Ask away.

gtfo

You gtfo. I'm Chris Hansen. I go where I please.

Why are you such a cockblocker?

who is chris hansen

Why the name chris?

why r u such a douchebag

Mr. Hansen, the orginization I represent was very impressed with how you orchestrated things in the Louis Conradt case, have you ever given any thought to joining the Chuch Of Scientology? We're always looking for a few good men, and you seem very deceptive and cunning, just the type of person we're looking for.

It's fun and I get paid.
An enigma wrapped in a sexy, sexy man.
It has a wonderful ring to it.
Because people like you exist.
Why thank you Tom. I'd love to.

That's great to hear Chris.

Say, since you've decided to become a Scientologist, (congratulations by the way, you're life will improve vastly), we at the COS have an idea for Dateline, and we're well aware of your position at NBC and how successful to catch a predator was.

We have an amazing idea for a show, and would be happy to work with you and Dateline. There is a group of elite internet hackers known only as anonymous, and they are responsible for many crimes against humanity. We have always worked hard to expose them and bring them to justice, and Dateline would be an incredible medium to further this cause.

You'll be hearing from us, let's do this!

Hey, Tom. I've forwarded this post to the big guys at NBC and Dateline and they think that it's an awesome idea. I personally have a deep seated hatred for these bastards after what they did to jailbait goddess Boxxy. While watching all of her videos I just wanted to shut her up by sticking a certain appendage in and around her mouth. We're going to expose these low lifes for the sick, perverted freaks that they are and hopefully Boxxy will take note of this and my undying love for her and we will marry in the process.

Boxxy is annoying as hell and brought tons of cancer to /b/

Chris, don't listen to this mouth piece. He's nothing more than a puppet for the criminal orginization known as the church of scientology. Did you know that the highest tax breaks are reserved for scientologists? The "church" brokered a deal with the IRS, and now they enjoy not only tax exempt status, but SUPER ****ing tax exempt status. Like .. over 9000

You seem to know a bit about our culture, Boxxy and all. Though we may have disagreements when it comes to her, I believe we have more common ground than we realize.

If you do a show, do a show that exposes the cult of terrorists that Tom Cruise represents.

gimmicks itt

While I agree with your point about Boxxy being annoying as hell, I would still hit it. I would hit it over and over again. Anyways, the guys at NBC and Dateline love your idea about exposing scientologists as the monsters that they are. We'd like to do interviews with you and other people from 4chan about this and of course the show about you guys. We will of course do the interviews in the dark and give you guys funny voice overs, so as not to reveal your true identities. Thanks in advance - C.H.

Sounds great Chris, but it will probably be a bit different. Anonymous would strongly prefer Skype, rather than meeting in person.

Also, you have told Tom Cruise that you'd do his show, and now you're telling me you'll do our show. WTF? Where do your loyalties stand?

Anonymous is not sure at this point if we're going to do the show or not. We may just infiltrate NBC and write memes all over the bathroom walls or something.

.. for the lulz obviously.

Hello, Anonymous. I just wanted to say that my loyalties lie nowhere except NBC and Dateline. I do plan on doing both shows because the more shows I make, the more money I make. Chris Hansen has a lot of things to buy. For example:

I bought my wife these shoes for Valentines day. They are very expensive. Anyways, if you and the rest of /b/ prefer to do skype, (I don't know what that is, but I'm Chris Hansen. I have NBC wrapped around my finger ldo.) then I'm sure we can have this arranged. Lastly, if you and the rest of anonymous really do have ill will towards myself or NBC and want to **** the bathrooms up, do it on Sunday. That's my day off. I'd hate to be dropping my brown babies off at the pool while you guys spray painted the place up, wet paper towels and then throw them at the ceiling, or whatever else it is you plan on doing there. Sincerely yours, C.H.

Anonymous demands that you, Chris Hansen, go into a Gamestop and give them your best, just like they were a pedo or something, and ask them why the **** they don't have Battletoads. Make this piece part of our show, and we've got a deal.

We'll use Skype, which is VOIP (voice over internet protocol). With it, you can make anonymous phone calls over the internet. Don't worry, we have our own voice changers.

Anonymous. This works out well for me as I have to go to gamestop anyway. After getting angry one day playing Call of Duty 5, I snapped my headset in half (I shot him in the face, right in the face, but he didn't die), so this will give me an excuse to go on and get a new one. Can't wait for the show, C.H.

Hi, is this the gimmick thread?

Are you a gimmick?

I don't care for the cut of your jib sir, so I shall be on my way. F U for posting in BBV4l for a reason other than to slander it.

F OOT

Why are you such a horrible gimmick?

entertaining thread with horrible gimmicks.

question for chris: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck chucked children?

grunching, how does it feel to be a piece of **** overused meme