Last thing you wanna do is get your lymph circulating with cancer. That's how metasizises. Anyways, bump for update.

Bump for update +1

I don't know what to say. I've read trough the whole thread, and I'm amazed at your positive mindset. Wow.

I have to thank you, for sharing. For being so strong. Really, I never expected to read anything like this on a pokerforum, and you've changed how I look on certain things. I admire that you have that humorous tone and the yet so grave but still straightforward approach in your writing.

Even tough I don't know you, I'd like to. Drink a beer with you while watching a hockey game, hoping to learn how to apply that positive mindset of yours.

I've lost too many of my friends to cancer, same with family. I've forgotten the bright sides, the good times we had joking around. Sadly, I got stuck with the tears, instead of remembering the happy few moments we spent together before they left. Your posts awakened those feelings again, and I'll cherish them this time, smile instead of lowering my head while letting out a sigh.

Now, you're still fighting, and I love the way you're kicking that damned cancers' arse. Please, give it a real good beating ( Don't get the wrong idea, nothing pervert like here ) for me.

Bad cancer jokes.

Sitting around with a friend and my GF talking about books and eating right. Dave starts talking about some book called "you are what you eat". My response is "oh, I guess i'm toast".

For some reason did not get the laughs I expected. Timing I guess.

I laughed. Glad to see you still have your sense of humor.

Update

Last week went to the big city to see the Hemotoligist and try to confirm dates for the bone marrow transplant. We need to know now as we have to find a rental for a month for after transplant.

Transplant is on (unless I get sick). My protein levels are down, which are the cancer markers. Blood cells are up as they don't have to compete with some many cancer cells in the bone marrow.

• May 18-28 - final round of Chemo
• June 1-9 - Stem cell collection in Vancouver - you get a drug to make your own stem cells go to your blood for 4 days then they filter the stem cells out and freeze.
• June 19-21 - prep and testing for transplant including hickman tube in chest - Hickman line scares me - silcone tube to your heart that hangs out of your chest for a month.... although it does mean no needles.
• June 22-23 - Chemo of death and transplant the next day.
• June 24-July 20+ try not to get infected, get many blood transfusions, drug, antibiotics, puke, sleep, whine, bitch, write a crappy novel, etc.
• July 20sh....hopefully go home.
• Fall....hopefully back at work
• Next year - hopefully immune system back enough to travel
• Next year - bitch that I need time off....get laughed at.

Oh...and found a nice place to rent for a month a 15 min drive to hospital.

Sounds like things are on track Merek. That is good news!

What is the Hickman tube? And what cells are they using for stem cells?

I thought it was funny too, but I would've said something about not drinking enough jagermeister or something. (You're corrupting us, now I'm making jokes about cancer)

I could have sworn someone in this thread (OP?) saying that considering how many cells there are in the body and how easy it is to damage them he's surprised cancer doesn't happen all the time, but for the life of me I can't find it. Just in case I'm not hallucinating, right after reading that I stumbled across one of the newest TED talks explaining how it actually does - probably just about everyone has at least one "cancer" less than one cubic millimetre in size, but it has no blood vessels in it and can't grow any further because of that. Cancer can't start from just any crazy cell - there has to be method to its crazyness.

The TED talk later turns into a disappointing fruitcake mumbo jumbo, but the beginning is illuminating.

Cell damage is axiomatic, and we all likely have cancerous cells, and there is no doubt that many of us have cysts or odd-ball growths. The body is truly amazing, as it already has specific phagocytes (i think it's that class of white blood cells) that focus on cancerous cells, so we are always "fighting cancer." Interesting to note that over 85% of men will have an enlarged prostate at some point in their life, but only a small percentage of men will actually get cancer. Cancer is basically a genetic problem: an overcompensating mutation, since the cells can grow and never die, but that obviously backfired, so the next mutation is the cancer-eating cells. It is when the cells become overwhelmed that we start to fall apart. I didn't listen to the TED talk, but a cancer cell can grow without blood cells; it just can't metasisize, so it is labeled benign, which does not translate to "safe." Malignant only means that is can spread, which always means "dangerous."

this is the attitude to have imo

You missed the point.

There is a process called angiogenesis which means proliferation of blood vessels. It happens for an example during the healing of the wound: the blood vessels will have to be rebuilt in the scar tissue. It also generally happens when tissues are starved of oxygen - for an example wearing wrong contact lenses that squeeze a little causes blood vessels to proliferate in the cornea (speaking from experience). I guess the point of looking at cancer this way is that angiogenesis is pretty well-defined process regulated by a relatively small number of signal molecules.

Now imagine a cell starting to divide uncontrollably. The point is, in order to grow bigger than like a cubic millimetre, angiogenesis has to occur in the tumor. Even benign tumors would need to have angiogenesis to become bigger than a cubic millimetre. For an example I have a couple of small benign and AFAIK completely standard tumors on my neck (though they're perhaps just about cubic millimetre, something protruding from the skin probably has a way lower limit for size without angiogenesis because nutrients are coming from only one direction) and sure enough they have blood vessels feeding them because when I chip them they start bleeding.

The talk mentioned autopsies from car crash victims IIRC of all ages finding such tiny cubic millimetre tumours from half the women's breasts and the majority of men's prostates. I got the impression from the talk that it was precisely angiogenesis that was limiting them, and that with angiogenesis they would have become cancer, although now that you mention it perhaps some of them would have become bigger benign tumours instead.

Why am I telling you this? No particular reason. Just I could have sworn I saw someone mention how he wonders how there's not more cancer considering how it only requires one of the billions of cells to get damaged and start proliferating, and then later the same day I unrelatedly stumble across something that seemed as if it was a direct answer precisely to that question, so I felt the need to share.

Your bone marrow has stell cells in it that become all the various types of blood cells. Think of them as starter cells that can become anything.

The stem cell collection process involves 4 day of injections with a drug that causes many of the stem cells to leave the bones and go to the blood. They then collect them by circulating your blood through a centrifuge (out a tube in one arm, back in a tube in the other) sperating the stell cells and freezing them. Takes about 6-8 hrs hooked the machine one day and more the second day if they don't collect enough.

10 days later I get a nasty chemo that kills all the cells in my bones, so my body loses the ability to make any blood cells. THe day after this chemo they give me back the stem cellls. Slowly over 10-14 day the stem cells go back to the bones and start producing blood cells. During that period I don't have much of a immune system and will need many tranfusions of platlets, and red blood cells. And antibiotics, and drugs, and other stuff.

The Hickman tube is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hickman_line photo on the right side of page. I have to have this in for a month, but it lets them give me tranfusions, drugs, blood test and even feed me if needed without more needles. Currently I get needles stuck in me 5-6 times a week and during the first 14 days after transplant it would be more like 20+. Your veins start to be a real problem.

Just getting stuck with all those needles can be a psychological problem, especially if they don't tell you why. I'm not afraid of needles, but in the course of a mysterious illness as a teenager, I wound up having a panic attack of sorts from being constantly jabbed with needles at all hours of the night without explanation. It felt kind of Kafka-esque TBH.

It's a good thing you're informing yourself so thoroughly about what's going on. That will prevent the experience from getting too spooky and disorienting, keeping the anxiety at a more reasonable level.

Hi Merek,

wish you all the best for your therapy. That chemo sounds bad. I had three cycles for my testicular cancer five years ago, but it wasn't too bad.

I didn't have a Hickman line, but they gave me a central venous catheter inserted through the jugular vein for five times each. It makes you freak out a little for the first time, as the feeling is a little strange (well, you don't actually feel that much, it is just the mental image you have) but you get used to it pretty quickly.

I actually didn't have a problem with the needles even though I got lots of those too, but the problem of getting them in is getting worse and worse, as you need good spots to insert them and the "quality" of your blood vessels is decreasing from the chemo. That basically stays the same after you get well, but that is only a minor setback if you consider what you have come through.

I really want to thank you for posting this, as it reminds of what I have gone through and how great it is to be where I am now. It is easy to forget and bitch about the little things in life, just like anyone else, but surviving cancer (even one with an excellent risk prediction) should make you feel different.

So again wish you all the best.

Cancer jokes - always funny.

Getting Chemo today I ran into a old co-worker(Chemo room has 4 chairs and patients tend to chat during).

She has non hodgkin's lymphoma and had various treatments over 15+ years. Much of that time she seemed very healthy(runs, hikes, etc) She had a bad relapse last year and things were looking grim. 40yr. Currently she is on a new drug(I missed the name) that seems be working, but costs 3-5k a pop. She is on treatment 1 of 8. So likely 30-40k in drugs alone. The Canadian Med system may not adopt the new drugs the fastest, but paid is nice.

You still have to wonder, as more of the designed drugs hit the market(and cure or delay illness) and the population gets older, how the med system can keep up?

Also these drugs tend to keep us alive longer and older....and have side effects that cost the medical system in the future. Is keeping people alive til you get older a win for the medical system, the insurance industry or the goverment? For how long? Point of diminishing returns?

Fact of the day - The American cancer Assoc has spent 7 trillion dollars. They have not come up with a cure for any form of cancer.

Old people provide a great deal of social stability. They mind their grandkids so their kids can go to work, which is gigantic in many communities that keep close ties, like the hispanic one especially. They also provide a great deal of social capital -- they can help hook you up with their connections when you need a job or need an honest professional of one sort or another, or need some work done that you can rely on. They can give you a place to stay when your life goes wrong. In a way, they can function as a sort of safety net for their kids and other extended family members until their kids have been grown up for a long, long time.

So there's strong value in keeping them around until at least their grandchildren are grown. After that, the social benefit of artificially prolonging their lives isn't as clear.

It's arguable we should prolong everyone's life if possible, but the costs of doing so for old people is tremendous compared to the costs for doing it for young people. When younger people get sick, not only do they tend to be cheaper to cure because they present with less compound problems, but they are more likely to survive and thrive. And still be closer to their prime tax-paying years. Curing someone who may pay taxes and generate productive work for another 20 or 40 years does a lot more for society's coffers than curing someone who is already retired and pays a minimum of taxes.

But those social issues are hard to call, and tend to just completely freak people out.

Dollars vs Death is a issue noone wants to talk about on a large scale even but it is always there with insurance companies, med systems and individuals.

At what cost for one person are we hurting/depriving too many others. If you spend $100,000 on my cancer, it is 100K that can't be spent on 8 hip replacements. 8 people live in pain without mobility, have shorter lives, have more other health issues as a result.

.....what if with my cancer I only had a 3% of 6 month survivial??? Morally should I pass. Should my doctor/insurer/govt say no. Not cost effective?

This is the first time you've posted about a serious topic that hasn't had your usual humor inter-weaved. That makes me sad. I don't really know how to say it better, but keep on trucking. Even though things are happening that are big and serious, you need to try to stay true to yourself and not let it change you.

It's a very tough issue because nobody wants to be the bad guy and start getting down to brass tacks about it.

So we have a similar system working that nobody talks about (at least here in America) -- those who can't afford insurance, or treatment on their own dime, simply get sicker and maybe die. But at least the rest of us are spared from having to *shudder* talk about it.

I dunno, I think I'd rather get even stuff this painful more out in the open.

I definitely think it's impractical and unlikely to ask the patient to decide moral questions involving a whole societal system all by himself.

Things you learn from Cancer


How to Manage Your Poo 101

Most of us never have to think about bad poo much unless you have been on a bit a drinking binge or got some bad chicken, but cancer and drugs make poo management into a science.

You start with a bad back and too many advil....slows the flow a bit, but not too bad. Throw in some T3s with codiine and suddenly you are straining. Toss some Oxicodine in and such and the doctors are saying "before you start this you should get some stool softener". Stool softener? WTF is that?

Before we go too deeply into this dark and dirty area, let me lay out a situation. You have been taking pain pills and are all backed up. Now you start a chemo that the first warning is "diarrhea is a common side effect" and the doctor says you need to purchase imodium before going home as with this chemo you can not be dehydrated.

Humm??? 4 days of food stuck rock hard in lower intestines causing intense gas and pressure but not movement. Add above, explosive diarhea causing drug and then throw a bowel stopping drug on top if needed. Sounds dangerous. Something has to give. Has anyone seen the "Meaning of Life - waffer thin mint" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Bs1...eature=related advance to 5:15 or so for results.

So what makes your poop move anyway. Did you know your intestines are always doing a little wave action to push things along called peristalsis. Tiny little wave action that never stops...but we all know. Waves don't move rocks very fast. And rocks grind and hurt.

SO....how do we fix this. WATER... Drink more. No, not tequila. Water. Also get the poo to hold more water. Take stuff that holds water and stimultes the intestines(fibre). Simple. Avoid crappy food. If when you put it in your mouth, it quickily becomes a poo like texture(chips, processed crap, etc) it likely will not help. Unfortuantely dairy does not help either.

SO, How have I managed? Surprisingly you adjust quickly. Pain is a good teacher. Look two days ahead. Chemo coming ...start cutting out the fibre, chemo ending, add in fibre with glass of metimucil every second day, drink more. It really didn't take long to adapt to a constantly thought ahead diet and I have had few problems since early on until.........I started this anti-fungal pill every Friday that liquefiies everything and messes everything up. Tomorrow we try again. Hopefully 3rd time lucky.

Great post, Merek. Sounds like you're having to deal with a lot of ****.

awesome joke. best wishes!