Get back to me when you have kids. That's some real draining. Not all bad, just not a lot left in the tank for H&F. Maybe there are some Montecore types that can pull it off, but definitely not me.

Crossfit

Metcon
For time: (14 minute cap)
40-30-20-10
Push Ups
Calorie Row

10:45 - 400/300/200/100 run

Accessories
Lying DB Pull-over on Bench: 15x10x2, 17.5x10x2
Elevated Heel Goblet Squat: 32x10x4 (paused last 2 sets)

-----------------------------------

RHR continues to be through the roof. Tennis elbow showed up during my first set of push-ups. It's a bit deflating after deloading a couple of weeks ago, but we keep grinding. I signed up for a team competition this weekend called Battle Cancer. It is not competitive and is more of an all inclusive, fun, day. I've got a good group of 4 guys, and I'll just try and take it easy before then and train hard again afterwards.

Sorry to hear that you're going through something hard. I think the most important thing in these scenarios is to be self-aware of how these things affect you. It is so easy to let the emotional stuff take over and our logical side goes away. You sound like you're in control though and I'm happy to hear that! Looking back, I didn't realize how much it all affected me and it's been a huge learning experience in many different ways.

I could use a girlfriend who will weigh out my ice cream and put me in my place if I eat more.

I don't want kids. It's a hard no from me. One improvement I've seen in the dating apps when compared to 5 years ago is that it's matching me only with girls who don't want kids.

not sure how old your kids are, but it does get better/easier. Little kids is a large volume of relatively fixable issues and significant time commitments. Older kids is a far lower volume of more complex and less easy to fix issues and fewer time commitments.

also think the wife management part gets easier as the kids get older too, because the missus has more time for herself, she's generally happier with her fella taking more time away too.

when we were really in the trenches with our kids (we had 3 in 4 years), the only way I could train was very early am. I used to wake at 5.15 and go to the gym then. Definitely not conducive to high level performance, but enough to get things done with the minimal disruption to family and work life. And given we never did anything in the evenings, it was fine to go to bed at 9.15 anyway

sadly, I'm not in control at all (wife has developed a significant issue with alcohol that affects me/the family but I really can't do anything about). but to the first point, I am aware and that at least means I can do the best job of looking after myself

Just be a worse father and you'll be able to fit it in.

Arjun,

Not looking for an answer or justification, but people that don't want kids mystify me - probably more than a little nature and nurture in our respective opinions, but I just don't get not wanting a family. Maybe I'm just a pollyanna about it.

Sorry to hear that - if you ever need to chat or unload, drop me a line. We went through something like that with my wife's little brother a while back, and it was a huge stressor on everyone. Balancing taking care of yourself and the kids with trying to support your wife must be rough.

Gotta be careful with the crossfit relationship, imo. I don't have a huge sample size, but I feel like a huge percentage of these end with one of the parties cheating with someone else at the crossfit gym. I've heard that story a lot.

I'm not exactly great as is. Not sure how much lower I can go.

introducing gymnastics to take it from a couplet to a triplet?

thanks and yeah, it's not fun. you realise when you're dealing with someone with an addiction that there's really nothing you can do if they don't want to change. If someone wants to buy booze in our society, they can always find a way.

she's doing a lot better...recognises she has an issue, is now using the A word and going to meetings and trying very hard to cut it out. but it's not linear and success isn't guaranteed and the toughest thing is knowing that if she can't get on top of it, then it's a nuclear bomb detonating on my life and ****ing up plans for the future etc, because I'm not gonna live with someone with a drink problem for the rest of my life.

Crossfit

Metcon
5 rounds for time: (18 minute cap)
20 Alternating V-Ups (each)
* Partner Hold Plank while other is doing V-ups
15 Synchro Burpee Box Jump Overs (24/20)

13:35

Gymnastics
6 minute EMOM: 2 ring muscle ups per minute

----------------------------------

Had a partner similar to me and it was pretty fun. Muscle ups felt good.


What Monte said. If you feel like you need to talk/message someone who is completely separated from you - hit me up.

I don't want to say too much because it is pretty easy to find me on here, but I went through something in my relationship that I think is more common than people realize and is stigmatized quite a lot. I went through it in relative silence, which was my mistake.

It's a combination of things. I like not giving up a lot of my freedom and flexibility. I like dogs more than babies. And I just don't have the "thing" in me that wants the whole picture perfect family. It's a lot more common these days than you would think.

Yeah I'm not saying I don't understand people like you/that exist - I obviously understand and have encountered many of them. It was more a comment that I just don't grok it on an instinctual level. With that said, people that don't want kids obviously shouldn't have kids, so mazel tov on that.

Crossfit - Open Gym

Strength
Front Squat: 70x10, 80x8, 90x6, 97.5x4, 105x2

Metcon
For time:
15 Bench Press, 60kg
2000m row
15 Bench Press, 60kg
2000m row
15 Bench Press, 60kg

21:57 - easy pace

------------------------------------

I wanted to squat, bench, and do some easy cardio and this is what I came up with. I quite enjoyed it. Bench presses were 9+6 for 2 rounds and unbroken for the last! The row was around 2:13.

whatever that was for you and it doesn't sound pleasant, the good news is that it's in the rear view now and I'm not surprised you're feeling liberated now.

I spent 18 months in an incredibly debilitating relationship with a girl who was truly ****ing nuts. Major daddy issues, emotionally manipulative and a total ****ing mess. Probably undiagnosed bipolar tbh but IANAD. But she also looked like peak Elizabeth Hurley and worked with me and I couldn't shake her. Moved to Australia to get away from her and the relief I felt afterwards was incredible.

A big +1 to that; glad you're in a better place.

Good Lord, having to move to upsidedownland to get away is hard to comprehend. Where specifically on the hot/crazy matrix was she? Feel free to post the graph.

Can I get her number from you

she was at least a 9 on any scale looks wise and definitely a 9 on the crazy scale. As above, just like peak mid 90s Liz Hurley. a true sack artist too and looked at me every day as if I was the only person in her world. Would tell me each day that she wanted to marry me, only I could make her happy etc etc. But prone to huge mood swings, totally irrational, very good at laying blame putting on guilt because.....if you're the only person in her world then of course if she was upset or sad it was your fault etc. I was trying to finish with her from maybe 2 months in but couldn't do it. And we worked in the same place so even if I tried, she'd be there every day and putting guilt on me. (and offering to **** me in meeting rooms etc etc which....can be quite persuasive!)

she's back in Australia now (I came here originally because her issues with her parents were so bad it was the only place she told me she wouldn't follow me too) and I know she's divorced because 1. she sat next to my parents on a plane a few years back and 2. she's hit me up for a coffee a few times.

so...get your mick behind over to Sydney and I'm sure we can work it out

(sorry for thread derail Arujun)

If peak Liz Hurley is accurate, I'm not sure you had any choice. Especially with that skill set. It was a mistake that you had to make. Maybe not even an actual mistake.

Battle Cancer

Super fun day. 4 person teams. 4 workouts, 9 minutes each. Short and intense. No barbells. Simple movements. I am exhausted now and maybe deaf from listening to music all day.

Crossfit

Metcon
5 rounds for time: (30 minute cap)
21 Calorie Row
15 Pull-ups
9 Strict Handstand Push Ups
-rest 1:1 between sets-

28:10 - rounds started at 2:40 and ended at 3:45

------------------------------------

My lower back is wrecked from Sunday. There was just SO many DB/KB squats/deadlifts/hinging. I also might be coming down with something, but I'm keeping it at bay.

I was so, so, so, happy to finish this Rx. Only one other person so far has done that and I doubt many other people will. Pull-ups were in 3 sets to 5 or 6 in the end with flailing. Strict HSPU were actually really easy and in 2 sets, except for the last round which was 5+2+2. The limiter was the cardio from the row and pull-ups, especially with me hiding a cold.

I figured out my stomach can't handle prawns, which I was eating everyday. I've eliminated that and dairy, and thing seem to be good.

Feel and Monte - thanks for the support. Feel, what you experienced is IDENTICAL to what I experienced. I feel like I got a mini psychology degree at the end of it. I will message you.

On a positive note, dating is so fun and going really well. The matches I'm getting now are so much better than 5 years ago. I looked at my pictures from back then, and that's when I gave myself a little pat on the back for grinding away at exercising. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of long term progress.

Crossfit

Metcon
For time: (15 minute cap)
Teams of 2
50 Synchro Toes to Bar
50 Power Cleans (70/48kg)
50 Synchro Toes to Bar

14:00 - 60kg

Accessories
DB Good Morning: 15x10x4
Seated Arnold Press: 12.5x10, 15x10x2, 12.5x10

-----------------------------------

My resting heart rate is still pretty high, but I'm feeling better and getting over this cold. First set of 50 toes to bar were in 3:10 and quite easy! 9 sets of 5 and 5 singles. We did 25 power clean singles each and that took 5:00. The last set of toes to bar took 5:50 and were 6 sets of 3 and then 32 singles! Brutal.

Crossfit

Metcon
For time: (18 minute cap)
1000m Run
75 Thrusters (20/15kg)
25 Burpee Box Jump Overs (24/20)

11:36

Gymnastics
7 minute EMOM: 2 ring muscle ups per minute

---------------------------------

Another fun day. I gave it close to everything in the metcon. The run was in 4:44, thursters in 4:36, and BBJO in 2:16. I still have a lingering cold, so I was wiped out afterwards. RMU EMOM was easy enough.

Sunday is the end of the 2 weeks of no barbells between Mayhem cycles and we start a strength cycle on Monday! I am excited.