It's a manic low. And like all of the others previously, this will pass too.

Cit,

My post is the concept that kept me from killing myself during tougher times. I was not being sarcastic.

I do not believe that anyone is advocating for her to not go to a mental health professional


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JFC this.

You clearly enjoy being like this.

Cit,
You speak as though going to a therapist is a quick and easy fix. First off, it's hard to get in anywhere let alone find a therapist that would work. You do just call and they get you right in, you might get in 2-3weeks later and then the person may be an idiot. Aaaarg, thinking about the ****ty therapist I've seen that were just taking my money is pissing me off right now. Oh, and how about psychiatrist don't take insurance in this area, I can't call and get an appointment, I have to go see a psychiatrist in Dallas(despite already have been under one there) and then get referred from them to get into one of the local ones where I will then have to pay cash....all several months down the line of course because they are booked for 3 months.
Now the addiction guy I was seeing before would actually be great for me right now and I may call him.
I'm not calling another ****ty/lazy therapist that says Im not bi-polar and just need to get away and has no interest in anything other than getting their payment for a session. It's seriously pissing me off to think about, don't bring it up again.

What would be great is if the insurance company wouldn't keep denying the meds I was prescribed for my nerve problems AND to treat bipolar!

Tuma,
Yes, it will pass. Thanks man.

lol, you love this MLY. You love to be in a crisis.

If you don't get a therapist, as has been encouraged for years, you are admitting that you love this insanity more than being healthy. Considering your daughter, it's crazy selfish to behave like this. Considering yourself, it's classic self destruction and sabotage.

Yep, started on the 1st. I'm gonna go to the pharmacy and see if it will be covered tomorrow. :Thumb:

So I got busy today and grilled a bit. Made some steaks and then prepped some chicken for the weekend.

1st marinade:
Garlic salt, red wine vinegar, worstechesire, Sherry cooking wine, some bbg seasoning

2nd marinade:
Garlic cloves, tomltillos, orange juice, pinapple juice, ginger, teriake liquid, salt, peeper, lime juice, honey.

yup. mlylt should at least attend a bipolar support group.

As far as bolded is concerned, that shouldn't be a problem. If these guys only take cash then, then pay them cash. What is there that is more important to spend money on? You are not poor, and while I'm sure spending that money will be painful, I'm sure could find a way to do it if you wanted to.

If these guys only take cash, how expensive is it exactly? How do their other patients afford it? It seems unlikely that there are a bunch of uber wealthy socialites in your East Texas town that have all kinds of disposable income to spend on psychiatrists. And these people can't really stay in business if they charge more than their patient population can afford.

Obviously, exhaust all other avenues first, including what you can get through your new insurance plan. But if you've got no other option than paying cash for a psychiatrist, then do that. Yeah, it's going to be expensive, but important things often are.

You, like most people, are not good at determining your own diagnoses and treatment plans. Given that you have a mental illness, this is even more true.

Given that you have an education in engineering, would you say that someone who had an engineering problem and exactly zero education in engineering would be best served by 1) hiring and then just doing what an engineer said to do, or 2) any other option?

That it is expensive, difficult, inconvenient, unpleasant, etc. doesn't matter. The most incompetent mental health professional in the entire world who charges $1000/hour and who is a 3 hour drive (each way) is a better choice than not seeking treatment. Engineers don't make poor choices as a rule, correct?

6/10, not bad.

Brian,
Engineering is waaaay different than mental health science. Mental health is different than any other medical field where the knowledge to be learned through education just isn't there yet and even learning through observation is difficult.
I'm more than willing to take whatever meds have been trialed for bipolar and have taken many of them, but going to speak with someone who offers no tools or help with me to cope or to find/resolve root causes is just a waste of time and money.
I found an addiction councilor I liked that actually tried to offer ways to help. Can't remember why I ended up going to an addiction specialist but I'm sure it was that no one else was available. I will probably get back in contact with him.

And, for anyone to come in here and say that I like being in caus or whatever because I don't go to a therapist are complete moronic jerks and need to stay out of my log. No one with a mental disorder wants to have one or be in a constant state of changing mental states and moods. A therapist is not going to cure bipolar, even meds won't cure it.


I want to bring this log back to physical fitness,healthy eating, and satying smoke free. All the things I can control and that will have positive impacts on my mental and physical health.

This is true, but not at all relevant. It is actually a reason to not even consider an attempt at going it alone rather than seeking professional help.

Even a highly incompetent, angry, horrible, expensive, lazy, mean, smelly, unkempt and otherwise dislikable mental health professional whose office is on the wrong side of town is going to be more knowledgeable and useful for the diagnosis and treatment of mental health issues than a person with no training in mental health issues trying to self-diagnose and self-cope with their mental health issues.

Here is the thing: If you could deal with your mental health issues on your own, you would already have done so. Being uncomfortable is pretty motivating.

FWIW, I was a psychologist a long time ago. It wasn't much fun.

Huh, you want to bring this log BACK to physical fitness and healthy eating?

Yep. Had some of the grilled chicken for breakfast. Mmmmm, that tomatillo sauce!

I only ate one chicken leg.
Has anyone else noticed that the big packs of chicken at Walmart always turn out rubbery?

Not maintaining regular (mental health) treatment/counseling is the most egregious error in this log. And that's saying something, given everything else that occurs in here.

That you want to argue otherwise is mind blowing.

Gorilla,

I'm going to see if my new insurance (same insurance company lol) will approve the script from my neurologist....if it's still active.
I'm also going to to get in contact with the addiction specialist that I saw before. I liked the way he was just so straight forward, no bull****. What I have learned this past week is that I am an addict and thank God it wasn't to alcohol or heavy drugs.

Things that affect mental health: horomones/neurotransmitters/ chemical balance/physical damage in the brain:
Additive drugs--NICOTINE!, Alcohol, nutrition, lack of exercise, brain damage.

I can't do anything about the brain and nerve damage, but I can do something about the rest.

I'm crazy and I might post something crazy here again when I'm manic, but I'd really like to focus on my diet and exercise here.

I agree that mental health and engineering are very different fields.

I disagree that any therapist, even a bad or incompetent one, is better than nothing. Bad therapists can and have exacerbated depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation.

But you know what the gold standard of treatment for mood disorders, including bipolar disorder, has been in multiple clinical studies and meta-analyses? Therapy and medication combined. Either one separately tends to be better than nothing, but the combination produces the most efficacious results.

I doubt your self reported history of how bad and terrible multiple therapists have been, or that there is just zero way to get ahold of medications that any medical professional would know are the first line for stabilizing bipolar patients. I have said in your other threads bipolar is broadly recognized as the most debilitating mood disorder. That you treat it so casually is appalling.

Wat. I quit with minimal effort.

Didn't log though, so no heroics i guess!

Mlylt,

Agree with RJ's post above. You need medication and psychotherapy. A psychiatrist can give you both. Treating bipolar disorder should be completely routine for them. It is a very common condition. A psychiatrist will have seen countless cases in training and even more in practice. Just find one and see them. If insurance won't pay, then just pay for it.

Cit,

I know you're right.

It happens occasionally.

It's part of the cycle of MLYLT.

RJ,
I'm really tired, had some rum, and honestly dont know how to express how I feel about your last comment. But I have the general feeling of "how dare you come into my log and say anything about my mental disorder that's inside of my head and try to pass judgment on me." What's appalling is you and a bunch of other quaks making generalized statements on what's debilitating or not when ya ain't got a ****ing clue what's going on in ppls heads without actually experiencing it.
Now if someone could dope you up where you could take a few mood swings and know what it's like, then you could come talk about what's appalling or not.

You know, I read a lot of things and studied my ass off in school, but I didn't know **** until after I worked for a while and experienced things/applied concepts first hand.
Your comments in my threads very much come off as someone very green, no real experience, no real idea, someone who thinks they know everything and is far from the crucial milestone of realizing they know nothing.

Cool. You should still see a therapist.

You're quite naive to think no one posting ITT or on this forum in general hasn't had their fair share of mental health issues.

Like jmakin was pretty clear about his struggles which are similar to what you are experience and you still don't listen to him.

The real issue is you don't want to hear what anyone else has to say unless you agree with it. RJ is 100% right and you are 100% wrong. You DGAF about actually getting better (you want attention) and if I were someone close to you, I'd legit be mad about you not caring enough.

Also, since you aren't a therapist or psychiatrist not only haven't you actually studied anything related to the mind, but you haven't experience or applied concepts first hand. I don't even know what you are trying to convey with those last few sentences. What a bazaar way to end your post.