Surprise, I am American. Some background:I am a late 30's male, college educated doing a job I love. I am a PGA Professional and the Facility GM for a golf course/hotel combo. I easily work 60 hours a week and have 2 children that I spend almost all of my free time with.

My wife and I often have small arguments about the hours professional people put in. My thought is if you are going to be successful you have to strive to be the best. To me the hours are a byproduct of working to achieve that goal. I tell her 60 is reasonable for professional/salaried people.

The average household income in the region I live in is, I believe, around $50k annually. Hard to break that as an hourly worker and to double that number (which is still a small amount to many Balla poker players) takes a certain amount of dedication and time committment.

Just curious how many share my thoughts, or am I a chump?

I work 40-45 hours a week and make nearly $100k.

I'd never work 60 hours a week for more than a very short duration. My stomach goes to acid reflux hell, I'm exhausted, I miss my wife and kids, they hate me because I'm never there, I get flabby because there's no time for the gym...

If you got a boss to convince you that working 60s was standard for a 40 hour a week salary then you are a chump.

I make $90k and work a MAX of 35 hours a week. Usually less.

I also get 28 days paid holiday a year.

No idea why you work so hard

I work 10 hours a day 5 days a week...and make 31K

I've worked as a GM before. Your wife is out of line and she needs to wise up. It's a typical wife complaint, but complaining how many hours a man is working is among the worst and most damaging to a relationship.

GM jobs often are very demanding of time. And you can bet that while your wife may let you know she doesn't like you working 60 hours a week, if she's like most, she'd quickly make clear to you, one way or the next, that she didn't like the diminished money and status getting a lower-level job would stick you with. You're essentially being asked to choose your poison, not to eliminate the poisoning.

Some people just like to complain. Is your wife a housewife? If so, that's not a job that is as fulfilling as people like to say it is. It keeps you out of adult contact too much, and while it provides many emotional challenges and learning opportunities, it doesn't challenge the brain on a high-operating, adult level much. It can feel very stultifying. The result of a spouse's unhappiness with his or her own life is very often directly or indirectly blaming their partner, or taking it out on them. This kind of situation is very hard for lots of people to break out of. Especially since doing so takes extra work.

If your wife is a housewife, and your situation is anything near what I'm describing, she needs adult interests. Not just raising kids; it's not stimulating enough. She needs interests she can share with other high-functioning adults who are also in the process of constantly learning intellectually difficult new things. Going to classes of some sort, developing compelling hobbies or intellectual interests, working toward a degree -- these are probably necessary for most adults to be happy. They need adult-level mental participation in society, and adult-level intellectual or career-based goals. All respect for motherhood aside, helping Johnny grow up full of self-esteem is a wonderful thing, and may be demanding in its own way, but it is far from hard core mental stimulus. Despite its rewards, it can be a very emotionally and spiritually stressful dead-end for a lot of women.

28, wow that's very nice.

Your situation is very nice all around. Not many people can match that.

You here teachers really are underpaid but my mom makes around 75k and works 186 days a year.

She has been teaching for along time with a rank 1 but that is still alot of money for only working half the year.

While I agree that my situation is quite nice. 35 hours and 20+ days holiday is fairly standard for UK/Europe.

The Brits are supposed to be the hardest workers in Western Europe. God knows what the averages are for the French and Germans. I assume 35 hour week is standard but I gather they get more holidays

Actually, that's pretty standard if you hail from a Scandinavian country and are decently educated / entrepreneurial.

Thanks for the replies, Blarg said it best. I do not receive a 40 hr a week salary, there is profit sharing, bonuses, etc. I am paid what I am worth and nicely above average compensation for my position.

My wife works, I think I convince her to because she should have outside stimulation which I believe is good for her mental health and our relationship (only 20 hrs a week while kids are in school).

The 60 hrs feels like 10, in my mind I am not over 40 hrs a week but extra issues pop up. If you loved your job, spent time with your family, would you NEVER get over 40 hours?

I don't think of myself as a chump, I think of myself as a business professional who has the ability to make or break the business. I expect to be compensated accordingly.

FWIW the 60 hours a week is April through October. The rest of the year is 35-45. I do struggle with the "working (killing myself) for the man". I like to think I am helping myself and my family achieve our life goals.

This is a superb post; I reserve a special level of anger for housewives who enjoy all the trappings of the lifestyle their husbands' hard work provides them, and then bitch about the fact that their husbands are working so hard.

I know of one woman whose husband is an EMERGENCY NEUROSURGEON. He obviously works a lot of hours and sometimes odd hours. He also makes a bazillion dollars a year and they live in a mansion and have two vacation homes, 4 cars, a live-in nanny, etc. She doesn't have to do a [censored] thing and she's always complaining about how hard her husband works. I'd really like to punch her in the face.

I work way way too much, and I don't make that much money, but working hard to achieve that goal is part of the journey. I enjoy every bit of it when I am not actually working.

I work a 40 hour week, and study about 20 hours a week for certification exams to keep moving up, but I am home while I study. I don't get to focus on the kids during study time, but they know I'm there; and in the case of my elder I hope I'm instilling good habits in her as she knows Daddy does a lot of homework.

I thought this was an interesting post. I don't see why complaining how many hours your man works is the most damaging thing to a relationship. Doesn't it mean the wife wants to spend more time with the husband? I don't see that as necessarily undermining.

Also, while I'm sure plenty of women love material things such as huge houses and fancy cars, there are still some who would be willing to sacrifice just to have their guy around more. You make it sound like all women are ridiculously materialistic and selfish.

I think he doesn't mean all women, he said "most". Regardless, I think it is not exactly about singling out women, men would probably do the same thing. It is that people don't know exactly how materialistic they are. It is very easy to say you're not materialistic when you have everything you want (in terms of material stuff), but it is a different thing once the money flow comes down and you can't get the same dress you got last time (or say for guys, the same set of golf clubs or whatever the equivalent is).

Thanks Enrique. You picked out just what I meant, and not just on the surface.

All of us tend to bullsh*t ourselves and, carry that violation forward to others. It's so easy to criticize from a distance. One of the saddest things I can think of is that one partner's sacrifice for the other, especially for the FAMILY(and I think capslock is completely appropriate here), is slighted or taken for granted. It is really destructive to spike someone in the eye for doing their very best out of love.

Especially when you get completely honest and admit that if they tried something else, that would get trashed too anyway. I mean, if people can't even love each other and appreciate each other's sacrifices, what can they appreciate in anyone, and what are they worth to their partner? Or to anyone, any next partner along the line? Sacrifice is a brutal thing, but nothing near so brutal and coarse as sacrifice unappreciated.

Not all women. Most people. Sex isn't necessarily involved. Though if you were a man, you'd probably see it's involved vastly more than you think.

The world is no joke.

And many people do not know themselves.

My wife and I both make about the same. I work 40 hrs. virtually every week, occasionally a few more. She works at least 40 and sometimes 50. She gets paid OT, so the extra hrs. = extra money. I'd give the money up in a second to have her home more. Time w/ wife >>>> extra money to buy things we probably don't need. Now, if a spouse is working extra because that's what allows the family to live in the lifestyle they are accustomed to, then that spouse should obviosuly not be criticized for it. Like Blarg said, it obv should be much appreciated.

America has lower income tax than most of the rest of the first world. Bigger slice of takehome pay = more incentive to work. We've also got some structural things going on, we have a larger percentage of our workforce salaried, which makes it a little easier for employers to bump up hours.

But most of it's probably cultural, to me it seems that people are more concerned with getting wealthy in the US, so they're willing to put in the extra hours not only for the money, but for the increased chance of promotion.

Other first-world countries have socialized medicine and education. Americans must work much harder to pay for both. They also have a later retirement age than some first-world countries. So much of our working so many hours per year is to catch up on necessaries or store up money for anticipated major expenditures.

You know how they report on the increase in American productivity? Some of that is due to technology, etc. Some of that is because they cut the workforce. Mind you, the work hasn't decreased. Same amount of work (or more.) Fewer people to do it.

In my industry, we all agree that things were easier 10 years ago. More and more is expected of each employee. If you're salaried, you're not punching the clock and the work is due when it's due.

As a business owner, it gets even better. There are some things you just can't delegate.

I have strong workaholic tendencies, but money is not the motivation. (Of course it is to the extent that we depend on it to live.) I do it because others depend on me.

I'm also seriously working on curbing my workaholic side.

I must say I was really surprised to find out how much mandatory holiday/vacation pay most other countries have.


It just blows me away that we have 0 days, and countries even like mexico are given a week. Everyone in this country deserves some sort of vacation time, whether you are the fast food guy down the street, to the ski mechanic at my local ski hill. It amazes me that this isn't talked about more in this country.

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In this country it's thought unpatriotic to discuss its failings and shortcomings. We're always told that we're the best at everything and that nobody else has it anywhere near as good and that we're on a mission from God. And by and large we tend to believe most of it. It's not a very mature society.

England - most people work 40 hours a week standard, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less (Obviously jobs like trading and Doctors don't apply here). Hardly anyone works on a Saturday, or only occasionally when the workload is big. They have 4-5 weeks paid holiday usually.

60 hours over here is considered a ridiculous workload - I always see peices in the news and the crazy hours doctors have to put in (usually around 60).

I think I'd be much much happier having a 9-5 job with 4 weeks holiday that doesn't pay nearly as well than a 60 hour a week job with hardly any holiday that pays much better (obviously kids etc would change my view here).