and combined with the emo bomb she dropped last night (which made me feel less nervous) i was more just making a post than anything. but in the back of my mind im probably slightly uneasy. im also pretty buzzed right meow.

has she spoken to him since then and been like.. that was a mistake, not happening again, etc conversation?

well basically, lol the guy is a dweeb when it comes to chicks. he had a "relationship talk" with her (he initiated) after they banged once. she turned him down on that, but banged a couple more times.

he lives in colorado, and we live in VA, she has told me they emailed a couple times (they were very good friends before they banged) to catch up std etc.

she has told me that she regrets it, not because of who it was or whatev but because it hurt me (obv). idk if she has talked to him or not about that particular subject. he texts her occasionally afaik, but is pretty busy in the air force.


this is what i know from what shes told me.

better get tested

what the **** is old mutual friend (OMF) thinking? is he ******ed? he shouldnt even ****ing allow it to get to the point where ANYTHING needs to be said. i'd be so pissed off, but i have more of a history with him than you do (and as such, i am not even remotely surprised)

i wasnt surprised either really.

mutual black friend (lolol) had my back and was lookin out though.

it almost seems like you're trying to convince us everything is ok. i wouldn't worry at all about it. if i came in from out of state id expect to hangout with the other person too.

this is probably how it goes down. he'll test the limits and flirt and see if she would cheat. she'll love the attention because as soon as she changed her facebook status to relationship i bet a lot of the every day attention she would received from guys had stopped. she'll deny him if he gets to persistent but otherwise she'll go along with it all because it's fun, the same exact way you'd flirt with underage college students you give alcohol to. don't let it phase you and if you don't let her know you're even thinking about it it'll probably make you even more alpha dog status in her eyes.

i can just picture him shaking his head saying "dont'chyou do that mang"

get mutual black friend to get a 2+2 account

yeah probs... gotta stop drinking

I lol'd for awhile.

Yeota your stock has risen so much lately it's not even funny.

Results from class today w/ E.

We take the exam, and even though I finished a little bit before her I just stayed and talked with some people (waiting for her to get done LDO but I'm good enough friends with these people now I should have stayed and talked anyway). She finishes, we walk out with her friend.

As the three of us are walking out she has to split off first because her car is on the other side of campus. Obviously in that scenario I'm not going to do anything except say goodbye, have a great summer, etc (friend was still walking in my direction).

I wait about 15 minutes and text "Hey, we should do XXXX some time" (where XXXX is a local place that people around us know and love). She replies "Yeah! I love XXXX".

So that's where we're at. I know you guys are going to go "LOL what a n00b" with the "some time" line and texting her right after she left but it was definitely the best line. I can't describe quite how, but in this scenario it helped my chances waaayyy more than just calling her cold a few days from now.

More importantly, it looks like I have a date with the girl I'm going to marry next week.

Yeota, look, this girl likes you. A lot. She's telling you this stuff because she's afraid you'll get mad like her old boyfriend would. That's what she's used to. Use this as an opportunity to show her that you're NOT that other jackass, that you do trust her, and that she means a lot to you. FFS, she screwed you 30lbs ago and you're worried about her making a mistake now? I mean, we love you no matter what because you're a cool dude. But chicks dig skinny Yeota more.

I have killed a lot of time at work reading this thread. I think every college aged guy can relate to these stories. Well, except for some of Karak’s stories. No offense.

I am looking for advice on how to go from hooking up to a relationship. My girl’s name is Sub. I know her from school and she now lives 2+ hrs away from me. We have talked online and via text for several months now. I say we had 1.5, two hr + convos per week. We hooked up (banged) the second time we hung out. She stuck around town for 5ish days and in that time we hung out twice sober and once drunk. We had sexy time all but one of those times.

She left the state for a week and during that time we had 20+ texts convos just about everyday. She initiated the texts 60/40 and I generally ended them 60/40. However, just recently, we have begun to talk less (about the same as before we hooked up. maybe less) and she is now the one ending the convos or sending a reply that does not really call for a response.

I like this girl and would like to work towards starting a relationship with her. The thing is I have only had 1 GF this decade so I really don’t know how to approach this situation. Should I be acting aloof or should I be showing more affection? I plan on taking the advice given in this thread about never being the one to bring up the relationship talk. Below is some more relevant info about this situation:
Sub is an 8.
She is not a saint, but I have reason to believe she is not a slut either. She thought being with 10 guys was a lot.
She has told me she sometimes gets sick of people and enjoys being alone.
She said she has been in lust with guys, but has not been in like with a guy in many yrs.

I plan on sending her a cutsey email about hanging out next weekend. I don’t plan on initiating contact with her until then. Good or bad plan?

i would say be honest about what you want and see what happens.

Lol Dertty, that is so bad. If he throws out the relationship talk so quick it is so much more likely he gets shot down.


What he has to do is slowly escalate things into the boyfriend/girlfriend mode. Do things together that are what couples do. Eventually she will come to him asking for a relationship. Pretty much any girl you want to have a relationship with will initiate the talk relatively quickly. ( they will want to make sure you aren't banging other chicks )


The whole distance thing is a huge complication though. Much harder to do this when you cannot see her often.

Oh and text messages from phones isn't going to cut it. You gotta talk to her on the phone or engage her in online chats.

he said they have been talking for several months now. Sounds like she might be getting bored with the relationship because there seems to be no escalation. I think its a great time.

To me he was this good of a poster before. It's just that, as he put it, his marriage is on hiatus. Just remember, this guy is Frosty the Snowman and he's going to melt at the end of the season and we'll lose him again. But I'm glad he's posting so much at the moment.

"Some time," to me, is totally fine in a text to open that convo, but did you not follow her enthusiastic reply with "how about Friday?" or something of that sort? I mean, I'm sure you've got it all under control, but I just assume that the initial text broaches the conversation and you close plans from there.

In any case, sometimes in assessing another's actions, we lose sight of the uniqueness of each scenario and the fact that we're not privy to every intangible of the situation that the person is in. And full context isn't always easy to paint. There's no "one size fits all" play for each situation. First and foremost, people with decent instincts (obviously you're in that club) still need to trust their own feel for the situation before they trust anything else. The input we get from this thread is valuable for sure, but there's limits to that value.

If I ever declare a girl to be my future wife before I've dated her the way you and ZZ do, then Karak and I both have to switch to Pedro Martinez avatars.

This is not going to end well. Long distance is crap, there are no exceptions, just painful relationships that last longer.

Find someone else and **** her if she's around.

yeah i see no problem with that line given the situation, im sure you guys had some eye contact or something after class that indicated that was ok

yeah, well said. ty.


^this

you could be right, but there is a difference in escalating immediately to "i want to be in a relationship" to escalating to date-like activities. some date-like things are a much better idea.

lol'd hard

Almost positive she will be scared off. Plus I am foolishly prideful and would not bring this up unless I already knew the answer was a yes. We talk online. I really dislike talking to girls on the phone.

Possibly. I don't know though because we hooked up for the first time last time we saw each other. There really had been no escalation before that. I was surprised by the whole thing tbh. Though, I do worry about being boring. I think that was probably the motivating fear behind my post. sigh.

So I had been banging a girl (FB) prior to Sub. There are no real feelings either way between me and FB, so no one should get hurt. I just don't want that to be something that bites me in the *** later when trying to gf Sub. This is a very out of the ordinary situation for me, so any thoughts are appreciated.

Game plan is to invite her to town and do something datey. Thanks!

My next test which I hadn't yet sent was "Great, it's one of the area's finest establishments haha. I'll give you a call when I figure out what next week looks like." Her reply was standard and that was about it.

And LKJ, sometimes you just know. You'll understand ZZ and I some day.

I JUST LIKE TO DATE CRAZY ASS CHICKS OK?

No I won't. I'm way too cynical for that sort of romanticism.

But obviously I wish the both of you the best.