But to be honest, I have far more right to claim Canelo fanboy #1 status than loco

You wake up to 23 text messages waiting to be answered on your phone. Check your email/facebook/twitter and have 295 likes on that new selfie you took of yourself. You want more attention though, so you shower up, put some clothes on, put on the makeup to go from a 5/10 to an 8/10, and snap a quick selfie of yourself that you quickly upload to facebook. Maybe this one will get you even more likes.

You drive to work in the $18k car your Dad bought you for your first car. Before you get out you take a quick snapchat of you making a funny sad face captioned 'work '. Got to keep the fans happy you laugh to yourself. As you walk from your parking spot to work, you pass a worksite with several tradesmen. They all stare at you as you pass. It's already getting to be a hot day, and most of them are sweating and dirty. Gross! You ignore them. Your Dad has been a tradie for most of his life, and he still only earns 50k a year.

You stop to get your usual morning coffee on the way. The good-looking boy serves you and tries chatting you up again. He's attractive, but he looks the same age or a year younger than yourself. Too young. You know he's going to ask you out one day, but you'll probably end up rejecting him. You don't mind the attention though.

Several men stare at your cleavage showing from your low-cut top as you resume your walk. Pigs. You enter your 60k per year office job which you got immediately after dropping out from college from bad grades due to spending the whole 2 years partying. You notice it's a little cold. You remember reading something about air conditioning being sexist and how the temperature is adjusted for men. Typical. You greet all of your coworkers: Rach 23, Jess 19, Sarah 31, Ally 29, Melissa 22, Hayley 26, Samantha 21, Simon 35 (unattractive), and your boss David 58. Of course the boss is a male. Men get all the good jobs! But that would change. We're fighting for equality. You remember Ally telling you that David's wife had divorced him several years ago and took most of his savings. Good on her, you think to yourself.

You ask David to adjust the air con temperature and he immediately does so. You grab a bagel from the desk to have with your coffee and quickly scan the bullet points of tasks for the day. Jess and Melissa have to tell you about the snapchats they saw last night, however, so you don't start working until 9:30. You do 15 minutes of data entry and then go back to chatting with the girls for 15 minutes. You have to make a phone call which takes 5 minutes before Sarah has to tell you about the guy she's seeing. She can be so conceited sometimes, but it's better than working. It's 10:30 and you swivel your chair back to the computer. The next bullet point totally does not make sense so you ask Simon to come over and show you. You let him have your chair whilst you sit behind him and pretend you're listening as he does your work for you. Before you know it's lunch time and you go out with the girls for a bite.

Around 2pm your boss comes and jokingly asks if you girls are doing any work. You laugh and tell him it's just the afternoon drag and smile sexily at him. You spend the rest of the work day chatting and playing on your phone. Your selfie from this morning now has 322 likes. You have several text messages inviting you out tonight. So far you're invited to 3 parties and 4 pre drinks. You go on Facebook and see an article about refugees. You share it and say how hard it is for them and that we all just need to coexist. You get 88 likes and 9 comments all agreeing with you and telling you that you're a good person.

After work you head to the gym and do 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill. You notice all of the usual gym junkies staring at you from the weights section. Some of them are pretty hot, but you have to make it a challenge, so you put your headphones in. You take a selfie before finishing up, caption it 'fall in love with taking care of yourself #trainhard' then head off to the water cooler. One of the hot guys tries to make conversation with you. He's 6'3 and perfectly muscled, but he has a freckle below his eye that annoys you. You politely make it clear that you're not interested.

You already have several likes on your newest selfie and 8 comments telling you how good it is that you work hard and keep fit. You've now been invited to 6 parties. You text your 4 besties and organise the night. You get home and say hi to mum and dad and ignore your older brother. He's 24 and still living at home. He always got good grades, worked out, got a degree in BioMed or something like that. Now he just sits at home cause he can't find a job. Maybe if he showed some ambition like you did. You dropped out but got a job straight away because they noticed how well you presented yourself and how smart you really are. He was always mum's favourite though. She could be such a selfish ***** sometimes.

You tell your mum that you're going out and suggest that you might need some money for it because you're still paying off your student loans. She gives you $50 even though she doesn't make any money herself and they get by on Dad's 50k per year. You say thank you, even though you know you don't really need it because you never pay for drinks. You deserve it for shopping. Maybe mum should've been nicer all those years.

You head to your besties house and then quickly organise which party to go to. You need a lift though so you text one of your male friends to come get you. You get ready with the girls and take fifty selfies and a dozen snapchats together. As you're waiting to get picked up you show each other your tinder chats. You show the girls the one of the guy saying 'i've had a crush on you for years.' All the girls laugh hilariously. Like, why do these guys even bother?

As soon as you get to the party the guys come to greet you all and start giving you drinks. You don't really plan on staying though because the girls decided to have a girls night clubbing. You make sure to keep the male friend around so that he can drive you there.

After 4 ridiculously hot guys ask for your number and one of them sneaks a kiss from you, you abandon the party and head off to the clubs. The bouncers smile at you and let you all pass. They stop the male friend and demand a $10 entry free. The girls leave the male friend behind and go to the dance section. Everyone gets their phones out and turns on snapchat and you start making funny faces to each others cameras as you're dancing to the new remix beat of girls just wanna have fun. You can't stop laughing at Stacey's silly face. This is great!

After dancing you go out for a smoke and an 8/10 guy approaches you. He seems nervous. Some guys can be so pathetic. You spot Chad who you've ****ed before and make eye contact and wait. He comes over to chat. The hot guy you kissed at the party is still texting you but you stop replying. You make plans to go home with Chad. You ask him how often he works out and what he does and he says he just does machines 3 times a week and eats whatever he wants. Yet he looks literally perfect. You remember your brother telling you how he does all these weird olympic sets and has a perfect diet, yet he still looks average. You laugh to yourself. He must be doing something wrong. He obviously doesn't work out hard like you or Chad does.

After a night of good sex you wake up to Stacey asking you to go beach and shopping for the day, mum asking you to come to lunch, Aiden asking you to come to the theme park for a date, and Sarah asking you to come on a wine tour. It's only 9am. Chad makes you breakfast and you text Stacey back. Today is going to be a good day!