Inspired by cstone's thread anyone with a bad jerkin story should post it here. Well here's the most embarassing moment of my entire life:

I was 16 years old and hanging out with my cousin at his crib after school. He decided he was gonna take a shower so I was like dude you got any porn im gonna wank one off while youre in the shower. He hooked me up with a vhs porno and I was sprawled out on the lazy boy in the living room with my pants around my ankles when what do you know my Aunt comes barrelling through the door midstroke. What did I do? Threw a blanket over my junk and put my hands behind my head and just said "Hi Aunt Joan" with the porno still blasting. The funniest thing about the whole situation was hearing my cousin laughing hysterically like a madman in the shower cause he knew what had just happened. I never looked at my Aunt Joan the same after that.

y do u 'blast' porno or is this std??

is she an ailf?

what a moran. you'd do it in someone else's house? with the door not locked? you wanted to get caught imo.

Who said anything about the door being unlocked. You know how people are with their own doors. I can open my front door in like 3 seconds with both locks locked.

LMFAO. Nor she at you, I suppose.

rofl

I think one time when I was 14 like 5 or 6 times in one day, it hurt the next day.

jerked it to the OP

might not be my worst experience but pretty close

Jerked it to Limesparks' post. Pretty good, actually.

8.5/10 AFAIK

took a bunch of adderall, which makes me v horny but can't get off no matter what, so i watched like 3 hours of porn, downloaded at least 500mbs+ to my comp, got mad viruses, beat it for like an hour and ended up with a sore member, couldn't beat it for a whole day afterwards (wtffff) cuz it hurt too much, straight awful

F*ing amateurs.

You have a good internet connection AFAIK.

Wow awesome OP, 9/10 imo.

My worst beating off experience was at my first job as a computer support at the nearby factory. I had few long days while I was alone there (normally 3-4 people working there plus me) and those 8 hour days were goddamn boring. One day I decided to take some porn with me to beat off to it during the boring hours alone (i had internet too but access to porn sites denied ldo).

So there I was watching some bitch being [censored] in the ass sounds loud and just about to burst while I heard the door to my office being opened even though I was sure I had electronically locked it. My pants were down and the porn was loud enough to be heard to the door if it was open and all I could do was pull my pants up and stand up and for some reason unknown even though I managed to hold my cum inside, while standing up something happened and I started ejaculating. The porn was still on and some bald guy came in with his laptop and looked quite troubled and I dont wonder since the porn was still on. Try to imagine a situation where youre standing in front of a bald, 40ish fat guy and looking him into his eyes and cumming at the same time. Goddamn.

I closed the porn and tried to act as normally as possible but I couldnt and I slipped one of the most embarrasing sentences which was "damn, these porn ads with voice included are pissing me off". Not the best line here obv. He said something like "yeah...umm can you check my laptop?" and I said yeah put in on the table which was about one feet away from me. I couldnt take it from his hands since my belt was still open and my pants would have dropped if I moved towards him.

He asked if I could check it now and of course I said "nah, gimme your cell phone number and I check back to you when I have time, Im a little busy right now" which just got the situation even more embarrasing. All this time I could see it from his face that he knew exactly what was happening there.

And you can guess, I didnt work there long after that.

ROFL that my friend is one priceless moment

chopsticks... that is awesome lol

I've never been walked on while jerking off and I've never had my porn collection stumbled upon. I'm very cautious. Doors have locks imo. Although freshman year of college I was jacking it at 4 in the morning and there was a medium sized earthquake.

damn you're good. the earth never moves for me any more when I make love to myself

awesome+1 chop

Was my first year back from college for the summer and decided to watch a little spank-tro-vision on my laptop in my room. Afaik my house was empty because my parents had just left to run errands. I was sitting in one of those bowl shaped chairs w/ my laptop in my lap. As I was about to climax lo and behold my dad barges through the door, (during liftoff), shouting "WHAT UP DAWG". I was helpless and could do nothing but pull the laptop over my waist (sitting down obv), beat red in the face, and utter out, "not...much...oh/uh/ohhh/aah, dad" After he realized what he just interrupted he claims I was watching the prOn and PROCEEDS to have a conversation w/ me after I painted the bottom of my laptop. I don't think he ever knew what time during the process he walked in on, but probably my most awkward masturbates story imo.

i came four times while reading this thread

lol at these stories

Well handled

again, more people who 'blast' pr0n...i guess it must be std and just me who doesn't do it

d00d teh pr0n was made to be LOUD, how else r u gonna hear every little sound ldo, crank that shizznit