my all caps post was clearly a reference to drudgereport

when there's a breaking story he puts the headline in all caps followed up by DEVELOPING

get with the modern times people

No you are 100% right. Girls like knowing you are seriously interested in seeing them and treating whatever date you may go on as an actual, like, date. Saying stuff like "message me when you're free" or "we should hang out some time" is really just code for "i'm afraid of getting rejected so I'm gonna say something fakely nonchalant because I think you're busier/cooler/hotter than me and pretend I don't really care about you when it's obvious I do".

This is well put, actually.

Given the overall circumstances of what I was posting about, I still don't think I made an error that will really hurt me in this case (as I said, worst case scenario is that I don't see or hear from her this weekend and I can try again next week).

However, this post did a good job of crystallizing the normal problems with taking the line that I did.

I feel like we (as guys) can't win. So if you don't pose it to her as an open-ended, "let me know when you're free" type deal, you have to be like "oh well let's do ____ on _____day" and when she's like "I have plans that day which consist of ______" you have to be like (to yourself) "fml is that a rejection or is that a legit excuse?" and then be like "oh well ok" and try asking her again some other time and possibly have to deal with the same thing.

This stuff tilts me.

An interested girl will generally counter-offer. If the excuse isn't accompanied with when she WILL be free...most of the time, you're out of luck. Depending on her tone, etc., you might try again, but two excuse-laden rejections without a counter-offer and you can safely move on.

This.

I disagree, but I really don't have time to explain why.

Then you get a continuance until tomorrow, at which point default judgment will be entered in favor of my opinion if we haven't heard further reason.

Thats encouraging lol, because i'm always so stuck in that situation so am gonna try that from now on. Ty TUTS you the man.

lol ty but im really not the man. just tired of sitting back and not going for what i want. sure, she gave me really encouraging signs, but she wasnt going to ask me for my number.

karak, would like your input on what i should do about friday. i dont want our first hangout to be drunk at a bar. but i kinda invited her to the bar. should i just call her and see where the convo goes?

I feel like you're overthinking this. Gauge her interest level about going to the bar. If low, suggest something else. If high, then go to the bar w/ her and have fun. If you don't want to be drunk w/ her the first time you hang out, pace your drinking and just have a couple beers or something. You guys will have fun, don't worry about it.

well i just dont think going to the bar with her and my friends will be the best play. i dont know her, and she doesnt know my friends. and shes never even been out to a bar apparently lol. i'd rather go out with my friends friday night and then chill with her saturday night. but i dont want to have to explicitly say to her that id rather her not come along with me and my friends, ya know?

Whatever you do, TUTS, chillllllllllllllll out.

I know you'll be thinking about it a lot going up until the actual date, but you can't give that off to her, or it's game over before you even get to the castle*.

Just be relaxed, include her in all of the conversations, flirt, have fun!

If it's not gonna happen, don't change who you are to make it happen. See - pedestal.

*I just thought of something random, I'll post it in the no content thread.

I'm sure your friends won't mind.

I think it may also be ok to reschedule with her to Saturday. Forgive me for not knowing the history, but did you make any firm plans with her yet or just a general Friday offer?

That said, I don't like bringing an underage girl to a bar, especially if she has never been. She will be too amazed and awe-struck at the bar scene to pay any attention to you. I would take her somewhere where she will be less distracted and will be more likely to pay attention to you.

No I don't have any ideas. Go bowling. hahaha.

I would stay away from the bar for the aforementioned reasons. Try to come up with a valid substitute to offer before you call. Like, "Oh my gsoh I saw x concert on Y night... we should do that." and come up wit hsome sort of excuse why Friday night bar is a bad idea or don't even make ane xcuse. Just say Saturday will work better. I dunno, but I think the bar is a bad idea given the context here.

I'm writing this really quick and have to run, but I'll check in a bit later.

I mean I used to be pretty bad but this post blew my mind haha

TUTS,

Where do you go to school? Seems insane to me that the bars are so lenient with carding, totally opposite here...

Also, call her and feel her out regarding the bar. If you think she doesn't sound all that enthusiastic about it, have a contingency plan, Saturday is fine, just have something to do that you can ask about. Sounds like you're pretty in to see her though, just keep being confident, gl

go to the bar friday and bang some girl for warmups.

Note on potential E (I am not giving out the designation of 'E' to any girl lightly. She must earn it!):

Friend of A's that is in town this weekend. Doesn't live too far away. Joined ABD and I for lunch (yeah, I'm serious. Yes I found the irony hilarious). A almost seemed like she was trying to set me up with potential-E or something. I noticed PE was cute and exceedingly friendly, so I decided to put some effort in and I basically put on a comedy show for the group for 30-45 minutes. B left just as I started this (had class). That's too bad. I find caffeine is good fuel for me to do this. I had them laughing for 15 minutes straight simply using a banana to mimic facial expressions, mustaches and to construct sexual innuendos. It was amazing. The value of being funny in not only gaining friends but attracting girls cannot be overstated. If you aren't funny, work on it.

PE was visiting people in town, but I convinced her to join us tomorrow afternoon for an activity (honestly it was almost too easy for me to do this, so I still suspect some sort of scheming by A. To what end I have no idea) and she might come out with us tomorrow night. I think you guys can see the dilemma I just caused myself. How do I resolve it?

PS on another note, A made a comment today that clearly indicated she was aware of the meltdown that happened last Saturday involving me, B and gf-guy. A wasn't there, so obviously B went home and talked about it.

D to me after lunch, referencing PE: "See? That girl is attractive, seems fun and smart and hasn't given off any psycho vibes yet. And you said such girls don't exist."

They don't D. They don't.

Cute ninja-delete TUTS. I hope you didn't actually do that.

So Karak, you're dilemma is what exactly? Having A seemingly hooking you up w/ PE while knowing B is into you? Or having B as a hookup in waiting but now PE is in the mix?

Btw, that was awesome TUTS. Good job.

Honestly I might be over-reading into A's motives here. I could just be creating that in my head, but something definitely felt off in my gut about the way A was acting. I don't think I give A enough credit sometimes, and now I'm probably over-thinking her actions. But she's definitely a lot smarter and cleverer (is that really a word?) than I originally thought.

And yeah, resolving both (if PE joins us) while out could be an issue. I dunno. We'll see. I haven't thought about my plan for the weekend yet. I was going to try to go out one-on-one with B Saturday maybe? Depends on Friday. ****. I have a midterm a week from Monday.

Anyways I can't really think straight on anything until after my job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck.

lol i didnt but i was gonna play along but i took 2 nyquils and decided there will be a better time to level in the future.

Yeah you could just see how things go with PE on Friday while still setting something up with B on Saturday. Isn't PE just a hookup, at best, considering she is simply visiting friends while B is casual relationship material? I guess I would try to keep things smooth with B if a potential dilemma arises.

ty, but to everyone saying good job, congrats, etc., i have to say it was one of the easier things. i cant believe i havent done more of it in the past. it was so simple. no weekend plans, hang out with me. done and done.

hopefully my dumb ass will be able to help someone else over come the fear.

SHIPPPPPPP

..long time listener, third/fourth/fifth time caller, but I just wanted to chime in and extend the winning streak that this thread's participants have managed to muster up this week.

<3 12:30am calls to hoodrats houses for clearly false pretenses. now if only I didn't have class in 6 hours..