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Originally Posted by abcdefghijk
so i had this long fb chat with this girl (same girl i've been posting about in this thread) that went great. we had a friendly, flirty, but non-sexual chat. she called me handsome, a great guy, and interesting and said "you know i think you're really cute."
A good sign, but not really a lock for anything.
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she also said she'd text me if she had some free time and wanted to hang out, but she left it very up in the air. she hinted that she wanted me to stop asking her out like i did before, though, and that instead she wanted to take the initiative when she felt like it.
Yeah, I don't like this. How did she hint at it? I need more info before passing judgment.
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one problem is two guys who live on her floor are after her, and she hangs out with them more than with me. she's probably more physically attracted to me, but those guys are experts around women, and one of those guys has gone out with her to a concert and a dance.
Meh don't worry about this ****. Who gives a **** about other dudes at this point? As things progress, this is something you can consider and address once you have more info. Also, try not to lock in to that "I need to get THIS girl" attitude. That can put you on a path to failure. Be aloof and don't act like you are in a competition.
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imo i got her physically hooked but i need to get her emotionally hooked.
also i'm not looking for a one night stand with her. i'd like to develop a relationship.
next steps/advice on what to do/say?
Well, I really can't answer this until I hear more about the "hinting" thing, but be careful to not make yourself too available with the gchats/facebook chats. Don't be constantly IMing her every time she gets on. Play it aloof, and don't let yourself, borrowing a PUA term here, get one-itis and psych yourself out.
Re: the "not hooking up with her on the first or second date" thing. If you have an opportunity to kiss her (I'm not saying you should hook up with her) and you turn it down out of some sort of master plan, that's not going to work. Appearing asexual and not taking the initiative, especially if the opportunity is there, is not going to help you. Obviously if you are going out on a date with her, she knows you are interested. You aren't playing some super clever meta-game by not kissing her. Yes, push and pull, but if the opportunity for a kiss is there and you pass it up, then you're a fool. You don't have to "hook up" with her per se, but you do need to show some sort of initiative with attraction.
The whole "you have to appear distant and not too into her and push and pull" thing is very important, but some people take it way too far and don't know when to stop. You need to let someone know you are interested eventually if you want something to happen lol.