Guys,

You should probably keep subsequent commerce relating to contributions towards getting Fish to post pics of him in a dress to PM. It's still not exactly kosher.

Sorry Wookie. I had my briefcase stolen that way, but was somehow lucky enough that I hadn't brought my laptop that day. Someone actually recovered the briefcase at an apartment complex in the area. Since the van doesn't have a trunk, I always take it in with me now.

Awww.

I told the Boy last year that all girls were now officially considered "girl friends" for the sake of avoiding awkward conversations. It's been obvious for quite a while that he has a steady, but it was nice when they finally admitted it to both sets of parents this weekend. (They must be masters at keeping it low key. It took their friends 9 months to figure it out.)

Scientists in Antartica found cases of 100 year old scotch.

Did they drink it???

Edit: to wash down the 1k year old mammoth they ate?

Aww that is great, em! I am impressed when I see young people that utilize tact and discretion, though I think 9 months of total secrecy is a little on the extreme side.

Just be happy that the reason they found out after 9 months wasn't because there was a little entertainme the third running around.

Public displays of affection are supposed to be against the rules at school. So, the Boy decided that whenever he sees a couple in an embrace in the hallway the correct solution is to join them, transforming it into a "group hug" situation.

It cracked me up. Genius!

His friends probably didn't realize she's usually at my house five nights a week, which explains my excitement when she decided to become a omnivore again.

I did have to give him crap for a conversation with his cousin at Christmas this year, who was trying to convince them that they should go out together. I laughed and told him, "That ship has sailed." Since we'd been avoiding awkward conversations, it was at least clear to them at that point that we weren't buying the "just friends" line.

Thug: Bite Your Tongue, Man!

I kid. You find out about those things before the baby starts crying.

someone just used the "hey what kind of dog is that your avi?" bit on me. I am now on yet another vet's ignore list. yay.

when i change it im going to put a pic of my dog in there as well... haha! jokekiller!

just say "I don't know, but he sure loves chocolate milk!"

So prop bets are not allowed on here now? I thought that was a long standing poker tradition.

Newest update. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be using a rotating supply of various feminine products as card protectors in this game. That should be funny!

Have you thought up a perfume to wear yet, Fish? Maybe something that says, I may butcher my own carcasses, but that doesn't mean I don't adore getting dressed up in sexy heels and putting on a show for the boys!

For its poetic connotations and just because it's a damn strong scent, I nominate this for Fish

Hobby,

I like your thinking. Let me suggest, though, some horrible confection from Paris Hilton. And, Fishette needs to stop by the table and ask him what perfume he's wearing.

Beyond cruel! I was going to be wearing Code Blue Standing Estrous Scent to be honest.


"She stands, he attempts to breed and Code Blue bottles her urine. You won't find peak estrous scent collected with comparable precision - each bottle contains the urine of a single proven-receptive doe. By placing this scent around your stand, you're announcing there's a doe in the immediate area that's ready to be bred and, as you know, there's absolutely nothing more important to a buck during the rut. Comes in a 1-1/2 ounce bottle. Limited Quantity. "

Ummmm.... Fishette will be dealing tomorrow so I am sure I will be hearing plenty of crap from her.

Wow, so things might be looking up for me. My department has agreed to pay for the replacement of the laptops that were stolen from me and the applicant, and maybe my iPod, too. I'll still be out $100-$150 for the window, but I am feeling a lot better now. It's obviously an investment in trying to appease this whole recruitment class so that some of them might come here in spite of this, but I'll certainly take it.

Holy cow, that is good news wookie!

Nice! I hope you didn't forget to tell them about the Picasso that got stolen from the glove compartment.

GG Wookie.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Today, I have to list some complaining, so if you aren't in the mood, **** you and move on.

I have been having a problem with the night clerk at a local 7-11. I prefer to go to this store because it has more space, I don't have to wait an internimable time at lights, and everyone is very nice. Except this one guy. I have a plastic 7-11 cup that I have been using for about 3 months. This guy sees me every day, telling me that I have to pay for the cup as well as the coffee. I know it will sound denses to get this intense over a 50c difference, but this guy really pisses me off with his attitude. I can go to either of the other 2 stores near me, and they don't bat a lash when I tell them I have a refill. This guy demands that I show him my cup every time I walk in. I did it a few times and he still ****s with me about it. Last night, I go in and he looks dead at me, staring at the cup as I walk in, so I know he knows I have the cup. I walk to the counter, order a cigar, and hand over 3 bucks, but he refuses to sell me anything unless I give him the extra 11c. Sad to admit that I very discourteous in this sort of situation. I ended up not taking the cigar. His dumb move was to hand me back all my money. I said, "Here is your goddam dollar. **** you." I walked out and he gave me the finger. To bad for them, they lost a costomer.

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My buddy was fired from his job working as a massuer at a spa. This is a major spa, probably one of the larger chains in the country. The reason he got fired was they a-o-typical. A client stays for an hour, leaves a nice tip, tells you how great you are, then runs to the front desk complaining so they can get a free session. The policy is this: the client has about 15 minutes to decide that maybe this isn't working out. If that happens, s/he gets up and goes to another therapist and finishes the hour. No punishment. However, if the client stays the full time, and they complain, then the therapist gets a write up. I know that sounds totally backwards, but that is the policy. No matter how many years you may work there, after 4 write ups, you are fired. During the month my friend worked there, they fired two people that was there for 14 years because they got their 4th complaint.

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Finally. Finally, I got all my phone problems worked out. Old phone is replaced (paying the bill would be for naught since the phone wasn't working properly anyway)? check! Since I bought this new phone yesterday, there was still a billing error on their part. I explained over and over that my bill was incorrect, but they just had me pay the smaller balance. I walk in today, because, alas!, the phone service is off. After talking to them about it, they took off the remaining balance, let me keep the new phone, and now my service is all balanced out.

That sucks. People do this at hotels all the time too. Like, a really high percentage of people. They'll get great service but at the end complain and/or threaten to call up the franchise headquarters and complain in an attempt to get a free night or two or whatever. About anything, no matter how ridiculous or transparent a lie. They don't care who they get in trouble in the process. People suck. A lot. And often.

The problem is, the franchise will charge the hotel owner 75 bucks and up just for having to take the phone call, and if you get very many at all, they fine the franchise thousands of dollars and will even try to maneuver you into expensive "retraining" scenarios that, of course, don't do dick to stop people from compulsively trying to cheat. So the owner winds up eating a lot of freebies, and the staff has to deal with and sometimes get yelled at and threatened by one conniving arsehole after the next. And then the boss after that, if he's in the mood. And when it comes to abusing power, the volunteer line is not short.

I broke down and bought a cellphone a year ago, and I can't remember the number to save myself. And it's the only phone I've got now. People keep asking me for my phone number, and I look like a blithering idiot hemming and hawing. Next stop, senility.

Dude, you can usually find your number under your contacts page, at the top

Don't confuse me now. I'll try that, but I just hope I don't break it.

It's written down in a notebook, but I keep losing the notebook.

kioshk, just call your mom and ask her what your phone number is.

Ha, now what's her number again...?