I agree with you here Goof. I kinda figure it's a done deal once I start talking to a girl on IM - like - my success rate is very, very high. Email has worked equally well for me in the past - specifically from work where IM was not available. I have no issue at all with this strategy - however I DO have issue with

The problem here is that quite bluntly - this shows a lack of understanding of people in general. The PUA stuff is not to try to be a fake you and cover up the real you so that you can bang chicks. I mean - granted -that's what it's typically used for, however the reason it works is what you should be concerned with, and unfortunately the truth behind the science is incredibly simple: People don't give a **** about you. They don't. You have to give people a reason to give a **** about you beyond the fact that you like (aka need something from) them. I mean, there's a reason we all pass the homeless on the streets and it's NOT that we really need the dollar.

The pua stuff is simply a way to help understand the general human condition, and break through the hard candy shell. It's a way to look at your interactions as an initial game, and move past the 'you're just another person who wants to talk about work, buy me a drink, and tell me how pretty my eyes are' - and THEN get to bond on a deeper level. How into a chick would you be if she told you on the first date that the loved you and wanted to get married and have kids before your first conversation? You'd likely be turned off and think she was putting the cart in front of the horse. I mean - maybe another dumb example, but there's an order of operations, and no matter how much you want to drag your feet, you need to build attraction and value in the beginning stages in order to give girls a reason to want to actually get to know you. It's just how it works.

As far as your specific situation, it actually sounds like it went pretty well. I mean - I still talk to some girl who I met off POF who brought 2 of her friends to our first date - and she loves me for making a good impression on them and dealing with the situation well. It was a test from a nervous chick, that it seems like you passed. If she agrees to go out on another date with you WITHOUT jerking you around - I think you're golden. If she does anything non-linear - kick her to the curb because you've done far more than enough to get to this point. However I'd def suggest trying to hang out one more time on your terms (tell her that last time she got to choose, and now it's your choice - I'll give you some MONEY dates from pre drinks to dinner to etc in SF if you want). You've have sweat equity in this and not attempting to realize it is a waste.

I really like and agree with a lot of what you say here. Thing is, I also think there's a lot to be said for talking with someone with absolutely no physical proximity. I mean, I know ppl from 2p2 who I feel close with and understand better mentally than many of my long term IRL friends, tho I've never met them. I think these type of bonds are far more similar to how females view relationships than males, and for that reason, I think that they're of significantly more value that we, as men, often give them credit for. I mean, it's kinda the reason that us guys talk over beers or golf or w/e - we need our mental to be matched with physical, while girls are happy just chatting on the phone, or sitting around with their girlfriends poking at brunch for hours.

It's this difference that really makes IM / email / PM, so powerful imo. Add to that the fact that meeting someone from the internet is pretty scary, especially w/o rapport, and it makes perfect sense to get to know someone first over electronic communication.

I'm not disagreeing with what you said above, as yeah - I try not to give TOO much away talking to girls before I meet them, as I agree with EVERYTHING being more powerful in person - however sometimes girls just aren't ready for that without a lot of comfort being built before hand.

nodding vigorously with all of this, especially the bolded.

**** just got real

this is the best thread to lurk ever, cheers guys.

i think goof did fine. you putting so much thought and effort into a girl living so far away seems weird though.

i wouldn't suggest lying to look better by being unavailable or whatever tactic. i would however suggest changing your life so that you're naturally not giving her as much thought or effort.

not trying to knock you because you seem like you have a job you actually enjoy which makes you more accomplished then the majority of us but hopefully you get what i meant.

I didn't know how far away she lived until last night, she'd always just said that she lives in the east bay and was hoping to move to SF soon. She works and goes to school in SF so the distance doesn't seem to be a huge problem.

She also lives with her parents (I'm pretty sure I've mentioned her age before but she's 21) so I don't exactly foresee myself having much reason to go out to her neck of the woods.

diablo while its obv that all that stuff is better in person, im 100% opposed to the notion that it 'hurts' rather than helps. it helps, just not as much imo.

edit i just read snipes reply and +1

zz,

I don't like that stuff for the same reason I don't like FB friending a girl I'm trying to date. I think FB/chat/email/etc before spending some real time together lend an air of familiarity that hurts the romance/attraction development phase of the relationship.

gb,

I don't recall - did this start as an inbound message to you from her?

No, I messaged her first, I can't remember if I stumbled upon her profile randomly though or if it popped up in the list of people that viewed mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id8My4ib6dM#t=03m07s

hahaha it took me a bit to understand the relevance of that video

Sweet, I don't have to see that movie now

Well your missing out on two Natalie Portman masturbation scenes, plus the movie itself is really good(8.7 IMDB FTW!)

Actually a quick scan of the IMDb page actually does make me think that I'd better give the whole movie a watch.

The movie is v solid if you like David Lynch style films. The girl I watched it with was constantly covering her face repeating 'this is too intense for me'.

I enjoyed it quite a bit.

fyp

Blogchick hasn't been online today and I sent her a text a few hrs ago (just an icebreaker) that she hasn't responded to, so I guess that answers that.

It's Aronofsky, not Lynch. Lynch is intense sometimes, but Aronofsky is much darker and generally more intense as well.

I suppose I should have added that waiting a few days would not hurt.

In b4 girl cheating on him in 8 months due to lack of game. PUA isn't just for banging. It's for relationships too. Presumably you understand that PUA is for banging quality women. Don't guys looking for relationships also want quality women? PUA is completely applicable. Obviously you will not be banging her only once or twice, yet the overall plan doesn't change. You still try to have sex with her on the first date, but instead of ignoring her after a week, you continue to develop the relationship and add the emotional stuff after the physical stuff is established. Emotional connections don't turn into physical connections. Physical connections turn into emotional connections. Once you have established the physical connection, you can then decide whether you want to keep it strictly physical (if that's even possible, with some women it's not), or if you want to try to pursue a relationshi with her.

Also, Mittens is a PUA savant. I have read his posts in this thread and they reek of high-quality knowledge and experience. All of you interested in improving your game would be well-served by reading and re-reading his posts throughout this thread.

Hardly exclusive to women.