Ok, so I've been having a break from both coaching and playing due to lack of motivation. It just hasn't been fun anymore and I've been worrying about 1) my coaching turning into some weird new age hippy bull**** and 2) making mistakes while I play.

I think I finally realize that I really do not have to give a single ****. I play pretty well when I'm stoned and just have fun, I'm 100% staked with a fixed hourly rate and the staker values his ****s as well, and does not give them even if I do ******ed stuff.

I'm actually coaching high stakes (and even the nosebleeds) and my clients are pretty happy with my work, so why the **** should I accept any stress from it. Ppl that take my coaching are usually pretty open minded and I guess they don't mind me being a True ****tard.

This might seem trivial and unfunny, but when you reach master level at poker you will find this funny. When you're at a guru level, you will realize that this actually makes perfect sense.

Now for the spot. It's fictional but I when I start playing again it will happen eventually, so I want to hear your advice.

SB: $396 (99 bb)
BB: $522.06 (130.5 bb)
MP: $420.64 (105.2 bb)
CO: $400 (100 bb)
BTN: $418.33 (104.6 bb)

Preflop: Hero is MP with T 4

Reads:
Hero does not give a ****
Staker does not give a ****

Should I just open jam this and announce my hand in chat for the lulz and for a great JUSTICE? Also note that our hand looks kinda like a cat. I think that is a sign from the Ongame gods.

No money in poker. Everyone is solid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZX6KiVeBVp8&t=0m47s

I'm actually going to make this hand part of my openshoving range whenever I have a stack of $420.

wat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

You don't have to understand it, just take maney.

Did you forget to take your medication tsojo?

Yeah, I guess the post would've been funnier if I had been high.

Fwiw there's a difference between losing it and letting go despite that they may look the same.

yeah srsly dude. Sober up before writing anything else...

I'm sober fwiw, I just do not give a ****.

I know this seems confusing, but don't worry. It's funny when u get the joke. However, this is only the setup part.

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8

punch-line asap pleas.

You will have to wait until this spot actually happens. I could spoil the joke but I don't want to.

you are awesome

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

did anyone else scratch their heads at: 100% staked + coach nosebleeds ?

i guess he finally gone insane

Deal with it.

I feel the need to chime in, for a couple of reasons:

- The hand DOES look like a cat and this needs to be addressed ASAP, before it runs away.
- Tsojojo is a weird Finn who likes to rape random things @ night instead of sleeping.
- He enjoys the best of what the Earth has to offer. You could say he's an Environmentalist and also a pioneer of good things.
- He is indeed well versed in certain poker things and does indeed coach some HS players that play 25/50++.

Hey dude if u don't give a **** could you give me an hour or two free poker coaching ? That would be purely awesome and really proving that u're rdy for all those ****** u wrote in your text. Give them Europeans some of your bravery and skillz, i may even call u daddy during the session if u love that while u're stoned

Sacre Bleu! Me coaching le frenchman?



Le OK, I think I can do that for the lulz.

sometimes you've got to take one for the team. (staking him, i think he runs wellllll & spreads general joy.)

yo.

YEAH BABY! ALLIN. If you old 400NL guys remember Digeri, I used to do this all the time cause i'm always tilted lol. Of course I balance it with AA so you can't call profitably against my T4 off suited. I'm a poker genius just like tosojo

Tu n'aimes pas la baguette ?

I'll get french fries for u ! when do we start?

You're doing it wrong, openjamming other hands messes up our ranges and the poker gods stay unamused.

PM me your details, and let's set sthing up.

trying too hard and failing....no big deal. happens to all of us.