I personally wouldn't pursue a serious relationship with any of my friends ex-girlfriends simply because it is weird to me. I'm sure that's a bit childish and immature, but for me personally it would be hard to ever see that person again while with his ex (if we are in a serious relationship). This is simply because, although it probably wouldn't be mentioned if the the dude is a standup guy, the elephant in the room is always there. You always truly know that he ****ed your girl and can hold it over your head whenever he wants in any argument.

I understand that if a person acted like this you wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway so it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it just has never sat well with me.

Also, I agree with the poster above that mentioned Cam'ron lmao. It seems like from your friends response, Funky, that he basically disrespected you in a "Sure bro, you can have my scraps whenever you want." That may or may not be true but that is certainly the vibe I got from it. However, this also could be due to how I feel about these situations in general outlined above.

good s*** man, hope it goes well

This would come across as you being incredibly buthurt that your friend wants to date your ex.

lol what?

I figured a couple of those would follow haha, as I said...childish and immature but for whatever reason I can't shake it

+1 in the would not go after a friend's ex crew. Maybe years down the road.

It took me until this year to even really understand that you shouldn't put yourself in a position that another man has to trust you.

Pretty sure there's a story in the bible about this. A man sleeps in the same bed as his friend's wife, while the friend is at war. He puts a sword between them to see if he can resist. He doesn't do anything with her. Later the elders or whatever teach that it's better to not test yourself.

i cant work out how to embed, supposed to be ray j - hit it first.

thought it was fitting

1. You're making sex a bigger deal than it is. I am eskimo brothers with several friends, no one gives a damn.

2. You and your guy friends get in arguments?

Here you go. Yes! Exactly what I'm talking about. If I could have gotten Kim K, however, I think my stance on this matter would more than likely change lmao

I am kind of clueless wrt to women as a result of being quite overweight when I was 18-27 and also a social recluse. Now I lost a lot of weight and I am getting out there a bit and having some small successes but it is a really slow learning process. Was drinking w/ a girl and acted really lame and jealous and out of control towards her, kind of upset about that but at least I realize the mistakes I made and will behave better in the future. Also, note: go out and socialize more!

haha yeah Kim K is my G.O.A.T.

wow i cant imagine starting that late, still better late than never.

i think thats the best approach is just go go out as much as possible (unless you think you need "time off" from dating and just go over all the mistakes you think youve made).

yeah i'm not too happy about my timing either, but nothing i can do about that. thx for the advice

I also wouldn't date a friends ex. It's not worth losing a friend. Bros before hoes and all that ****. Haha

Women aren't objects. People get horny. Everyone needs sex. If she wants to sleep with you, thats great, just dont ask me for permission like im her father. It's none of my business who people have sex with. Nobody should be coming to me to ask for an OK beforehand.

People get so possessive and bent out of shape over silly stuff like this all the time. I don't get it. If you're that kind of person then you have issues you need to work out.

I could care less how I come across to someone asking for my permission because it's 90% that same dude who's asking my permission is the same dude that feels in your words buthurt over having been lol back stabbed. Dude has issues.

I just want a smart girl with a dumb booty

I think I might have found one. Wrapping her up.

Telling friends random stories from my trip. One of the girls stops me to say "You realize she was hitting on you, right?". Yep. I'm still clueless.

If you're completely clueless and getting hit on by attractive girls that means you're good looking. Being clueless is much much easier to fix than being unattractive.

I'm not that good looking. That being one of the reasons that I talk myself out of seeing the signs I might notice at times. I wouldn't say I'm ugly. But I'm like 5'10 and skinny as ****. And I sort of got the read too, but didn't act on it.

I think you can be hit on by girls while in conversation (without noticing it) without being good looking. Though it helps.

I also think that if you're an unusual (and not fat) physical type, some people are just going to like that a lot. Like girls with red hair - most people don't care much but some people are utterly driven by the idea of girls with red hair. I'm not sure how it is in Finland, but very skinny is in for men in London at the moment.

Being very skinny is going to be better than being over weight with like 80-90% of girls. You could always start eating and working out though, I wish I was skinny trying to bulk instead of the other way around.

Also depends on how you're dressing. If you're skinny you should be able to find lots of nice clothes that fit you well and that can help boost confidence.

Hope that trend makes it here. I definitely know skinny is better than fat, and that some might like it. Though I don't think people will prefer it over somebody fit. And I do dress well, which certainly works in my advantage, and might make me look better than I really am.

She was out of my league, and I'd guess a couple of years older than me. Those things also sort of made me tell myself she wouldn't be interested.

This was talked about earlier itt

Need to have the mindset that nobody is out of your league. Any girl would be happy to be with you, and if they aren't interested it's their loss. This mindset can help with any rejection also.



In reality though, all ppl are different and some are just gonna be attracted to different things. There are girls I find attractive that my friends think are just ok and visa versa. So getting shut down is no big deal it just means you weren't a match.


Moral of the story is just go for it.

Def this, Im not super attractive by any mean but am decently good looking and that has carried me past my cluelessness more than a few times.

I don't think you necessarily want to think nobody is out of your league - it's the same as confidence, you have to earn it. But I do agree it's a damaging idea.