This past Friday I went to what I'm pretty sure is the rape/murder capital of the world in Detroit, MI to meet AngryPanda and see Louis CK perform live in person. I gave myself a 50/50 chance of survival, this is my story:

PRE-SHOW

The show started at 8 and the goal is to be at least a little drunk by then because the drinks at the Detroit Opera House are going to be ridiculously expensive. So I leave my home in Grand Rapids at 1 pick up beers on the way and check in a little after 4:30.

Obviously ballin' out at the Holiday Inn downtown Detroit.



Panda gets in shortly after I do so we start drinking pretty much right away. We play a drinking game that Panda taught me on the spot and in spite of him pwning me ~9028392 games in a row he was still out drinking me pretty handily. By the time for the show we've got a pretty good buzz on and Cincinnati is up 4-0 over Philly and everything is pretty much right with the world.

SHOW:

The event is being held at the Detroit Opera House which from the looks of it was built prior to the 1967 race riots that precipitated the steady and consistent decline of Detroit as a major US city ever since; and as such it was really a very nice ~2,500 seat venue.

I was pretty pumped up to see that Todd Berry was Louis' opening act, I've been a Todd Berry fan for a longer than I even knew Louis existed. Panda said he was also a fan, but that didn't stop him from leaving the show to hit up the bar several times during the set so I'm pretty skeptic.



When Louis CK came on the crowd went crazy. He had some really funny bits that I wish I could remember properly or had brought a recorder or something, so that I can hock them in social situations at parties and trick people into thinking that I'm funny. But I'm pretty sure that would end with me ****ing the joke up and total disaster. Anyway, it was the best comedy show I've ever been to.



POST-SHOW:

After the show Todd Barry was selling cd's in the back on the way out. AngryPanda wanted to stop by to try to get a pic of him with Todd on the way out. Todd was talking, shaking hands with anyone that came up to buy a cd, plus he signed them for anyone purchasing them there. I'm pretty sure Panda was in love because he acted about how I'd act if I were ever in close proximity with Laetitia Casta whose early Victoria Secret shots taught the younger pubescent version of myself that I had a penis that I hadn't yet fully discovered how to use properly. After totally cutting off a couple girls and buying 2 cd's Panda did in fact get Todd Berry pic + autographed cd's.



There were a couple bars right across the street from the Opera House that a lot of people were streaming into, but since Panda and I are both poor and cheap we made our way back to the hotel to slam some more beers before splashing out at the bars for $6/beer.

Everything up until that point had gone awesome, but this is the point of the night where things started to go sideways on us. We arrived back at the room to discover that Cincy had committed 4 errors in the course of turning a 4-0 lead into a 4-7 defeat at the hands of the Phillies.

After hammering down a couple beers and steaming about the baseball game it's time to hit a bar. There were a couple active sports bars near the Opera House but it took us ~20 min to find our way the 1/4 mile back to the Holiday Inn. So we had the pick of 2 bars that were right next to where we were staying, weighing our options I asked Panda, "Where do you think we'd fit in best?" Panda just sort of starred at me blankly because both bars had about a dozen sharply dressed middle aged African-American patrons sitting out on the veranda, so I made the executive decision to go to the one on our side of the street just on the off chance we'd fade that 2% chance of getting hit by a car crossing the street from one to the other. The best I can do to describe us walking into that bar is just tell you to imagine the scene from Animal House where everyone piles into the jazz club with their dates to discover the club is ~100% black. That was pretty much me and Panda, two pasty white kids in a bar in downtown Detroit with ~200 black people. Well, we couldn't just turn around and leave that would reek of cowardice and xenophobia besides this is 2010 we have a black president, why not stroll confidently into the midst of a completely foreign ethnic group and enjoy a drink. Which is exactly what we did. We sat down had 1 beer each didn't talk or look at anyone and then we got the **** out of there.

When we left Panda was gonna beeline for some food, but I had to piss and I knew that the last time we tried to go directly between two places not in direct eyesight it took ~10 times as long as it should have. So, I went back to the hotel w/ the intention of meeting up with Panda at a bar that served food down the line. I managed to find a decent sports bar/microbrew with a bunch of Red Wings fans in it partying it up after the Red Wings thrashed Anaheim 4-0 opening night, but no Panda in sight anywhere. In spite of totally losing track of Panda I stayed there drinking until things started thinning out around closing time. When I got back to the hotel Panda was passed out in a chair with a plate full of unfinished chicken wangzzzzz which I stole by eating them in ~2 min then fell asleep.



fin.

If you met Angry Panda, why not just write "Angry Panda" in your thread title?

*******.

tl;dr, not enough pictures with neon green

waiting for it to come out via netflix

U STOLE HIS BREAKFAST THATS JUST NOT RIGHT BRO

AngryPanda is asian. You were duped.

i thought ap was a catlady?

A÷ would read again.

I feel compelled to post in this thread.

tl;dr

Is AngryPanda black? If so,he should be BlackBear not AngryPanda.

Was he happy?

wuzzy fuzzy?

I once bought a bag a weed a few blocks away from the renaissance center. I was pretty sure I was gonna get murdered, but I didn't

oh, and GOOOO WIINNNNGGGSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

also, it's probably for the best that Panda didn't get to watch the epic choke of his Reds while it was happening...I think he woulda assploded or something

I was trying to make a thin reference to, Lilly, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts by Bob Dylan and I needed to cut a syllable.

Panda might add his pic with Todd, but I don't have said pic.

I don't need your sympathy post.

He was angry.

Unfortunately he passed out with his pants on so I wasn't able to find out.

That happened at approximately 4:10 Sunday afternoon when the Bengals blew it against the Bucs

Standard.

The first time I remember anyone offering to sell me drugs was outside the Masonic Temple ... about five feet from a Detroit cop.

needs more panda pictures

i liked the part about walking into the black ppl bar lol

There has been the discussion recently amongst myself and some esteemed colleagues regarding the consumption of food that has been left out over night. While my colleagues contended that it was unsanitary and that food grows bacteria as it cools to room temperature, I have always been of the opinion that drunkenly left out food is all the more delicious and nutritious in the morning. That being said, you may have done the pseudo-bear a disservice imo by eating said breakfast. On the other hand, according to my esteemed colleagues, you did the panda a solid through which he avoided food poisoning. In the end the empirically correct thing to do would have been eat the delicious treat, then draw bbv4l on his face in black sharpie and post pics ldo. That is all.

^^left out pizza and wings are totally worth one a day of the ****s imo

how many times did you sodomize an unconscious panda w/ wangzzz before you ate them

After reading this I am amazed you both survived

did he order the wings 30 seconds before the chicken wings place closed? because i totally would expect him to be that kind of guy.

worthless without green smeary pics