This was very true of law school relationships which was ******ed since nothing beats planning a wedding while working the 100-120 hour weeks of articling while competing for one associates position for every four articling students. Most of the relationships imploded before they got too far into the planning.

Henry--

We've lived together the last two summers while I was doing research with a prof at her uni. We did well living together and I very much enjoyed it. She enjoys doing the chores that I hate and I enjoy the chores she hates.

As far as the fitness thing goes... I'm not especially worried about it worsening. She has specific workouts that she enjoys a lot but I think her schedule during the week (for now) sort of limits her. One of the many good things about her though is that I could be honest with her about it if it became a problem. I'd just feel like an ******* now because most guys would be like "omgwtf are you talking about" but since I'm very active I don't think it's totally unreasonable to expect the same. OTOH she says she wants to get back to where she was in undergrad but doesn't seem to get around to it while school is going on. Again, it's hard for me to decipher if this is just because of her current schedule or because she's sort of all talk on the subject. FWIW the situation has not deteriorated since we started dating (actually improved a little) but I've seen pictures of her when she was playing still and I almost passed out thinking about it.

She will likely look for a job in the city where I am doing my work but could also take a job where she currently goes to school.

I pretty much want kids. She's tried to talk me into replacing kids with multiple dogs, but I'd rather just have both. I'm 90% set on this one while she is 90% set the other way.

For now she also has h/w and research on the weekend so it's working very well. I doubt this will continue once she's taken a job however.

I think this is more of a function of me being able to move past things. I have not met another girl I'm remotely as compatible with. However, if something did happen I'd throw myself into my work/fitness for a while to clear my head and eventually move on to other girls. I have no idea how long it would take her to do that.

Sean,

Ever cheated on your girlfriend?

Mullen,

No I have not. I have not entertained the idea either. Why do you ask?

If you want kids and she dosent then its not gotta work. I have only ever dated chicks that were pretty into sport/fitness so wont comment on B+ as opposed to A.

Sean,

Was just wondering since you seem to think you'd move on reasonably from a breakup whereas your girlfriend would be super devastated and never get over it. While over it is not really definable I think you are overestimating how much the breakup would affect her. It sounds like you have a lot of issues with the relationship in its current state.

If you were to break up it would be a good idea to do it quickly as living hours away will make it easier. Doesn't have to be a permanent breakup but just the fact that you are having all these issues is concerning. Henry's posts are good.

Based on my admittedly very small sample, I couldn't agree more with this...it's such a super easy way to meet people, have a good time and establish a group of people to hangout with. Unless you're in a group of a few close friends and are comfortable/content with just sticking to yourselves for the entire time I can't see going past hostels for accommodation..the advantages severely outweigh any disadvantages imo

It was a list of concerns I'd have before getting engaged to the girl. At the moment we have no issues... we've had 2 fights in the almost 2 years we've been together, both of which I started on accident and were resolved in a few hours.

I know she wouldn't deal well with it because she is 100% sure I'm "the one" while I'm not yet decided based on what I wrote out. If (1) - (4) were resolved permanently I'd marry her in a second.

And I'd never cheat on her... I would have broken up with her before I was tempted.

Maybe I should rephrase my concern this way:

Is it reasonable for me to be concerned if she's not in the same shape she was when she was a Div. I athlete? Obviously there are softball fatties and what not, but she was a soccer player so she ran around for 2 hours every day. Does me being extremely active change it being reasonable/unreasonable to be concerned?

It's not like she sits around eating Dorito's all day... she has DD's and weighs ~115lbs. She just doesn't quite look like how she did when she was in undergrad.


And yes the kids are a big hurdle that I have no idea how to figure out.

The kids thing would be resolved before a potential engagement for sure. But thank you for the input.

Also, we have lived together 2 summers already and it went well.

Pretty sure we need before/after pics to really tell if you're being fair here or not

expecting someone in good shape who is working 12 hours a day to work out more than 3 times a week is pretty absurd, yes. even more so when she has expressed a desire to do even more once she is working less

that said, I'd say you guys only have like a 20% chance of getting married

Don't listen to him, this is too premature of an evaluation without more info to go off of

Yes the fact that she is 115lb DD makes the pics more necessary. Im pretty sure I call about 98% with those stats. I'm leaning towards Sean being kinda nitty on the appearance part alone

Even as someone who works out a lot I agree with this post. Those are long days and I can see why working out after them isnt going to be on the top of the list

If she's like 5'2" or something she might be a little chunky. Those are great stats on paper though

Unless she is insanely short her weight sounds fine. I wouldn't be that concerned. Personally Im attracted to girls who enjoy exercise and eat well. If she's still doing both of these things she will be fine.

Tons of girls in hostels are hot. Most 18-25 year old girls just don't have a lot of money. They aren't going to be staying at the four seasons. Backpacking is a super vague overused term also, you can still pack light and enjoy your trip comfortably/ bring your makeup bag. + Alot of girls at hostels aren't "Backpacking" rather they are taking a small trip for a few days to a week.

But its not even just about girls. You are more likely to meet cool people in general staying at a hostel when you are sub 30.

Anyways, I hate the shared spaces in hostels, I absolutely hate them and refuse to use them. But fortunately almost every hostel will sell you a private room for probably half the price of a nearby hotel, sometimes less. Theres 0 downside here as you get to take advantage of all the community stuff the hostel offers while having ur own quiet crash spot.

What you do get is access to a staff that knows fun **** young people like to do, how to score drugs, find crazy adventures, and where to go get ****ed up (often they run pub crawls etc. out of the hostel or even have sick bars right there)

The downside is that the rooms and the facilities are crap.

And Henry's point is that you can go and do that stuff without needing the crutch of the hostel. The people who go to hostels also tend to have little money so you end up doing different types of things. I don't hate the idea, but I don't think it's a trivial choice to always stay in hostels.

I think you are overstating how poor travellers are. Although generally you are correct that younger people tend to have less money a decent percentage do have money either their own or more likely from mommy and daddy.

The actual flaw in your argument is that you are only considering travelling girls which is a negligible and completely unimportant demographic relative to the much more important local girls demographic. While it might be true that young girls can't afford $300-500+ a night to stay at a boutique hotel it costs nothing (except maybe a cab ride) to go the trendy lounge at that hotel. I guarantee you that Wonderbar at the W will easily destroy any hostel in Montreal for % of hot girls. This is pretty much true of any good venue.

Even more important is the guy's ability to close. Lets continue the party at my suite at trendy luxury hotel is a much easier sell then do you want to come back to my ****ty hostel.

This doesn't change the fact that we are still talking shared facilities for the most part and not the best security. Even a nice hotel you are at a disadvantage to home but at least it is minimal. At a hostel you have pretty much everything working against you. I guarantee you that if you pick any of the girls who are remotely attractive at a hostel and then see them out on their own turf they will be much hotter at home. Anyone who disagrees with this fails to understand how much effort women put into their physical appearance before going out.

Cool is a difficult to define term but by whatever metric you measure "coolness" hostels are greatly at a disadvantage to any other venue. That is unless by cool you mean poor people who will not judge other poor people for their inability to afford to do anything that costs money.

Ok..

It's not even really about meeting 'cool' people, more the meeting in general. What other venues/accommodation do you suggest would be better to establish a group of friends/acquaintances to hangout out during the day/go to group dinners etc?