Yeah so my daughter's in her third year at primary school, and all her friends think I'm the coolest daddy in the class. I'm like a good 10 years younger than average, I play stupid games with the kids, I do funny voices, I drive a shiny BMW: you get the picture, there's a lot of love for me out there. Anyway for the past few weeks my daughter's been bigging me up even more by telling anyone who'll listen that I'm gonna destroy the field in the parents' race at the annual Sports Day.
The previous two years my girl's been at the school, Sports Day has been cancelled due to bad weather. This year the weather's been good, and I've been in training for like 2 weeks. My girl's been timing me running up and down the street and I even bought a new pair of Lacoste trainies off a bloke in the pub. Safe in the knowledge that all the other dads are either fat or old, I turned up on the day all primed up and fully prepared to tear the *** out of it.
Except for some reason they decided that the parents' race was to be a ****ing three-legged race, with each parent tied by the leg to their kid. And obvioulsly my ****ing dumb daughter couldn't keep up with me, and she ended up falling over and crying within seconds of the start. I tried picking her up and hopping, but I tripped and was unable to use my hands to break my fall, so I smashed my face squarely into the ground and bust my lip. Everyone pointed and laughed, and my daughter was in tears.

Cliffs: Lost my invincible image and my dignity in stupid parents' race.

pics of 3rd leg.

lol, your ****ing dumb daughter.

****ing dumb daughter?

gtfo.

pics of doughter of gtfo

pedo itt.

pics of the site you copied this from.

lol owned imo!

****ing dumb daughter lol

and who buys trainies (thats either a dodgy tranny hooker which i dont know how this would help you win a running race or sneakers) from a pub ?

Yeah trainies are sneakers. Apparently a sportswear shop got done over a few weeks ago so Lacoste stuff is pretty readily available in most local bars aorn.

lol you must be working class and from the north of england. Who else buys trainers in a pub?

And you must be middle class and from the South. Bet you don't even buy DVDs off dodgy-looking chinese guys either. You probably even live in a house.

All these stereotypes its digusting.

Im from australia and dont have time for dvd's still looking for the dingo that took my baby, some "trainies" could come in handy im off to the pub to see if i can pick up a pair

ROFL @ ****ing dumb daughter

[x] father of the year ITT

Stopped reading after first highly implausible sentence.

like hide the salami?

I drive a dodge stratus

That's what you get for trying to impress 10 year old girls.