and was able to handle the constant moving countries and travel, and made her own decisions on whether she wanted to join or not, she had a stable career and had completed the initial life phase of settling in to a working rhythm, knew what she wanted and understood life more, needless to say I'm now married to said girl

Think about this scenario, if you are worried before you even leave the trip about yourself, how do you feel about taking your GF? you should be the independent one, who has settled down and understands life more..

TL/DR: I dont advocate leaving your GF, but if you are the older one and have reservations, this is not a good sign. Plus go to SEA bang bitches, then come back and settle down

Thanks to all of you giving your input and advice. Glad to see Travel Forum was the right one to choose for this kinda question.

I will wait until Christmas is done, then have a long talk with her.

As for "bang in SEA / around the world" - I don't post pictures (yet), but
a) I'm not really into Asians
b) having this hot redhead by my side I don't feel the necessity of banging a lot of other women

Period of travel can be anything between 6 months to several years.

I'm really thinking about starting this trip together and - if that's what we desire - going for separate routes and reunite at a later stage.
I 100% know that I will not feel comfortable letting her travel alone and that might ruin our relationship.

You can tell by now I really do not want this relationship to end.
I might be to emotional about it but advice like "Dump her & travel alone." is just damn hard for me - I'm being a sissy, meh.

Will definitely be the hardest decision of my life so far.

tbc - might start a travel blog in 2016.

Do you have any idea how long a year especially when you spend it entirely on the road? That's nearly one-third the duration of your current relationship. You guys are either gonna be blissfully in love or worst enemies by the end.

You sound less like a sissy and more like an insecure control freak based on the above. lol at "letting her" travel alone. She's a grown ass woman, and you are her bf, not her dad.

If you go traveling without her for any extended period, the relationship will end. If you go traveling with her for any extended period, the relationship may still end. Travel is tough on relationships. Asking her to wait for you while you go off on your own is super selfish. Especially when you are near 100% to bang other chicks whole traveling, no matter what you think that % is right now.

Enjoy what you have now, and what happens, happens.

I echo 100% of what Chop says above, as much as someone travelling solo can say 'I wont cheat' its inevitable, availability of cheap beer and SEA women is just game over, you may not have the Asian fever now, but after a month or two of holding out you will start to understand the thirst, fit women in tight skirts, shorts takes its toll.

The irony is that the majority if not all western women I have met struggle to find guys, or relationships when travelling or living as an expat, as a result its primarily fine for women to travel solo, hell they may get lucky with a random backpacker, but the probability of that compared to a solo guy travelling is minimal to non-existant.

If i was to tell my wife she couldn't travel solo, she would just laugh and go, she has done trips to Sri Lanka, India and looking at hitting up Vietnam solo for a week before i arrive. Do i get worried, sometimes, but its not like shes not independent and has survived 30years on this earth by pure luck.

I strongly suggest you get your **** together before you even remotely talk to this poor girl...

I've done both, here's my take:

I prefer the companionship of another person and not just sexually. Travelling is an amazing adventure, it's so filled with joy and experiences that are often once in a lifetime.

Back in university I took an African studies course for two months in North Africa. It was me, 15 other students and our professor. I had so many once in a lifetime experiences, like seeing a sand storm rolling in in the Sarah desert, standing in Roman ruins in Volubulius, walking through the old souks in Tangier etc. Several times, as I stood witnessing and partaking in these beautiful experiences, I wished I had someone to share the moment and experience with me.

I'm married now and it's nice to travel with people I love. Even just seeing my kids joy running into Legoland or laughing with my better half as we ditch the kids and open our drapes in the Venetian and look out to LV is so much more than if I was alone.!

PS. For shorter periods of time, it's good though. I went by myself for a five day poker trip to LV last summer. It was great, went where I wanted, didn't have to clock watch etc. same thing with the end of that African trip. I spent a week in London during that time I spent 2 full days in the British Museum. I love history and took tours, read every blurb, touched the Rosetta Stone (yes I was bad and reached over the rope lol). I never could have done this if I was traveling with someone else.

There are pros I've just outlined of traveling alone, but for me they're good for short term/me travel/break. For a long, once in a lifetime trip with many amazing experiences, take your girlfriend and share them together.

Lots of pluses and minuses on both sides.

One big minus of traveling with someone close is that when you are in countries that speak another language, you are less likely to try speaking that language because you have someone to talk with in yours. Sure, that's easier, but it significantly reduces the cool interactions you could have with locals if you were talking with them instead.

If you really love her then it's a no-brainer isn't it?

No pic of girlfriend?