I was mowing the yard today and I ran over a bees nest. Of course I ran like a school girl swatting the air the entire time I was running. I ended up getting stung only one time which was just behind my left ear. It hurts like a mother ****er right now. I left the lawnmower where it stopped and I figured I would finish mowing later in the afternoon when bees become more dormant.

Unfortunately I had to walk by the lawnmower/nest to get back into my house. They went after me again, unsuccessfully I might add as more running, dodging, swatting seems to do the trick. After I got back into my house I went to the back deck to see where the nest was (I may pour gas down the hole tonight). My deck is 15 feet off the ground and about 10feet away from the nest (do some simple trig that's about 18 linear feet away from the ****ers). They still tried to attack me!!! I quickly shut the door and the bastards were kamikazing their little bodies into the window of the door like Satan on Red Bull.

As I was getting ready to get into the shower I hear a buzzing and thumping against one of the windows of my house. One of the ****ers had gotten in. I smushed it with a towel. I get in the shower, relaxing (not rubbing one out imo) when I see another one fly into the bathroom. I quickly kill it. I get back in and see another one and then another. This time I say **** it and run, again like a school girl, out of the bathroom leaving the water running. Now I have to figure out how to surreptitiously get back into the bathroom to turn off the water.

I see one of the bees fly into some coats I have hanging in the corner. I swat it with a towel but miss. This bee must be slow as I got another shot and killed it....I think. It is at this time that I figure the second bee which had flown into the bathroom may have witnessed his colleagues demise and was now in hiding. I took this opportunity to run into the bathroom, turn off the shower, and hightail it back out.

As I was typing this another one (hopefully the one mentioned above) decides to land on the window curtain right next to my computer. I swiftly jump up, grab a pillow, and smash the pillow onto the unsuspecting pest all the while making some sort of karate YAAAAA sound.

I decided the only logical thing to do is to up the ante by going to K-Mart to buy some super powerful all purpose bee killer ****. It's a kind of mutual assured destruction type policy. As I leave I crack the front door with the hope that the attackers will leave satisfied thinking that the shear terror they have caused will keep me away from there dwelling. I am comfortable leaving the door open when I'm not here as we have only one black guy in the neighborhood and he is cool. It is to be noted that the guy that rang me up at K-Mart has one flat foot and one high arc. I'm thinking that may be the least of his problems. I just noted two problems worse than that in the seconds that I had to interact with him. 1) the bad mowhawk haircut. 2) He works at K-Mart.

I am good with both sides just going their own way forgetting that this terrible encounter ever happened. Some lives were lost, some pain was inflicted. There really is no winner in an event like this

Some pics of the carnage:



Although I killed this one an hour before I took the pic, it was still kicking when I took it. I let him to continue to kick/suffer. That way if any more cohorts are watching they may learn and second guess any more counter attacks.

frist?
cliffs?

wasps

*their dwelling

They are wasps? I didn't know wasps lived in the ground and I thought they were fairly solitary. There were hundreds of these things flying around after I stirred them up.

holy **** it's a thread with some mother****ing pics in it


so you were running around your house naked, eh?

that is what they look like to me and my experiences with wasps is that they tend to be pretty aggressive. could be wrong though. they could be hornets. not sure of the difference really.

.

lol you made me curious and I found this.

was looking that up myself.

Holy ****!

I'm pretty sure they are yellow jackets but I thought that was a type of bee. Not a wasp. Interesting.

i got stung by a yellowjacket when i was a kid. they chased me all across my yard.

This is why you hire mexicans to cut your yard.

get strung...be swoll

Affirmative

OP, you're alright in my book, but there's just no way I'm reading all that.

It's ok. The story kind of sucks anyway. I just got stung by a bee and now the entire colony has vowed revenge for the disturbance.

I pretty sure it works like this: the first one stings you and it leaves some kind of FFFFFUUU scent that the others are attracted to. When the others smell that scent on someone, they think you're a piece of **** who ****ed with the hive and they swarm you. Assuming you showered long enough to wash off the FFFFFFUUU scent, you should be fine now.

Also, cool story bro.

They have you outnumbered and surrounded, just give them the house before you get hurt.

i always thought bees and ants stung or bite you all at the same time

I think it's wasps too. I was always told to be careful walking through tall grass at the lake. It sucks because I don't think wasps make honey. If it were bees you could take their honey.

You can piss on their ground hive though so there's that.

But they will sting me in the penis

you gots to run faster son