Quote:
Originally Posted by Assani Fisher
And so when I see someone(regardless of their gender) who is demanding that other people see and understand their viewpoint but then outright insists that they already understand the other viewpoint and need to do zero work whatsoever in order to try to better understand it(which is exactly what she was doing)....well thats just sh*tty behavior imo, and it prevents us from having a better mutual understanding of each other.
I think redhat_jane should most definitely try to pattern herself after SGT RJ's awesome example. I mean, even a "yoyo/clueless boy" like me can see that this isn't an effective way to make change in the world.
so let me get this straight: i need to change my attitude and "pattern myself after SGT RJ" in order to appeal to your delicate sensibilities otherwise my thoughts aren't valid because i'm exhibiting "sh*tty behavior?"
yeah, no, you're totally right, that doesn't come off as condescending or misogynist AT ALL. because men haven't been telling me to smile and keep my mouth shut and be nice my entire life.
i also love how you've quoted me as saying that whether or not i personally have been raped shouldn't make a difference in how we discuss this issue. my entire point behind not discussing my personal experience (which, again,
i am not obligated to share with you random stranger on the internet) is that you NEVER KNOW who has been raped or sexually assaulted, therefore it's impossible to know if you've triggered or offended someone sitting at the table.
and i still maintain that as a man (prrrrobably a white man, i'm guessing) you do not have
any idea what the day-to-day experience of living as a woman entails. you don't leave the house and worry about being attacked if you leave a public place late at night, you don't have to deal with being groped by strangers on public transportation, or being assaulted on a dance floor at a nightclub. you don't know what it's like to sit in a Planned Parenthood to discuss your "options" or have to deal with people making judgements about your worth as a person solely based on the number of people you've slept with. as a man you don't have these fears instilled in you from early childhood, so when the ladies in the room are having a discussion about WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A LADY, perhaps your best bet is to just sit quietly and
listen rather than injecting your ridiculous etiquette requirements into the debate.
i'm not your women's studies professor, your girlfriend, or your mother. i am entitled to discuss this issue passionately and in whatever way i feel is most effective. not to mention the fact that
THIS FORUM WASN'T EVEN DESIGNED FOR YOU, IT WAS CREATED FOR WOMEN TO FORGE THEIR OWN SAFE SPACE FOR DISCUSSION WITHIN A HISTORICALLY MISOGYNISTIC & INSULAR COMMUNITY. ironic that you've basically come here to fish for praise about the progressiveness of changing your views (bully for you, mate!) yet you still felt the need to drag me and "my attitude" down because i did not appeal to you in the kindest manner possible. sorry, but i'm sick and tired of addressing these issues delicately. this is a serious topic with serious repercussions and couching my very real & valid opinions on the subject in niceties in the hopes of "converting" guys like you is
not high on my list of priorities. you know what IS high on my list of priorities? telling guys they shouldn't use the word "rape" as a casual threat or insult and making sure i don't get assaulted on my way thru parking lots.
so if you're looking for an apology or an admission of guilt of some kind, i'm afraid you're in the wrong forum, honey.
(oh, and i bet you don't appreciate my condescending use of the term "honey" because it infantilizes you and makes you feel as if i'm discounting you as a person? welcome to every single poker game i've ever played in.)