Hey guys. New username since the hack but I didn't post much so w/e.

Anyway, looking for some opinions that are relevant to the recent discussion. How many times do you be the one to arrange a date with the same girl before you expect her to reciprocate a little? For instance, been on two great dates with a girl I like a lot. I know through a mutual friend that she's had a great time both occasions and there's good chemistry between us, so it's very promising. I've arranged the 3rd date. Is it standard for the guy to arrange all dates until you become exclusive/progress things whence she'll naturally start to be more suggestive with dates etc? Or is the better play to have our 3rd date, then wait for her to get in touch?

Cheers.

If it really went that well I imagine not contacting her for a while will force her to set something up. If she's interested she'll make it happen.

How alpha (or lackey) is it if I drive a girl to school or home if we live like 2minutes away from each other ? Like if we have the same class i would pick her up and drive her to school, if i didnt do this she would take the bus. I am not pursuing this girl (although she is hot and i would sleep with her) and i am not driving her so that she will sleep with me etc. Should i not drive her home if i actually was pursuing her ? I feel like i am just being a normal human being since i think it would be weird to not drive her due to the close proximity in which we live.

Sounds like you're in high school in which case it's very standard for the older kids to drive their friends who live in close proximity, no big deal. I gave rides to plenty of chicks in HS I wasn't trying to f*ck.

Edit: Reread it, I guess you're not in HS? Still seems fine to me.

ya we are both in uni but she is younger then me fwiw

This seems like a pretty good thread with some cool posts and advice. Sooo here we go..

I had a 4 year relationship and it ended this summer(I just turned 23)
While standing in a bar w friends I noticed some cute girls across the place and realized that I don't have any game...it's not outdated it's just non-existent. I never picked up a girl from scratch. I was always in an environment were I met girls through someone, friend of a friend or some **** like that and it just happened from there.
Do I just walk up and talk to them leaving myself completely exposed? Not just in a bar but in different places as well. I mean obv it could be a good thing to show confidence (I'm pretty sure I would mess up a few times, but that can be funny even and not necessarily a complete disaster). I feel I only need the right mindset(being ready to get rejected).
Anyways I wanted to ask what do you guys mostly?

This is always a good choice:

Wrist Watch

Just like with cards, the answer to almost any question itt is "it depends." It largely depends on your personality.

What's your personality type like on your own? Are you naturally extroverted/introverted? How big is your social circle? What types of people do you find yourself hanging out with mostly? What do you spend most of your spare money on? How much partying/drinking/drugs do you do?

For really extroverted people, the cold approach tends to work better than most. Personally, I'm pretty extroverted. A lot of times if I were to ever try to chat a girl up (let's say at a bar), I'd find a good break in the conversation and try to just interject something that was either funny or interesting (usually tried to go for funny). Next thing I knew, I was in the conversation. It sounds abrasive and potentially awkward when I type it out like that, but I rarely if ever remember feeling awkward or intrusive after just joining the conversations like that. I'm sure there are tons of ways to **** it up though.

What are you trying to accomplish out of this? I just don't see why you care if you come off as "alpha" or not. Are you good friends or something? Seems like a good way to get to know her a bit.

New posters coming out the woodworks. Glad to see it.

Thanks, yeah basically what I was thinking. No chance she maybe just thinks "oh he isn't interested" though?

The first 2 'dates' have been going out for drinks. For the next on Monday, I have planned to take her for a picnic. Is that a bit much for a 3rd date? Personally think it's a really cool idea but can't decide whether it's a bit full-on or not. I told her that what we'll be doing is a surprise so that I'm insured in case this idea sucks.

I'm a pretty extroverted person- my friends would prolly describe me as the guy who just can't shut the **** up.
I don't have any problems w meeting new ppl thus my social circle is is pretty big, but while I had a steady relationship I didn't really make an effort to meet new girls(I guess that is normal). I mean I talked to girls just with different motives, the talking to random girls w the intention of picking them up is a new thing to me tho.
I guess being funny and not trying too hard should help. Also I can see how the whole jumping in the convo can work pretty well...but I guess I will have plenty of stories how to **** these things up pretty soon

Well, hello there sir
glad to have found this thread

Another way to start up a conversation if you dont think you can just strike up conversation and interject yourself is to bring up a common topic about the situation you are in. For example I have talked to a few girls before when the bar is packed and we are sort of waiting for a clearance to move to a different part of the bar. You can strike up and say something about how packed the bar is, whether funny or whatever, then after a couple lines introduce yourself. You dont have to continue talking to them you cna break away, but you planted a seed which is always good. later if you see them at the bar again(like ordering a drink or on the dancefloor) your conversation will start easier.

Other topics can be the bartender taking a long time to serve/a fight that happened earlier in the night/funny karaoke being sung/old school song played by DJ/etc.

Which reminds me. I really think the plant a seed is underrated for the one reason that girl get hit on all the ****ing time at a bar, most guys are horrible at this. If you plant a seed in a very short conversation then leave before you have a chance to **** it up, she may not start dwelling on you right away, but once she gets a few creepy guys who annoy her constantly she will often times take this neutral interaction that you two had and it will start to become better in her mind. She will wonder why you didnt overtly hit on her. So next time you approach her she may be relieved that it wasnt another creepy guy.

Depends on so many factors that there isn't really an answer to this. I have never been a fan of the just walk on over and start talking to them approach but other guys do that and it works for them

+1

Plus she might even come find you and you've also set things up so that when you run into her again you'll have approval so that wil help if she has friends.

Striking up the common "problem" is one of the worst things to do imo.
Everyone knows the bar is packed, this is such an obvious move.

Just dont bother to do anything right there unless you come up with something clever. If you've waited with them in line, you can use this as a common denominator to strike up a conversation later on, when things are a lot more relaxed.

Well i obviously dont yell out

"THIS BAR SO PACKED HUH?????!?!?!/!"

bust out dat cleverness

tell her she has pretty eyes

Stare at her vag, once she notices you, look her in the eyes and ask her:

"Are you gonna eat that?"

Lol

Stop worrying. I'd let her set something. Picnic sounds like dog****. Maybe girls like that but seems weird to me this early on.

+100000000

Thought Id tell this thread what I did today

I went down to church and took a vow that Im forever getting paid, then I heard on the radio on my way home that life is a beach so Im forever getting laid