Hello, 2P2 forum reader!

I'm Michael, a 17 year old boy, and I have been fighting social anxiety and having no social contacts for around 2 years. This post is about sharing my current point of view on my existance thus far and I am making it in hopes of learning more about life. Every day I have to work hard to reach my goals and I do it to achieve something that comes naturally to most. But having the willpower to do such things gives me the confidence that I am a strong human being and that this is going to take me far in life.

I will try to be your guide through a person's life, from nothing to something. I hope that you enjoy what I had to say and you respect the seriousness of this post by not trolling. Thank you and remember that you're amazing!






I was born in a Eastern European country during times of hunger and poverty. My parents would tell me about how difficult it was to get a hold of enough money for food and medicine, let alone take care of a baby. But they did a great job. I even consider myself spoiled in a way because when I was 4 years old my father took me home to a strange machine that looked like a TV. They told me it was a computer. I was very happy to see that I could play games and from that point on it became my friend.

A few years later, I had become hooked to the computer. It was there when I needed it, it didn't betray me, I had the best friend ever. And since it didn't saying anything about how I looked I would eat and eat until one day I realised I had become a chubby kid. On top of that I had no friends and I had become overly sexual at the age of 12 because of the bad influence of some older boys that I would sometimes hang out with. I didn't even know what I was saying but I thought it was hilarious because those boys would have fun talking about it.

This, however, didn't help my social status the slightest bit. It only creeped my classmates out and I had nobody to talk to. This enraged me, I needed attention, I needed someone to converse with. So what I did was become provocative and be an *******. I would start arguments and hate on people just because they didn't want me near them.

Then one day it hit me. I couldn't keep on doing this, it results in nothing good. I had been doing all those bad things to my classmates and I was a nobody. So I decided that I had to change.





I needed a fresh start and thought that if I become a regular badminton player this would improve my life and I would find that the other guys from my badminton club could be my friends. But by that time it was too late. I was a grown boy that was neither superior to the youngsters, nor had the physique to bring in some respect. Kids would disrespect me and this provided players of my age with a nice laugh. This made me increasingly angry. With time though, I earned respect. I worked hard to earn it.

That was the time I got into poker. I had gone to a summer sports camp and some of the older boys introduced me to the game. Immediately I was hooked. I was down for the get rich fast by playing "games". I would watch videos all the time and would turn into Negreanu, Ivey or whoever was best for the situation whenever I played poker. I thought myself a grinder when I was playing for 2 dollars a day every day at my school. I even once was naive enough to say that I could make a living this way. I got into alot of home games and this brought me to know some people making life more bearable. I was now not that lonely.






Here I was, 16 years old, poker kid, with daily activities and hobbies. But there was something missing. Ah, friends. It was already summer of 2012 and I still hadn't made any friends that I could truly call that. But things were about to change. I went on vacation in the mountains with my cousins. There I saw not this internet generation but the old school teenagers, the ones that actually talked in my language, didn't use any english slang mixed with our language and were naturally amazing. I fell in love with this new experience and when the time came to say goodbye I felt sad. I must admit, I cried. For a few days. I had finally found PEOPLE and I was forced to leave this relationship hanging. But after a week, I pulled myself together. I said to myself "You see that? Awesome people are out there and you're sitting in your house doing nothing! Go out there and explore!"






That is what happened. I've been taking every chance I have, grabbing every moment, every offer to be with someone. I have become a person that is there for his friends, always helping. I've learned how to be happy, something that some never learn in their life. I now take nothing for granted and I do the most with what I have. Sometimes life gets too intense but I try and do my best to get back on my feet even if I have fallen countless times. This is the point of no return. I have fallen in love with life.

Since this summer, I've lost 12-13 kilograms (26 pounds) and have made atleast one long lasting friendship. It's with a girl and it could result in more but things are quite complicated, which I think that at this age they shouldn't be. I am now a boy with dreams and ambitions, a person who lives like there's no tomorrow.

I have turned my life around and am moving on to bigger and better things. I sometimes think that just with what I've done so far I've proven that I have a strong personality and I hope that I one day reach the greatness of what is to contribute to society by existing.

This is my story and I hope you enjoyed!

damn I wanna be 17 again

Thanks for sharing your story Michael. You seem like a genuienly good person who has a good perspective on life at such a young age. I am sure your life will only improve as you grow and develop more relashionships and learn more things in life and find what you are truly good at. Good luck and keep us posted on your journey

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Good luck mate, it's a good start.

17. There would be so, so many changes I'd make if I could go back to 17. You don't realise it at the moment, but you have all the ****ing time in the world to achieve whatever you want.

Pick a goal or an end result that you find desirable. Identify the most efficient method of achieving your goal - and then give it everything you have, every single day, and don't stop until you either achieve your goal or are dead. That's my philosophy. All you can do is your best.

Good job thus far, onward and upward.

Kind of an update I suppose...




I've been going to the gym ever since my 17th birthday and I am really doing great there. I'm working hard, unlike alot of other people and usually have the longest workouts in the gym. I am currently doing overall workouts where I would do 3 upper body exercises, then 3 leg exercises, then upper body again...I've found out that my arms are very weak, opposite to my mindset as badminton is a racket sport, that's why I'm working hard on improving in that certain area.




Today after my workout I went on to going home and was pretty happy. Then I saw a person going through the trash can and sorting out the trash. I had a flash of memories and thoughts right there. I thought about the time I went spewing, the time that I would get alot of money, the time my family gave me money for no reason. Why did I deserve to go home and eat a delicious meal when this man is here trying to SURVIVE?

But I still walked past him. I was afraid? or was this just what society teaches us? To walk past strangers, live a cold emotionless life and stay out of the way of others. I then refused to keep on with this. I went back, pulled out some change I had on me and gave it to him. He wished that I took it back but I refused. After I was insistent on him keeping the change which is nothing to me (not trying to be cocky, just don't think money makes people happy, I have way more than enough for food and thus my happiness is left for me to assure) he thanked me and we started talking.

He seemed a bright fellow, he claimed to have 2 high school diplomas (not sure how to say that) and since I don't know how things worked back in the day I'm not sure about that. And what had it come to? Being unemployed and trying to survive off of others' trash.




He didn't speak of alcohol and his mind seemed clear, he had very precise moral standings. Though at times he did seem somewhat dubious I imagine this might be cause of his age and situation. But he was still alive, he was happy and he was always joking around. He wasn't one to ramble about how bad his life was...Quite the opposite, he considered himself happy. Is this not proof that money is nothing? If you have just enough to survive and not starve, if you aren't sick of an awful disease, then everything could be perfect.




On another note, I find life very majestic in the way that it has provided me with alot of great people that I've met recently or maybe it's my gut. I say this because this same man told me about what had happened many years ago. He saw a man walking down the street. The man was somewhere far away from the present and wasn't thinking about what was around him. Then the person I met tried to talk to him. The man just tried to walk past him. Then he lift him up, put him on a bench next to them and slapped him a few times. When he asked "Where are you going?" the man said "I'm going to kill myself." My friend so to say talked him out of it and that same man has been in contact with him since then. He now has grandchildren and is far from the thought of dying.

Is this a kind of vibe that he sends or is this pure chance is left for you to decide. I am happy that this happened to me and even though some of the things he said might be false, there was proof that some were true and I am grateful that I met this man. Many people looked at me amazed that I had stopped to talk to him but I am amazed that they were driving in their nice expensive cars and had the nerve to think that my action was that of a crazy person...Not everyone thinks like me, but what the hell, I am happy with the way I do things and that's enough for me.

interesting story, i can happily say that i do not have social anxiety but i seem to have general anxiety, i think it runs in the family. Anxiety can be super tough to deal with, so i commend you on your efforts and progress thus far.

Good luck

do you read a lot?

My theory is that you can not write like that unless you read a lot.

Good story. Keep us updated. It is kind of refreshing how you approach things, given that you are 17. damn was I stupid back then...

yep

great post man thanks for sharing. you have a great attitude about life and great writing skills. the future is bright

btw which Eastern Eu country are you from?
(I'm Eastern Eu as well, that is why I'm curious)

To start off, THANK YOU ALL for the responses, it really means alot to me! I didn't quite imagine that my story would be this likable but I'm glad that you like it and that I'm doing something worthwhile!

ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS

I don't consider myself an avid reader, nor do I think I read alot. I enjoy reading and I'm currently reading a book in English called "The Prague Cemetery" by Umberto Eco. Some of my friends and acquaintances read alot more than me. I didn't use to read much, especially on school nights but I've started doing it. Unfortunately, I always fall asleep even if I'm quite interested in the on-going events. FML


I'm from Bulgaria. At first I was kind of skeptical about posting my wherabouts but I don't mind at this point. It would even be fun if I end up meeting up with some other 2+2 players, feels like it would be an interesting experience.

Whatchu doin'?

It took me about half an hour to get to writing this after my PC froze 5 times, after which I moved to my laptop. THEN, I got a PURPLE screen which is a first and thought I might as well quit. I gave it one last try and hopefully I manage to write everything before something bizzare happens again...

UNORTHODOX DIETING

The last month has been awful when it comes to dieting and eating right. I started off barely eating, I would eat once per day and it wouldn't be even a real meal, it would be like a sandwich or a snack of some sort. I lost about 3kg within 2 weeks and my parents intervened. They started making me eat all the time and I got back to my previous weight pretty quickly. Since school doesn't quite allow people to eat whatever is best for them I've been having a difficult time figuring out the best way to eat enough, not eat too much and eat healthy.

Well, guess what? This is near impossible! I'm always trying to eat some fruit, have something with alot of carbohydrates and I end up going survival mode until I get home where I eat home-made dishes. However, today what I did was eat alot in the morning and gradually reduce meal sizes as night closes in. I hope this solves my problems and I no longer end up overeating or starving...

THE FUTURE

I am still quite surprised by the amount of responses this thread has received and I hadn't quite planned anything about this thread. I do have lots of stories that are well worth reading but I don't want this thread to be something too engaging, it's more of a vent thread and some fresh reading material. I probably won't be writing more than one story a week as nobody's life is that amazing that something incredible happens to them every day.

Today's post was more of an update and wasn't really supposed to have a story. I don't consider me being clueless at dieting while at school a story but I still hope it didn't bore you to death.

I wish I was 7

To the people saying wish I was 17 I think there are 3 reasons for writing that:
1)You do not like where you stand right now. Well, try to turn your life around here and now because that's all we have at our disposal.
2)You missed out on partying or having lots of free time. Think of it this way, working hard has made you what you are today, a person striving success and well on their way to a great career.
3)You wish you could party as much as you did back then. Well, I have a low tolerance level when it comes to alcohol so I even wonder if I enjoy parties that much haha. Then again, I do!

Hope you enjoyed and see you all later!

gl OP, following this thread closely and i'm 17 going 18 too.

guys, what advice would you give to your 17 year old self back then? I'm really curious.

Hey guys I'm back with something new to share! I'm feeling kind of down lately because I haven't been to school in 2 days and I can't get my mind off of a girl.

SMALL WORLD

About two months ago I received a friend request on facebook from a girl that I had no mutual friend with. At first I thought to myself "hmmm, could this be someone I know from the internet? Or is this just a random?" I looked into it and she had a few pictures taken in my hometown. I wasn't sure what to make of it but I accepted her friend request as I believe in talking to all sorts of people.

I accepted her and she told me that we had been together from 1st to 4th grade which was odd for me. Then after talking for a bit I understood that I wasn't the person she was looking for. However, I offered to help and we found the person she was looking for (obviously also named Michael lol)
She was very happy and thanked me deeply. I didn't chat to her after that for a bit and left the long seperated friends chat up.

SOOTHING COMFORT

Around that time I was in love with a girl and had nobody to talk to because it would be strange for me if I talked to my friends about it, so I started talking to this girl online so I can distance myself from thoughts about my real life problems. Then as we got closer I would start talking to her about my troubles. We got real close and started chatting alot, she made me happy and I made her happy. We talked about all kinds of stuff, pretty much anything really. I thought that we were so perfect a match that it was unrealistic, I had never enjoyed myself around a person that much, we weren't faking, we were just being ourselves and we really hit it off. And as she loves travelling she would be going all around the world alot and said that during the summer she just stays in Bulgaria, in my hometown, meaning we would meet!!!

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Everything is delightful, everything is right! No? How is this not perfect?
Well, here is where everything goes downhill for me. This was the point I got really attatched to her...I usually go to bed at 10:30-11:00pm on a school night but this time I stayed up until 1am chatting with her. I stopped only because I felt my father getting ready to pull the plug so I decided to just go to bed. The morning she chats me up at 6:20am and I was almost late for school chatting with her. However, at school I felt kind of sick and went home...only to chat to her while she's in class. This time she progressively starts chatting less and less. I think ok, that's cool she's obviously busy, she's at school. Then when she got back, same thing.
This was yesterday, mind you, so I'm giving my straight up emotional judgement which is probably flawed and doesn't include life's variance.




This reminds me of the downfall of every relationship with a girl I've had during the last 2 years. We talk, I get to know the girl, I like her, I get over attatched, or atleast so I think, and she just doesn't feel the same way. However, this really felt different, I felt like I was on the same page with her and I know it's too early to tell but I think that this is going the way of all the other relationships I've had...Such moments make me wonder if I'm even progressing in life and if I'll ever meet a person that I can share a large mutual commitment. I'm really not sure what to think of this, the only thing I know is that I'm glad that I'm going to school tomorrow because being home alone thinking about her like this is not going to be fun...I'll keep you guys updated on this whole thing and I'm sorry if this was more of a depressing story rather than something fun to read.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!

Those people telling you to get a degree in something you enjoy instead of getting a degree in something that will get you a guaranteed job...ignore those people. You might enjoy history, or English literature, or modern art, but jobs in those fields are scarcer than hen's teeth on the best of days and with just a BA or BFA, forget it about them. Get that degree in a hard science or accounting or something else that will qualify you for more than moving paper from one pile to another for barely minimum wage.

You're 17. You don't know what love is and there are a million fish in the sea. Don't take it too hard when she kicks you to the curb.

Enjoy your summers off while you can. Before you know it, it's internships and then work all summer, every summer, until you die.

Get in shape and stay in shape.

Appreciate you family and thell them you love them while you can. Forgive them and tell them you love them. You parents know they made mistakes raising you; let it go and don't bring those mistakes up. Someday they won't be there.

You're going to want to retire someday. Put money away as early as you can and don't touch it.

Credit's nice, but not as nice as being debt free. Clothes, CDs, and meals out can wait until you have the cash.

Don't accumulate stuff. It's just stuff and when you finally get your own apartment or house, you just have to haul it around.

Just because you have to be serious, does not mean you have to be a jerk. Be a nice guy. The flip side is life is entirely too short to have to force yourself to spend time with jerks.

You don't know everything at 17. By 37, you're just realizing that your parents are actually smart. Listen to them. Listen more, speak less in general, and don't open you mouth unless you are dead sure about something and can back it up with facts...and even then think twice before speaking.