Go eat a dictionary.

I hope you are as rich as you are wise my friend.

Oil from those man made fractions that make your sink flammable?

It's going to be nice going home before 5pm everyday instead of working until midnight. Plus my clothes aren't soaked from washing dishes all night. I did wash dishes for an hour today during the lunch rush but I didn't get soaked.

Before starting my first day training as a prep cook I bought some new non-slip shoes from wal-mart for $28. They're a lot more comfortable than the ones I had before and they don't smell like a dishwasher.

Also got a waffle taco combo from taco bell for breakfast.

It's going to take a while to get used to doing everything but I feel like I'll be able to handle it. I'm pretty sure I got a .50 raise too.

Around here we call the JJ hand fagg**s. Sorry OP.

I don't care what you call pocket jacks.

Since I read this JJ has came up on two flops in the last five minutes and I just lost to it with 33. I read the board as two **** and a four. Thanks a lot for ruining my favorite hand.

In honor of my 300th post I will give the people what they want with another tl;dr. Although I'm going to start before my first stay at a mental hospital and I can't guarantee my story will get that far. It's pretty late and I have to wake up at 6am for work.

The night before I flew out to Georgia I said good bye to my Mom and step-dad outside the hotel in the parking lot. I went inside, checked in and dropped my bag off in my room.

My friends came to hang out with me and brought me Wingstop. We hung out by the pool. It was my girlfriend at the time, my best friend, his sister and her boyfriend at the time, and some random kid who I invited to hang out with us who was still processing in to the Army.

I jumped in to the pool first after eating and conversing with my friends. Two females started swimming a few minutes after I did and my best friend jumped in, and then the random guy. I swam by one of the girls and she asked me if I was shipping out and I said yes. She said she was too.

A little bit after this my GF, who didn't have a bathing suit, jumped in with shorts and a T-shirt. We flirted a little but I was a little disappointed that she was there and I missed an opportunity with the random girls that were swimming.

Curfew was at 9 so my friends said their good byes, my girlfriend cried, and I went up to my room.

The next morning at MEPs I filled out last minute paperwork and then we were briefed about our flights. I was paired up with a guy I had seen at MEPs before and we were flying out together. The lady who did the briefing said that when we get off the plane we would have to catch a train across the airport, and run to catch the bus. She really emphasized this and I wish I had listened to her. We did catch the train but we didn't run to catch the bus, and we got lost too. We ended up getting to the clock tower where a bunch of other guys in the Army were two minutes before the bus was suppose to leave. They were all going to Fort Benning and said the bus for Ft Jackson left a little while before we got there.

We went outside and the guy I was with had a cellphone. I didn't bring one because I figured they would take it anyway at BT. We called the lady who gave us our travel plans and she told us where to go. After wandering around for half an hour we found the shuttle that took us to a hotel.

We ordered pizza, watched TV, and walked across the street to the liquor store. I remember the news reporting that the rapper from the group "Criss Cross" had died. He did the song "Criss Cross will make ya... JUMP! JUMP!"

My roommate called his girlfriend, who was at MEPs and I tried hitting on because she was hot, and I asked to use his phone to call my mom and GF.

The next morning we returned to the airport to wait for our bus. There was a designated area for people in the Army with food and TVs. The chairs were really comfortable. An older guy was sitting behind us with his wife and daughter. Somehow I started up a conversation with him. He told me he was retired and in the middle of moving or something. I told him about my MOS and that we were on our way to BT. He said "The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle."

We used our lunch and dinner vouchers then sat under the clock tower waiting for the bus. There was a hot chick sitting down and I kept walking by her throwing stuff away and meeting up with my roommate but I never made a move.

A little later we were joined by another guy going to Ft Jackson. He was from North or South Dakota and had a really annoying accent. I almost stabbed him with my shovel during yard duty once we got to Jackson.

The driver arrived and she had to use the rest room so we waited for her. Once outside we all got in to a van. Her son was with her, a little younger than us, maybe 19 sitting in the passenger seat. I sat in the middle seat to the left window, my roommate sat to my right by the door, and North Dakota sat behind us in the back.

We shared snacks but it was mostly a quite ride. We stopped halfway for gas and to stretch. It was a 4-6 hour drive. When we finally got to Ft. Jackson it was past midnight. We were briefed, did a bag check, threw away all of our snacks, got our platoon and ID numbers and checked in to our bunks.

We woke up a few hours later and had to get dressed, go down stairs and fall in. When we got outside there was about 200 people lining up in their platoons. Males were on one side, females on the other facing the males. The three of us scrambled to the back and tried standing in a random line. I kept hearing guys shouting out platoon numbers. The guy in front of me asked what platoon I was in and I said 89. He said that I was in the wrong formation and the wrong colored socks. So I had to run upstairs and change.

I came back down and we lined up in a three person formation because we were the only ones in 89. Later we got another guy named Ace who became my battle buddy anytime I needed to go somewhere. He was Filipino and a little older than me. Showed me pics of his wife and daughter. Nice guy I hope he made it.

We carried our laundry bags with us while we stood outside in the cold waiting for chow. I made the mistake of putting the majority of my stuff in my laundry bag so it was extremely heavy. I didn't want to look weak so I never sat it down and I kept having to switch arms to carry it.

After breakfast we went back to our bays and slept for a few hours.

We arrived on a Wednesday and had to do three days of processing. Dental, shots, getting our boots and uniforms. So we had a two day wait after all that on Sat and Sunday.

The first two days we stayed in our own bay. Just the four of us. Then on day three since we had to wait to ship they put us in a bay full of hold overs. A hold over is someone for whatever reason, isn't going to ship, at least not anytime soon. They are basically bored, pissed off, or just bat **** crazy. I was terrified and couldn't sleep which brought on the psychosis.

I soon became one of them.

Mudda bitch

Reported as spam.

JJ!

Great tdlr.

I distinctly remember my voyage from MEPS to Basic. And then the first week of basic. It is truly a bizarre life experience that cannot be duplicated.

How long did you serve for? Don't you have GI Bill benefits to abuse?

Reported as ead

I never served. I EPTS (existing prior to service) out of the Army with an honorable discharge about a week in to it. I actually was taken to the mental hospital four days in to processing and never even made it to basic.

My dad is retired air force and I'm sure that his GI bill could apply to me.

Wow.

You beat the system. You should not be posting in 4L, you should be rolling in taxpayer $$ and laughing about it. Freeroll your dad's $$ and your disability $$ and parlay that into a better life. I wish I had that much of a headstart. I had to do it the old fashioned way.

Bro, do you even mental hospital?

Lmao.

good read

I mean you have some serious issues, but you can string a sentence together.

I still don't know what OP has against Georgia

OP, why buy play chips when you can grind them for free? ldo; poker stars play chips

I just spent two hours trolling some guy on play money poker. He had a girl avatar but I'm pretty sure it was a dude.

She/he told me to "follow her" so I did and she/he went to an empty table. Then she/he asked if I was horny, which ofc I was.

After a while I had him/shim convinced that I was a 15 year old boy from Iran to which she/he replied she/he was a 15 year old girl from Kansas. Later shim/him slipped up and said she/he was a secretary and made good money and that's why he/she couldn't come to Iran to meet my family. I told shim that I've never been with a girl and that I've only ****ed goats.

Then he wanted me to suck my own dick, and **** my sister. I convinced him that I did then after I said I beat her with a metal baseball bat to "silence her" then buried her at the creek. At the end he got scared saying he only said to have sex with her not kill her and when I kept asking how to get to Kansas to be with him he removed me as a friend, which I think is what hurt the most.

Pics of sex with sister.

Pics of metal baseball bat

Pics of creek

Sorry I've only got pics of GOATs because this thread is the GOAT.

I've been trying really hard to quit watching porn. I've been addicted to pornography since I was 12 years old.

It all started when I found some dirty magazines under my friends older brothers bed. A few months later I found a video. I also ran our phone bill up around $200 calling sex hot lines that were in the back of the magazine and charged some pay-per-view movies to our TV. My mom thought it was my Dad but I admitted it was me when asked about it later.

On the internet I found a free website with a bunch of images on it. Then I got this dinosaur of a friends computer and I found a folder full of porn.

Another guy let me borrow a CD that had a bunch of sound files on it for my studio and I found some porn videos on it. I started downloading videos off of kazaa and watching them on winamp.

Now they got a million free websites with videos. It's way too easy these days. I remember having to stay up all night at my friends house then watch porn on HBO after he fell asleep. Matter fact, the first porn I ever saw was on late night HBO when I was about four or five years old. I came downstairs at 3am and my parents fell asleep on the couch but left the TV on. That's when I saw my first pair of jugs. God I love jugs.