Off I go!

You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

You got the Aussie one wrong

Are you from Australia? Because I want to visit your down under

I just **** my pants... Can I get into yours?

Can I smell your *****?

*SLAP*

Oh, must be your socks then.

You don't sweat much for a fat broad.

wow this thread is becoming PUA central

I dont think it was created for serious purposes

Well you'd be wrong.

That booty is like avocado, it's the good kind of fat.

I would say you're beautiful, but true beauty is on the inside, and I haven't been inside you yet.

Ima file a complaint with Spotify, cuz you're not listed as the hottest single of the week.

On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need.

Do you like Vines? Cuz I only last 6 seconds.

How do you like your eggs in the morning, over easy or fertilized?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm so and so

Guy: God damn it. I never get any girls.
Friend: Bro, just follow my advice. I get chicks all the time. Look at all these babes on my phone.
Guy: I'm too much of a nice guy. Waaahhhhhhhh!
Friend: Yo, be smooth like me. I'm like Rafiki from the Lion King. Nobody can resist a wise old monkey like me. (begins to impersonate Rafiki extremely well).
Guy: I don't know man. That sounded pretty ****ing weird what you did just now. I'm somewhat doubting all the stories you've told me about you getting laid.
Friend: Dude, just pretend to be sick like I told you last week, it totally works. It is a great strategy for beginners. Head downtown at Lunch hour when all the hot girls come out of the bagel shop and practice your magic.

...Later that day...

Guy: Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Guy: This is gonna sound really weird, but I was recently diagnosed with Lamprocapnos Spectabilis. The doctor says I only have a week to live. A month tops.
Girl: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for you.
Guy: Yeah, it sucks. My mom was devastated when I told her on the phone. Man it hurt so much to hear her cry.
Girl: That's so awful, I can't imagine what you must be going through.
Guy: Well later tonight I could be going through you?
Girl: ...
Guy: The doctor said that I should try and do things in my life that I've never done before so that I can properly cope with the grief. I've decided to strike up a conversation with the prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Girl: OMG that is so sweet!

...Later that night...

Guy: That sex wasn't as good as I thought it would be.
Girl: Wow, I can't believe you just said that!
Guy: Yeah, well, whatever.
Girl: What if I told you I knew you didn't have Lamprocapnos Spectabilis?
Guy: How would you-
Girl: What if I told you I knew you were going to the bagel shop to pick up girls?
Guy: Oh ****, my friend put you up to this. Didn't he.
Girl: Nooooooooo, looooook harder. (Said in the same way as Rafiki from the Lion King).
Guy: ... uhhhh... no ... no ... No! This can't be happening!
Girl: Oh but it is happening. (Starts pulling off disguise)
Guy: Noooooo!
Friend: Hahaha, I transgendered myself and you totally fell for it. You've been Punk'd!
Guy: **** you, I can't believe you just did this to me. **** you.
Friend: Actually, I believe you just did **** me. Also, say hello to all my viewers.
Guy: What!
Friend: You're on my chanel now. (Stands up and starts facing a camera). Yo, it is T-dog here for another prank yall. This one was pretty sick not gonna lie. Actually there was a lot of discussion and controversy on whether I should follow through with this on my reddit page. Leave a comment below on what you think about this prank. Was it good? Did I go too far? Not far enough? Leave your thoughts below. Also, if you aren't a regular visitor, don't forget to click that subscribe button before you leave. Click the like button too. Just click. Only like 2 seconds of your time click like, subscribe and thanks. T-dog out.



Okay, I don' know what happened here. I started with a simple pickup line thing and it evolved into a weird story after I realized I couldn't come up with anything good.

We dont get too many original stories. Nice job.

Your body is 90% water, and I'm REAL thirsty

Do you have a mirror in your pants? Cuz I can see myself in them.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Do you have a raisin? No? How about a date?

Do you have a band-aid? Cuz I skinned my knee when I fell for you.

Can I have a picture of you so I can show santa what I want for christmas?

My bed is broken, can I sleep in yours?

Are you a school? Cuz I wanna shoot some kids inside you.