Hey you online grinders, listen up: there's a tremendously profitable resource to be mined, and you're missing out!
In This Issue:- Online Is From Colombia, Home Is From Humboldt
- What to Expect: Games & Stakes
- Finding Games & Getting Invited Back
- Etiquette & Mechanics: Help, Don't Hinder
- Shuffling & Dealing: Everybody's Least Favorite Part
- Variance The Hard Way: Ultra Long-Term
- Networking: The Art Of Talking To Real Live Humans
- Hosting Your Own Game
We all know the many benefits of online poker. If you're beating it, you're a good player. But your entire player base is getting better right along with you. Your skills are improving at a faster pace than your edge. This is good for training, but not ideal business.
Home games are populated with weak players, throwing around more dollars than sense. But many online players have difficulty making the transition. While they soar above the competition in some areas, they're lost and confused in others, often leave the games frustrated and broke while cursing that they can't win because the players are so bad.
Balderdash.
You know the math, strategy, and tactics. Online has trained you. But poker is also game of psychology and situational advantage. You need to process a hand based on that specific player in that specific situation. It's more than odds, patterns, and stats: it's the emotional state, the type of conversation, the environmental factors, the tone of voice, the posture, the twitches and tics, the history of the day (or week or month or year), and a whole lot more. This cannot be learned online. Read about it all you like, but until you jump in there and earn the experience, you'll have no idea how to process the bevy of information. We all have dreams of winning the big ones. This cannot happen without developing your entire game.
The benefits of playing home games are numerous, and can help shape you into a better player, able to tackle more games at higher stakes, with a higher rate of return. All it takes is a little awareness and adjustment. Besides, it's fun!
With tongue planted firmly in cheek, we continue...
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ONLINE IS FROM COLOMBIA, HOME IS FROM HUMBOLDT
Online poker is cocaine.
At first it was a fashionable party and everybody was invited. Club owners gave it away like candy. Those who jumped in were the life of the scene. Everybody had plenty, nobody got hurt.
Eventually the weekend warriors realized they had to get up for work in the morning, but enough had the itch to keep the party going. The initial high was gone, so we re-upped with 8-balls and multi-tabling. There were enough casual party-goers to keep it fun and chip in for the supply, but it became more difficult to look people in the eye.
Then came the late-night back-alley life-threatening cluster-f*ck in the form of UIEGA. We talked the gun out of its hand, but the damage had been done: all but the addicts were scared away. No more high-profile benders with the in-crowd, now we were free-basing behind the 7-11.
That still wasn't enough. We needed more and more, to get less and less. So we boiled it down to the crack of Rush Poker. And ooh, was it a thrill! Everybody was talking about it, everybody was hooked. Poker was fresh and exciting again. That new high lasted about a week before we started collapsing in gutters, shivering.
The addicts will tell you they're in control, they know how to beat this thing. Those who were there from the start are chasing the dragon of that long-ago peak, and the rest are enthralled and seduced by the stories of the way things used to be. But are we really fooling anybody, other than ourselves?
So cold. So very very cold.
Enter the home game: the laid back stoner frat party.
It's nice and warm and inviting and something's always going on. Most of the people don't care about joining full-time, so they're not learning what it takes to be a leader. They just want to show up, unwind, have a good time for a while, and go home. Beer flows easily, and there's always money for the next keg.
Sure, every now and again someone dies from alcohol poisoning, or a hazing ritual gets out of control and the school board shuts it down. But the supplies are cheap and easy to get, and there's always somewhere else to go. People who party like this aren't doing it for the substance, they're doing it for the socialization. They just want to flirt and have fun. Every week. Forever.
The best part? Nobody is judgmental if you get that cute co-ed drunk and violate her twelve ways from Sunday. Quite the contrary, it's condoned and encouraged. Take photos and send them to her parents. Some people wake up the next morning with blood stains in their underwear, but they don't report it or press charges: they come back for more. They know they want it. They're asking for it. They're all asking for it.
...
WHAT TO EXPECT: GAMES & STAKES
Erase from your vocabulary the following: numbers with the suffix "NL".
100BB poker is an online phenomenon. Live games are referred to by the blinds, and the buyins vary widely. Some games limit to 20 or 40 BBs per buyin, no matter how much is on the table. Others have a wider range or allow you to match the largest stack. Still others are uncapped. At the lowest stakes, tournaments are incredibly popular, with some running two or three turbos a night. They're attractive to casual players, as they're fixed risk. These people don't see poker as a way to make money, they see the buyin as the cost of having a fun night out.
For cash games, NLHE dominates, but there are plenty of other games around, especially with groups that have been playing for longer than a few years. The stakes vary widely, and their availability will be shaped by the level you're able to play, but the easiest types of games to find tend to range from 25/50˘ to $1/2. These are games everybody is comfortable playing, regardless of income level, but don't be surprised to see people buying in for $20 at 1/2 or $100 at .25/.50. These players think in terms of dollars, not BBs.
Before you become frustrated by or critical of structures that seem absurdly "bingo-like" to your 100BB mindset, consider the larger picture. For cash games, money does not leave the room. Those who bust will rebuy. The stacks will grow, and the checks will stay on the table. People tend to play until they're broke or the game is over. Even those who cash out early will return the following week. There is usually no rake, and the games that do take a little tend to return it in immediate value (such as food and drink), at a rate far less than you'll ever find online. (Anything higher and it's no longer a home game, but an underground room.)
On the tournament side, even turbos reward proper hand selection over the long term. You will be playing with these people again and again. Your skill will prevail, even if the variance is higher. The mistakes others make are far too great for a skilled and disciplined player not to prosper.
Okay already, we're sold, home games are awesome, but how do we get in these games in the first place?
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FINDING GAMES & GETTING INVITED BACK
The hardest part is getting started. There are enough people in the home game circuit who play multiple games with multiple groups that cross-pollination is easy to achieve.
But how do you find that first one? You look for it, silly. Ask your friends and coworkers. Research pub leagues. Check out craigslist and meetup and facebook. Keep your eyes and ears open: there are plenty of games out there. But you can't be picky. A mistake beginning home game players make is rejecting games that don't fit their exact criteria. It's not your preference? Well, that's just too bad. You need to play games that others want to play. You won't find the perfect fit on the first try, but get your foot in the door. Eventually you'll find some that suit your tastes.
Many games have an all-comers approach, but the really good ones have a vetting process. These invites aren't extended to just anybody. You need to make nice with people. You need them to like you. This means you can't come off as a young internet punk know-it-all douchebag. If you find yourself offended by this characterization, it's probably because you fit it. Without self-awareness there is no success in poker, so get over yourself this instant.
I've played in locations you'd never think had juicy poker between the cracks. The know-it-all "online pros" don't receive the same invitations. Every now and again one of these folks show up who just can't stop yammering about strategy and ranges and odds and EV and VPIP and BBs and oh my lord would you shut up already? Forget about it if one of these jokers suffers a bad beat, he'll be in lecture mode forever. These players out-level themselves, then berate others for not playing properly. If they don't berate, they whine. And if it's not that, they're talking about all the online poker they play and how profitable they are at it.
Look around you, for cryin' out loud: you're not surrounded by other students of game. Nobody is impressed by you. These folks want to splash around and feel like "poker players" for an evening. Don't harsh their mellow, man.
Outside of checking your ego at the door, be a good guest. If there's food, take a snack. If there's drink, take a bottle. Be polite, and thank the host for having you. Introduce yourselves to others. Observe their customs and follow suit. Clean up after yourself and others. Say goodbye when you leave.
A great way to get invited back (and to other games) is to be a nice person, and an asset to the table.
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ETIQUETTE & MECHANICS: HELP, DON'T HINDER
While smart phones are becoming ubiquitous, it's still a jerk move to be texting or checking scores or whatever else all night. Be present in the game. You are a professional: you are selling entertainment. Don't shut out your clients. These people are here to socialize, not to grind. If you go into iPod hoodie mode, they'll happily find someone else to take your seat.
A smooth game is a happy game is a profitable game. Unfortunately, many games suffer from ridiculously sloppy procedures. While it's not your place to correct it, you still benefit by utilizing good mechanics yourself. Others will feel happy and comfortable with you at the table, even if they don't know why. A previous
COTW on Live Play Etiquette covers much of how to conduct yourself.
Don't worry about memorizing all of this, but do review it. While playing, look around and see what others do. Emulate what works, and avoid what doesn't. (This is a good tip for life, too.)
Think of the table as the playing surface. If you're not in the hand, stay off the surface. No phones, sunglasses, trinkets, bottles, or anything else. When you're out of a hand, keep your arms behind your chips. When you're in a hand, keep your cards in front of your stack and a chip on your cards. This not only helps protect them, but sends a signal to others that your cards are live. Don't block the view of your cards or chips from anybody at the table. All these little things are part of the language of the game, and when everybody speaks the same language, communication is a lot easier. Do what you can to contribute to the clarity of action and the efficiency of the game.
Protect your hand.
More than the physical cards, this is your interest in the entire hand. Call attention to errors and potential problems. Clarify ambiguity before responding to it. Be straightforward with your actions. It's easier to prevent a problem than clean up after it. We're all in it together.
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SHUFFLING & DEALING: EVERYBODY'S LEAST FAVORITE PART
More than anything else, good dealing procedures go a long way toward maintaining a clean, smooth, fast, error-free game.
Most games are self-dealt. Most everybody dreads their turn. They know how to shuffle paper cards, and that's it. While dealing, they feel put on the spot. It seems like it should be simple, but poor dealing procedures make for a tedious, miserable experience. Since we've all been shuffling and dealing card games our entire lives, nobody is interested in learning better techniques. They'd rather suffer through it every time, than spend half an hour learning how to make it easy on themselves.
You can do better than this. Rise above the rest.
Most games us plastic cards, so learn how to shuffle them. The paper deck bridge method is not meant for this. It not only takes a long time, it exposes the bottom of the deck. Other methods such as the hindu shuffle are equally problematic. Plastic cards are like a lover: be forceful yet tender. Direct them, but respond to their needs. The cards want to slide together, they want to go to their home. All you have to do is guide them.
A proper casino shuffle is easy to learn and takes at most ten seconds, with the least amount of hand movement or stress. It is thorough, and exposes no cards. To learn, look no further than here:
How To Shuffle Dot Com.
Read it, watch it, practice it. A little bit of time up front avoids untold aggravation. A stitch in time saves nine.
As to dealing, a while back I wrote a
basic primer on proper dealing procedures. This may be a lot to take in if you're new to live play, but once you become comfortable it's worth a review.
For both shuffling and dealing, remember: BREATHE! Your hands and brain need blood, and blood needs oxygen.
If you prove yourself to be a good shuffler and dealer, the hands you conduct will run smooth as silk sh*t, and it's never bad to leave others with a positive impression of your presence. The opposite of this (and a technique utilized by many) is whining that you're no good at shuffling, while making no effort to improve at dealing because it's such a chore for you.
Guess which attitude is more likely to get you invited to more games?
...
VARIANCE THE HARD WAY: ULTRA LONG-TERM
You're used to hundreds or thousands of hands an hour. Sorry, buddy, ain't gonna happen at a home game. Try thirty. If you're lucky.
You're not going to win every session. 100-200 hands is far from a significant sample. You're going to see these people again. And again. And again. The money's not going anywhere. Your losses are merely loans. You will collect them back, with interest.
Online is an endless stream of players coming and going, so you play the odds and trust it will work out overall. Home games are more about the session. Even if it's not a tournament, there's a definite start and finish. Because of this, many unsophisticated players treat cash games as tournaments, and become desperate or sloppy as pumpkin-time draws near. Go big or go home.
While you shouldn't have this mindset yourself, it's important to be aware of it in others, and make appropriate adjustments. It may be right to play the same hand differently, depending on the time of night and state of the game. Shorthanded at the beginning of the session is nowhere near the same game as shorthanded at the end of the session, playing with all the chips from those who went busto. The state of the game is constantly shifting. Stay on top of it.
Be aware of your opponents. You're playing far more than stats, you're playing state of mind. You are luring your opponents into a dance, one that may last years. Take your time and get to know them. Remember, HUDs are a replacement for observation. Information is not lacking in live games, it just takes a different form, and can be far more useful than a list of stats.
Avoid the trap of becoming lulled by the slow pace and crazy luck of your opponents. The speed and wild swings of live play puts online players on tilt like nothing else. A strategy that works online over a sample of 10k hands may not be logical in a slower, longer-term game. Some profitable higher-risk plays need to be repeated over far more hands than may ever be possible to achieve.
With proper observation and adaptation, you can turn frustratingly wild swings into steady solid profit.
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NETWORKING: THE ART OF TALKING TO REAL LIVE HUMANS
Poker players are not known for their social skills, and online gamers even less so. Home games are a great way to practice. The network you nurture will yield delicious fruit.
Everybody plays poker. Doctors, lawyers, scientists, contractors, politicians, restauranteurs, musicians, artists, repo men, film editors, video game designers, etc, etc, etc... everybody. A special kind of bond happens at a poker table of regular players, and your potential network of trusted associates knows no bounds. For those who have been living deep in mom's basement for a while, merely sitting at the table and listening to the stories and conversations can be a crash course on how people live and interact. I don't mean this as a slight. We've all been there. Home poker is a way of pulling you out. Observe. Learn. Grow.
Once you've built up your own network of friends, business partners, and poker players, a method of growing and maintaining it all is running a game yourself.
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HOSTING YOUR OWN GAME
For one with a passion for poker, there is nothing like hosting a thriving game. And you don't need much to do it. Sure, it's nice to have big tables, custom chips, large food spreads, stocked bars, computerized tournament directors, etc. These amenities are great for long-term sustainability, and there are some mighty fine high quality home poker dens out there. But you really only need one ingredient:
People.
Basic chips and plastic cards can be found anywhere. If you have a flat surface, you have a poker table. You can upgrade the equipment as you go, but if you have good people, you have a good game.
That said, there are things that help. I've written on the subject before:
How To Host A Game. These are basic guidelines on simple things you can do for a nice, clean, fun time. A game people enjoy is a game they want to play again, so work on the little things that help it all run so smoothly.
Another great aspect of home games is that many hold leagues for bigger prizes, such as entry into local casino events, or even WSOP seats. There are countless methods of structuring such a thing, and it will depend entirely on the crowd and goal. I've had great personal success taking a $20 garage game and raising $15,000 in two years to send ten people to $1500 WSOP events. Read how I did it:
Tips For A Successful Big Prize League.
With the right leadership and a good group of people, a home game can be an enriching, rewarding experience that lasts a lifetime.
.........
Far more could be written on numerous aspects of home games, as well as strategies specific to them that don't apply to online or casino. But most important is your attitude. With the right approach and a little luck, you can open up an enjoyable and profitable circuit that can entertain and feed you for years to come. Above all else, keep your mind on contributing to a positive experience, and the rest will flow from there.
And always remember: everybody loves a good rape joke.
-p.
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