JW,

Do you (also your friends/your family) go to church?

My family is very religious and conservative. I'm religious and conservative but both to lesser degrees (don't make it to church every week, not as right wing on some issues).

pretty legit good call imo.

JW,

The reason people think you are boring is because:

"I like people that are like me and have my interests."
"I'm not into plays, art, or music. I like sports and drinking."

FWIW, I agree w/ pretty much everything Lucid (echoed by some others) has written in recent posts.

You do realize I know maybe 50 people (high school, college, NYC) that are all like me in this regard (whether you choose to believe that or not) and they get really hot girls and most keep them.

Why is that, then? They are more "bro" than I am.

J,

I dunno, they are better looking, smarter, more confident, better in bed, bigger dicks, funnier, taller, better shape, richer, cooler, better style, who knows? Tons of possible reasons. And I'm happy to believe that they're boring and close-minded as well. It's certainly no challenge to find losers with hot girlfriends.

I imagine this to be what "bro" means. haha.

Yeah your group seems clicky. I find those people irritating to hang out with. Its like there are levels of cool in the group or something which is just annoying. Just my experience, no idea what your friends are like.

Your talk about foreign chicks is ridiuclous obviously. I can't even comprehend the "give other people ammunition" comment. I don't think I've had that kind of thought in years, and anyone I hung out with that gave me that feeling I wouldn't like very much. I'm weird though, I just find the people that are very easy to be friends with and be friends with them. It works amazingly well. A lot of people attempt to do the opposite because it seems harder/like a bigger accomplishment if you do get in.

Give ammunition meaning (and this is totally hypothetical because I don't see this happening) that I bring this girl out with my guy and girl friends.

We have 5 guys with relatively hot girls. We have me with this girl. 12 people. 11 are similar and then this girl, whose English is her 2nd language.

It would just be uncomfortable. She would have a hard time fitting in with what we do. And I'd likely get some flack for it. Or I'd feel uncomfortable on forcing her where I wouldn't have fun.

It's not all that different from when I was dating the one girl I mentioned (about a year ago), and she liked me. She brought her ugly friends around and it was weird. They wanted to try and hook up with my single friends who had no interest. It was the main reason I stopped hanging out with her. I need all outside factors to align.

That's why I have been shaken up with 2 of the girls that have gotten away. They handled themselves well in social settings and provided value in all other areas. They fit.

I admit maybe the more I've layed things out I am picky. I once got rid of a girl because I didn't like her fashion sense/style. But basically if I'm going to adjust my life and bring somebody into mine I don't want any complications at all.

I'd like to pose a question that I'd like El Diablo, lucid, dcrif, nit, and MrGrumpy to answer since they've all chimed in today. Anybody else is free to, as well.

If you got a text from this girl (like I did) filled with poor grammar what would your reaction to that be?

Because people in this forum discussed how bad texters is a dealbreaker (I forget who, but I can likely find and quote it in the other thread).

I'm just totally turned off by it yet I am getting criticized it seems.

Knowing that English is her 2nd language, I'd give her a bit of leeway. Sometimes they type English poorly, but speak it fine or vice versa. Obviously if communicating with her in person was problematic b/c her English was so subpar, then that's probably a dealbreaker. But I wouldn't really care if she sucked at texting English if we communicated just fine in person.

Giving leeway doesn't sound like a positive sign right up front. I don't have to give leeway with any American girls. She's immediately in catch up mode, right?

theres a big difference between an american who texts "hey wat r u up 2 2nite?" vs a non-native english speaker who doesnt know the language like the back of her hand.

also, clearly youre group of friends is way different than most normal groups of friends, but if a guy in my group started dating a non-american or even a very unique american i would be much more intrigued and would go out of my way to get to know her as opposed to most run-of-the-mill girlfriends (you say all your friends are dating dime pieces, who gives a f*ck? youre not f*cking them, your friends are).

No b/c I'm actually interested in people from different cultures so if anything she's already started ahead of the average American I'd date and the not being able to text well thing brings her back to the pack slightly.

I'd say this is pretty standard. If my friend started dating a Spanish girl I'd be going out of my way to make her feel more comfortable in the group and learn more about her background.

Also, JWhitt asked a couple posts above if it makes him boring that he'd rather discuss pop culture instead of her life in Spain, and I'd say yes, it makes you very boring that you'd rather discuss Jersey Shore for the 15th time or how Jeremy Lin did last game than her life in Spain.

I wouldn't mind the fact that her texts aren't perfect considering my texts in her native language would be horrendous. Sorry but I don't look down on people who are currently achieving more than me which would be any girl that speaks a 2nd language.

This thread is like an addictive drug but I really feel like I should stop posting here. Jwhitt is clearly beyond helpless at this point and nothing any of say to him will help him with dating or life. He seems determined to suck at life and imo is on the perfect path to continue doing so.

All,

I know it's fun to condescend to JWhitt, but you're giving him really bad advice in this case. We get it, he's not very cultured and that's fun to make fun of.

He's not a worldly dude, has simple tastes and has no ambition to change any of those things. Not sharing the same native language is a huge hurdle even among the globetrotting set; it's perfectly reasonable for JWhitt to see this as a dealbreaker.

Beyond this particular lolfest, everyone seems to be trying to fit JWhitt's square peg in a bunch of round holes. He's got pretty clear (and hilarious) ambitions with dating, and a lot of you seem to be ignoring these and trying to teach him to like the girls you like. Why?

Do you really think that JWhitt would make a lot of the hypothetical cosmopolitan women that are discussed in this thread happy? Do you think he would be happy? I certainly don't. Y'all are projecting like some mother****ers.

JWhitt,

Forgive me if this has been discussed, but where did you go to college?

He keeps complaining that the girls in his area are too cosmopolitan and it's been suggested numerous times that he move to a region with women more compatible to his tastes, but he refuses. So now we're left with trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

More interesting question:

I think I'm a pretty worldly guy. I like other cultures. I travel frequently. I speak a few other languages enough to get around. But I too would consider the lack of a shared fluent language to be a huge hurdle to a serious relationship. None of you feel the same?

There are plenty of not very cosmopolitan women in the New York area.

I would rather date a "run of the mill girlfriend." Honestly I'm just looking for a normal, cute, smaller (5'1 to 5'4), somewhat shy, "nice", American girl with a normal job. There doesn't appear to be many of them single in NYC.

Wheeeeeeeeeee! True story: A good friend of mine who lives in NYC literally just broke up with a girl for being all of those things. So there's one. She lives on the UES IIRC. GL!

I went to a Northeastern liberal arts college (less than 3k students). Srong academically, 90% white I'd say, expensive.

Are we talking Amherst, Bowdoin, Bates, Conn College, or worse?

I rest my case.

I'm not moving in hopes of finding a girlfriend. I have a good job, a great apartment, friends, and other things going on in NYC.

Where would you advise moving? I don't want to move where I have no friends, family, or idea where to go.

For me that would be even harder to get girls.