Just found out my ex-fiance is going to be back in town for Thanksgiving. Dont care not that bad.

But she decided to go out with her friends. Where did she pick? She wants to go to my [censored] bar. The bar I go two 2-3 times a [censored] week. The bar that gives me free beers because they are cool. This [censored] pisses me off.

What line should I take.
1) Bring hooters girls (do this most of the time because I can get them in when they arent 21)
2) Bring hot friend who will be all over me to piss her off.
3) Take her home [censored] the crap out of her and then dump her again.
4) Go to different bar and pay for drinks
5) Tell bouncer she isnt 21 and that is a fake ID (Its not she is over 21 but she doesnt look like it.)

2 and 3

combination of 2 and 3, [censored] both hot friend and gf

FYP

Donkey Punch FTW

3, 1, 2, and 5 (in that order)

If you bring the Hooters girls, it's possible that she'll flip the set and tell the bouncers that they're not 21 and they'll get booted and so will you for a night for bringing in minors.

Actually this could be +EV. Then where will they go to drink? Ummm ladies I have plenty of beer in my appartment.

If this happens:

1) Head to liquor store and buy booze
2) Bring Hooters girls back to house
3) ?????
4) Profit
5) Schedule STD test on Monday

I actually think 2 is the worst choice.

Just bang every hot girl there.

Get several of your scariest look friends. all 3-5 of you just sit at the bar and stare at her all night. No talking, no smiling or laugh. Just stare at her until

I would if I could but I am not at that baller status yet.

1+2
3 only if an orgy is on the cards

fwiw your ex has already thought this through...

Get ready to meet her new bf she is bring home to meet her parents!

or she wants to get drunk and do you.

Yeah I know. I am probably going to get drunk play HSNL and profit $5000 after $40K+ of swongs.

2, but make the friend a guy. Every so often, say "yeah I used to be straight, but the last girl I saw could put a curve in a baseball bat" loud enough for her to hear.

Threesome with ex and hot friend ldo.

2,1,3,5,4

Pretending to be gay is a little gay. You can only "pretend" so long. I heard.

2 and 3, ldo, but it's more complicated than that. You need to really make her feel bad for coming onto your turf like that. Here's what I would do.

Of course you bring the hot girl. That will make ex-fiancee hosebeast want you more. So you relent and go home with her. She thinks she has won. But you've got something for her.

So, to recap:

1. Hot girl all over you at bar; EFHB jealous
2. Go home with EFHB.

When you get back to wherever she's staying (preferrable) you excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Now this is important, so write it down. Take the lid off the back of the toilet and:

3. Take a dump in the toilet tank.

Once you're done destroying the bathroom, go back to her and make sweet, sweet angry revenge sex. Really give it to her. Like you hate her (cuz you do, right?). But before that, when the clothes come off, you need to "stage" your escape. Make sure you tie your shoes in such a way that you can slip them on and off quickly without using your hands. Put any small articles, like socks or a watch, in your pants pockets so you don't leave them behind when you flee. Your clothes should be in a compact pile with boxers on top for easy access before your escape. Everything else you just grab. This is very important, so write it down.

4. Stage your getaway properly before the doin' it.
5. [censored] her like you're on a mission to destroy her insides.

Now, this is the most important part. When you're about to come, you need to pull it out and do it right on her face. Preferably, you'll hit her eyes, but if you don't it's not the end of the world. You then jump up, throw on your boxers, slip on your shoes, scream "Victory!" or something else that you might want to say and haul ass out of the room. The spooge all over her face will daze her to the point where you'll be able to get your shorts and shoes on without resistance. This is foolproof; as she is naked, there is no chance in hell she'll chase you. Run to your car, drive home, crack a beer and cackle with glee

So, to finish:

6. Come on her face, preferably in her eyes, but it's all good 'cause it's real degrading either way.
7. Yell in triumph.
8. Make your heroic getaway.
9. ?????????????
10. Profit

Fascinating, but rather involved it seems. Can't he just collect a lot of semen in a jerrycan, bring it to the bar and pour it over her?

Your point? Pretend for like half hour and then go behind the bar to the alley to blow the guy. It will mak eyour ex mad jealous and its the nice thing to for the guy who went out of his way to help you

Can I replace "victory" with "ship it holla"?

Absolutely. Ship it crucial would also be an acceptable answer. I might even consider lol donkaments.

/thread. victory is at hand.