Dont give it all that rabbit, you muppet, or I'll warm yer cheeks.

English by the English isn't that hard though. Here's how I gave advice about getting a three-way going to a fellow Brit, see if you can get the jist:

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If you want to three-up, try and get a fit mort, not some old minger with a face like a slapped arse and an arse that needs apple catchers to keep it respectable or an Aunt Mary like a welly-top.

And make sure you're not going apache, even if they are on the Benny Hill, you don't want to get galloping knob-rot.

Always be fair, and let the 2 floozies chew the cud on your goolies (one each), and after plating them, your knackers should be fermenting the fishy porridge nicely. If you're lucky they'll do a turn and save you some Ted Rogers, and before you know it, you'll be up to yer nuts in guts. If you're feeling playful, have a sniff at the bacon strips youself too.

Now, it's never fair to ladle the baby gravy out to just one, cos the other will get mardy, so once you get to the vinegar strokes, time to play the banjo instead, and empty the milk churns on their boats or oomlaters. Mind their barnets tho - these are birds - manners!


Got that?

innit

Full English fer brekkers, Roast fer dinner, fish an chips fer tea, and **** da wevvah.

minge

One other tip. Almost any word can be turned into a verb to mean being drunk, and everyone understands it.

Random examples:

I was wallpapered!
I was banana'd!
I was trolleyed!
I was spinached!

These are all completely fine and will be understood.

U wot m8?

Nobbut

Crims