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02-20-2014 , 02:03 PM

redtens

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 233

It's OK if it is horrible. 98% of them will if enough people try (which I doubt)

I'll start. Took me 10 minutes to think of this:

Knock Knock...

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02-20-2014 , 02:17 PM

lonely_but_rich

ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,112

When I pour syrup on pancakes it's like, "sploosh, drip" but when I pour syrup on waffles it's like, "glurp."

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02-20-2014 , 02:20 PM

zipppy

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,150

So what's the deal with self-checkouts?

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02-20-2014 , 03:46 PM

Hoopman20

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 2,366

duyest ****** thread i ever sce be

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02-20-2014 , 05:17 PM

EvilSteve

Midlife Crisis

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 13,195

Quote:

Originally Posted by zipppy

So what's the deal with self-checkouts?

My wife has one of those at home, it's called a mirror. She keeps checking herself out looking for that one angle where she's still 25 years old and hot instead of the fat ugly bitch she is now. Speaking of marriage, I wish there was an easy way to check myself out of that one, but we're both good Catholics and it's "til death do you part." So she needs to die or I need to die, either way I can't ****ing wait.

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02-20-2014 , 06:36 PM

redtens

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 233

who's there?
who.
who who?
i didn't know you were an owl..

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02-20-2014 , 06:37 PM

redtens

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 233

go ahead ban me.

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02-20-2014 , 06:45 PM

xalas

◄Valar Morghulis►

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 5,667

this thread?

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02-20-2014 , 07:11 PM

#9

Morphismus

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Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,649

Maybe we can do a cooperative joke! I start:

A priest, a gynecologist and a clown are rowing a boat across the Amazon...

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02-20-2014 , 08:03 PM

#10

EvilSteve

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Midlife Crisis

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 13,195

Just an ordinary boat, folks. Nothing tricky about it. It's just a boat...

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02-20-2014 , 08:53 PM

#11

xalas

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◄Valar Morghulis►

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 5,667

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morphismus

Maybe we can do a cooperative joke! I start:

A priest, a gynecologist and a clown are rowing a boat across the Amazon...

The priest asked the gynecologist what a vagina looks like being a priest never seen one before, the gynecologist said well it's funny looking
funny looking how, like a clown like a ****ing clown !!! !? screamed the clown
all three laughed so hard they tipped to boat over and were ghoulishly eaten by piranhas!
The End.

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02-20-2014 , 10:42 PM

#12

Hoopman20

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veteran

Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 2,366

Quote:

Originally Posted by xalas

The priest asked the gynecologist what a vagina looks like being a priest never seen one before, the gynecologist said well it's funny looking
funny looking how, like a clown like a ****ing clown !!! !? screamed the clown as she lifted up her clown skirt and flashed her clown vagina to them
all three laughed so hard they tipped to boat over and were ghoulishly eaten by piranhas!
The End.

FYP

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02-22-2014 , 03:49 PM

#13

CocteauTwin

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old hand

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 1,612

Quote:

Originally Posted by xalas

The priest asked the gynecologist what a vagina looks like being a priest never seen one before, the gynecologist said well it's funny looking
funny looking how, like a clown like a ****ing clown !!! !? screamed the clown
all three laughed so hard they tipped to boat over and were ghoulishly eaten by piranhas!
The End.

I actually found this hilarious. You win.

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02-28-2014 , 06:06 AM

#14

bingsa

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old hand

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,229

What did the left ear say to the right ear?

Come ear.

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02-28-2014 , 06:17 AM

#15

CrazyDiam0nd

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old hand

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,893

what did the left nut say to the right nut ?
Hows it hanging.

Last edited by CrazyDiam0nd; 02-28-2014 at 06:18 AM. Reason: copyright etc etc

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02-28-2014 , 04:20 PM

#16

Morphismus

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What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Spoiler:

Looking good!

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03-09-2014 , 01:55 AM

#17

bingsa

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old hand

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,229

Two ears are having a fight:

Left Ear. I'm gonna beat you down so bad and you'll be left ear to die.

Spoiler:

Right Ear: I'm right ear buddy.

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03-09-2014 , 03:34 AM

#18

AlexM

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ignored

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 20,655

Thanks, Obama.

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03-09-2014 , 04:37 AM

#19

CCuster_911

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You Only Live Once

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 24,435

I laughed so hard at nobody responding to OP then him posting anyway a few posts later.

This thread became an amazing joke.

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03-09-2014 , 08:52 AM

#20

lonely_but_rich

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ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,112

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

I laughed so hard at nobody responding to OP then him posting anyway a few posts later.

This thread became an amazing joke.

And with a joke he didn't come up with haha.

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03-10-2014 , 06:42 AM

#21

bingsa

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old hand

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,229

I did not....see....that.....joke......told by that man......Mr. Obama.

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03-10-2014 , 10:53 AM

#22

redtens

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journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 233

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely_but_rich

And with a joke he didn't come up with haha.

Where has that knock knock owl joke been said? I thought of it myself but I can try again if that one has been done.

It was a really good joke so I wouldn't be suprised if a brilliant mind came up with it before me.

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03-10-2014 , 12:27 PM

#23

lonely_but_rich

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ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,112

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03-11-2014 , 12:43 AM

#24

ibolxijuf

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grinder

Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 521

A ham sandwich walks into a bar.The bartender says "Sorry buddy....We dont serve food here".

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03-11-2014 , 10:53 AM

#25

UthersGhost

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adept

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 871

What does DNA stand for?

Spoiler:

National Association of Dyslexics.

What's green and yellow and smells of bananas?

Spoiler:

Monkey puke!

How many sound technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler:

two-one two-two-one-one-two three

A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.
Bartender says 'Coming right up, in fact we have a whisky that's
named after you'.
The white horse says...

Spoiler:

'What... Kevin?'

I'll see myself out.

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