I was diagnosed bipolar 3years ago when I went off the deep end and was hospitalized. I have tried 6different drugs and 4different therapist since then.
All of the therapist except the first can't see past how normal I act and get to working on the root causes, they only focus on immediate superficial fixes. And all of the meds have really messed with my sleep, weight, ability to do my job.
I have worked on my own thought processes and really honed in on bringing myself back to logical thought and I have made tremendous progress.
I'm working on gratitude and forgiveness now.
Now I just need a med to get to keep me from swinging so severely and so often, but that will let me keep my edge when I'm high. It's like my brain goes into super powers...(intense focus, fast thinking, learn things immediately, solve things fast) to complete ******ation where I can subtract basic numbers like part of my brain isn't working. I don't want to lose my smarts by taking a drug.

My understanding is psychiatric processes are still not understood very well at the mechanistic level, and hence the practice has little predictive power, and it is still more or less trial and error as far as finding a solution for psychiatric issues.

I am extremely skeptical that weekend gambling binges of the type you frequently describe are going to be a part of any real solution; but as a gambling addict myself I accept it is not something you probably have any control to stop anyways, even if you were inclined.

Maybe finding some semblance of normalcy and happiness and doing as right by our children as we can is as good as it gets for most of us, and our expectations really shouldn't be that high in the first place.

GL.

No offense mly, but if I were you I really wouldn't trust my own perception of any kind of superhuman mental abilities when manic. Subconsciously you're looking for excuses to keep swinging because the highs are enjoyable, using this rationalization that you're accomplishing amazing things in that state. (Ron Howard voice: You're not.)

Yeah I’m gonna go with this is 90% wrong.

Pudley,
Those other therapists might not have been thinking clearly because they were overwhelmed by lust like the cardiologist

Therapists can't help because you're too normal and they prescribe medications that take away your superpowers, so you're going to fix everything yourself by focusing real hard on being logical. Mmhmm. And this is you after tremendous progress, you say?

She made all the progress while she possessed the razor-sharp thinking gifted by one of her upswings, silly.

Pig headed is the word that comes up so much in my mind reading this thread

How has no previous physician not previously explained the pros and cons of lithium? Or did you learn something new from your research?

There are more than a handful of antidepressants that may be considered for MDD. But there’s one primary mood stabilizer that is the first line for bipolar - lithium. It’s incomprehensible to me that it wouldn’t have been strongly recommended to you in the past along with an explanation of why it’s considered the first line medication for bipolar.

And you need to stop romanticizing your mania. You don’t become a better person while manic. You make poor decisions and endanger yourself and your child.

Don't sleep on valproic acid

I pointed this out somewhere, I think in OOT, years ago that the reason bipolar I’s dont seek treatment is because they are addicted to the manias, this is one of those cases. I am positive if you dig back in those threads weve been through the exact same **** before. I mean, none of this makes any sense of course. But who can tell why or how? Is she being dishonest with doctors, with us, or is she totally convinced of all this? Who ****ing knows, i dont.

I have been hypomanic once before - it was extremely destructive. I went into details those years ago but they fell onto deaf ears then and they will now so I dont feel the need to repeat why.

When you are swinging, your perception of reality is not reality. You need to get that into your head.

Sure, it’s just that mood stabilizers are less common than antidepressants, so when there’s one that get used more than any other for bipolar (at least lithium was the most commonly prescribed when I took psychopharmacology - maybe it’s been supplanted by now but it would still be one of a few), it HAS to come up when discussing treating the disorder. Particularly with a client who has not been emotionally stable for years on no/inconsistent medication.

Like, it would literally be malpractice for a mood stabilizer to not have come up before now. It is unimaginable to me that mood stabilizers in general and lithium in particular (and a couple others like Depakote and Depakene) would not have been discussed with her ad nauseum.

Particularly as I think lithium is often used when mania is on the more common side for a patient. A lot of bipolar patients tend to have more depression than mania but she seems to be manic or hypomanic frequently enough (assuming honesty about symptoms) that she’d be on the more frequently manic side of the bipolar spectrum. It’s been a while tho, maybe I have some of the specifics mixed up. I also can’t recall if she ever specified the type of bipolar she has.

Bottom line, the fact that she just did some research on lithium and is now sold on trying it just seems...off to me without additional context. And her ideas about keeping her “manic edge” are flat out dangerous and incompatible with achieving stability.

I swear to god weve had this exact same discussion almost to the word before.

This has all happened before, and will happen again.

Hey Cit.

You might be conflating hypo-mania with mania. There is no question that manic episodes are a mental disorder.

Bi-polar is a synonym for psychosis. Mania is the worst of it. An untreated manic episode is VERY obvious and beyond destructive. More than just rapid speech and hyper activity, people fall so far into their thoughts they lose tremendous sight of what is real.

The rush MLY is addicted to is hypo-mania. I've been recommended The Hypomanic Edge as a crash course on the advantages of being hypo-manic. There are zero advantages to being full blown manic.

Not professionally. Maybe colloquially.

Bipolar individuals can certainly be psychotic but the terms aren’t used interchangeably. Bipolar is classified as a mood disorder, not a psychotic disorder.

jermakin I think there are already enough fake doctors making fake diagnoses in this thread bro

Thinking back, I don’t remember hearing at the time that MLY was actually diagnosed with bipolar by an actual doctor. I though bipolar came up as a suggestion from someone here and that she argued against it initially, and then at some point she just decided that she was bipolar.

This would also explain why no doctor has discussed lithium with her - none of them actually said she was bipolar.

Where’s Tyler when M could use a white knight?

gl M!

SGT,

From my understanding it is still the recommended treatment, but doctors do have some narrow leeway in USA#1 to "practice medicine". Regardless you basically unpacked what I was alluding to with Tuma. I find MLY's story completely fantastical and can't imagine that multiple treatments of drugs that are not lithium, along with the weird view MLY had previously of its usage would be in line with an actual bipolar diagnosis and treatment to that end.

Real head scratcher tbh.

The first doctor that went with bipolar was like doctor #5 and I'd been in treatment for 3.5 years. The same guy never pushed lithium until I was hospitalized 3 years later, and then he hilariously dumped me after I refused.

I'm doing fine enough without it, mania isn't really my thing so long I avoid heavy addy use coupled with extreme stress. I might not even have actual bipolar, my condition was onset by a traumatic brain event. I've been getting better using medical pot and neurontin.

I don't mean to attention whore, or be derisive, it's just very apparent how impossible it is for non mentally ill people to assess syndrome from a granular perspective. I also aim to support MLY even though she made fun of my dick size.

Tuma,

That sounds pretty much like I'd expect. They diagnose you with an illness, offer you frontline treatment (should be standard), and then move onto spending their time helping people who want to be helped when someone refuses.

I agree. The comedy was over how many thousand$ he'd accrued, and how bombastic he was.

Won't find any disagreement from me about that stuff.

Congrats on ultimately being able to manage your illness. I had major depression a couple times. Not super fun! Totally under control now and have not had an episode in ~8y.