I said L would be moving away in August in the first paragraph about her, although I didn't say how far.

Just tell L something like this:

I've met this girl and I am going to see her this weekend. I don't know if anything will happen, but I am interested in her. I hope that you won't be upset with me for being honest with you.

(OMG - I can't believe that I just told you the last line. I am going to be banned from the Sisterhood for eternity now...)

Of course, L will ask you about what happened this weekend when you both get back to Rochester - be prepared...

My choice is:

I like your wording, and lol @ M. I thought you might have posted:

This.

And even if it turns out that M is not the girl for you, you won't be in a holding pattern with someone there's no future with. Being obviously available may open your eyes to other prospects.

All,

Back from the vegas. I am tired. Apologies and sadness on not getting a chance to meet up with Dom. I'm calling it conflicting schedules since two out of our three potential meeting days I had friends in town I was meeting up with already. Argggggh. Next summer I hope.

Will get back to Lounge posting when my body no longer hates me for 8 hours of flight and 20 hours of driving in the last week.

Wookie,

I think the obvious play is a threesome.

After reading everything else this seems like a bit of a logistical problem hence a no go. Much like Dom, I would take the passion of the few days with M, over the comfortable few months with L.

I think it shows a lot about your character that this is causing you problems, because there are far too many people that would just keep seeing L, spend the weekend with M, and never say a word.

On a side note, I used to see a girl that sounds much like your L in regards to our relationship, who is living in Rochester now.

******N.G. Update******
Well I mentioned that some of our friends were pretty upset about our decision to date, and this seems to have bled over into a lot of pettiness and discord within our friend group. Since we were uninvited from our usual Thursday night 'family' dinner, she came and ran a 5K with me and some friends yesterday.

It was quite a bit of fun but really, really f'in hot, followed by the obligatory post-race beer drinking and then we ventured over to the Mudbug Madness Festival that sponsored the race. All in all, a wonderful time. I finally got to meet the 50 y.o. woman that my 24 y.o. friend has been trying to get with, and she was busted. Pretty nice lady though, but something can't be quite right upstairs if she was hanging with some 20-somethings. I also randomly ran into a very good friend of mine at the festival that I haven't seen in years. All this was followed up by a few of these

on the front porch while reading (Lolita for me, Anna Karenina for her). All in all a wonderful day. I can't wait to go camping this weekend, hopefully I'll get some pictures.

/blog post

Edit: Seriously get some Beam & Colas. I don't even really like hard alcohol (and they aren't that hard I guess, 5%) but they taste fantastic.

Diddy,

She cute? I'll have to PM you about her after my weekend w/ M

You're making too much of this, young man. You're decent, honorable, and sensitive about the feelings of others. Make up your own mind. For me, this would be an easy choice; however, I'm not going to tell you why.

Not even going to tell me your choice and let me figure out why you made it?

I'm
There was this one heinous bitch that was talking much **** about my girl while as my dad puts it 'not having a horse in the race'. We play Scrabulous together daily, and for some reason due to a fluke of facebook when she started a new game with me, she actually started five. So I was like okay, I'm going to beat this bitch in all five games, but I dropped the last one by 6 pts. Guess I'll just have to live with my 4-1 record with +234 spread.

Edit to add: Wookie she is pretty cute, but she claims to be a lesbian now. If you go to U of R, ya'll are students together (or were, I think she graduated last month).

No. What may matter to me may not matter to you. I do trust, however, you know what's best for you.

Hmm, is this the Bill Clinton kind of not having sex?

Otherwise, your post kind of blows my mind. You agreed to monogamy with a girl you are not having sex with?

And you worry you might be cheating on a girl you are not having sex with?

And you feel that:

I don't know how I can say this without it sounding bad, but ... no duh! I'd say not having sex with someone after dating them for 7 months sounds pretty obviously like you have personal differences, and they sure as hell better preclude marriage!

This sounds awful, Wookie, I'm sorry to say. I am at a complete loss as to how to say so in a way that makes the situation sound better or me sound any kinder.

Well, Wook, is a Democrat and I'll bet that is where his definition lies

I hate to say it but I kind of feel at a loss for words too. Don't get me wrong, I think there is something admirable about your stance to stay "celibate" but it is a bit foreign to me and I am just not sure how to address that.

On some totally different notes, If anyone cares I did get some new pictures up in this thread. I have the inside of the house on there. Someone had requested pics of that so there they are.

My kids were done with school yesterday and we had to go into town and pick up my daughters Woods Class project. Lo and behold she had made me a new Gun Cabinet!!! I mean for gosh sake it is huge, beautiful and will hold 12 guns. It is WAY more impressive than anything I could have built when I was her age, well more than I could do NOW!!! I was just blown away!!

wait a minute....Wook...you're NOT HAVING SEX with L.???? After 7 months? WTF?

How can you be monogamous with someone you're not having sex with? You don't owe her anything if this is the case.

Color me confused.

hmmm, i disagree here...not about it being weird, for i surely think that it is...i don't agree that only sex can make the relationship serious...fact is, he agreed to be in a non-intercourse having monogamous sexual relationship and if he wants to give things a try w/ M he needs to be straight up with L...

weird phrase you used imo...no sex so he doesn't owe her anything...

well, in this culture sexual relations is usually the defining point of whether or not you're in a monogamous relationship with someone. This isn't some Jane Austen book, you know?

i don't get the jane austen thing never read her work...

What on earth is that?

A relationship, okay.

But a sexual relationship without sex? Nope.

aiya...i think its weird too (i don't recall the reason why wook is waiting), but that is the deal they came up with and he agreed to it so they are in exactly what i said they were in ----> "a non-intercourse having monogamous sexual relationship"

im assuming they still do bill clinton type stuffs so its still a sexual rather than platonic relationship...

I'm with thirddan here. They have made a promise to each other that if either one decides to go out with someone else they will let the other know. Why is that so weird? It doesn't matter what their intimate life is like. They have a private relationship.

Personally I would not have entered into a monogamous relationship with someone I wasn't very serious about. But I can see how it could happen.

but according to Wook, he's not even serious about L...they don't even hang out "as a couple" in public. So really...what kind of promises can be made here? I understand if they were uck-buddies and they promised to tell one another of any other possible intimacies with a third party for safeties-sake...but there really is no relationship here. At least, how Wook tells it.

Well I can sort of understand it. Let's say you know a girl, you guys are friends and you spend several nights a week hanging out and sleeping over, (though no sex, only very intense spooning ).

You have grown accustomed to each other's company. You look forward to your Monday and Tuesdays with her and you hope she will hang with you on Friday night. Well, you just might be hurt if this girl suddenly announces to you that she has been sleeping with some other guy on the side.

whether or not we agree with what wook did...he made an agreement not to see other women w/o telling L, he needs to honor his agreement imo...

the terms of the agreement really mean nothing, he agreed so he needs to man up and honor his word...

no disrespect to Mr. Wookie, as we all have a different ways of doing things, but this would never in a million years happen to me. You all know what I think of spooning with a girl who you are not also having sex with!

Seriously, if I was in Wook's shoes right now, I wouldn't even tell L. anything about M...have my weekend, and if something comes from it that might continue, THEN tell L. If not, L will be none the wiser.

I mean, I admire Wook's honesty and wanting to do the right thing, but this is in no way cheating. At least, in my book.