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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 08-26-2006, 03:37 PM   #201
tom10167
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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WOW EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NEEDS TO CALM THE [censored] DOWN AND BE HAPPY SOMEONE CARES ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR JOB. CAN YOU GUYS HONESTLY SAY YOU KNEW HOW POKER WORKED BEFORE YOU GOT INTO IT EITHER?
zeebo is right. as annoying as it is, think about this.

say you tell them you're a septic engineer.

are they going to ask you to come into their bathroom and inspect their [censored] just to make sure it looks normal? hopefully not.


you get the point.
I bet nobody starts acting all condescending around them and says "Man that job sucks." or "You must not have a wife because you're so dirty all the time."

Just like I don't tell 9-5ers "Your entire existence is miserable isn't it?"
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:39 PM   #202
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

People think i'm lazy just because I don't have a "real job" and that I rarely get up until the afternoon.

They're right.
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:12 PM   #203
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Last week, the most amazing thing happened.

My brother in-law, father in-law, and my sister in-law were all playing poker. All of these people play poker with friends and in the casino on a semi-regular basis, yet still believe that the game is all luck. My sister in-law's husband came over and asked what we were doing.

Long story short, he likes the game and ends up coming over for a home game. After the home game, he essentially expressed to me several concepts from the Theory of Poker. He said something to the effect of, "I see how you could make money in this game since in the long run, the better starting hands will make better hands, and if your opponents make mistakes, you profit."

It was pretty surreal. Especially since even a lot of the "smart" people I know dismiss poker as just another casino game.
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:16 PM   #204
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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MY MOM: "You're gambling again? You're an addict."


Me: "Screw you *****, I do what I want."
Your mom is his roommate's gf?
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:17 PM   #205
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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MY MOM: "You're gambling again? You're an addict."


Me: "Screw you *****, I do what I want."
Your mom is his roommate's gf?
Variance??
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:39 PM   #206
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

I actually had the opposite of the "losses" question from my loan officer.

Loan officer: These are the loans available, I recommend this one because it has the lowest interest rate.

Me: It looks like it's only available if your income is below a certain amount because it's a state program?

Her: Yeah, but you're below it, even including your poker income

Me: Is it based off gross or net income?

Her: Gross

Me: Then we won't qualify. The way taxes have to be filed on the poker winnings is that I report all the gross winnings and then itemize all the losses as deductions.

Her: I don't think that will be a problem.

Me: No, see, if I make 50k at poker this year, I'll have to report something like 300k winnings and itemize 250k in losses as deductions.

Her: You have losses?????
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:49 PM   #207
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Also I have this same problem, for some reason I only talk about my losses if at all so I keep getting questions like "so you think you're up overall?". ugh.
me too. i think most of 2+2ers think i'm a losing player. hahaha
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:49 PM   #208
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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STAKE ME
fyp
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Old 08-26-2006, 05:00 PM   #209
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

"Are you the teacher that went on the World Poker Tour?"
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Old 08-26-2006, 05:11 PM   #210
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Them: Have you ever had a Royal Flush
You: Yeah
Them: WOW! You must be really good!
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Old 08-26-2006, 06:15 PM   #211
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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to mother, after she kept asking:

me: "i dunno, i think i won $450 today or something."

her: "but how much did you lose??"
I get this too from people or "but how much did you have to spend to win that?"
I get that a lot. I'm also apparently a degenerate gambler who spends all his student loan money on poker.
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Old 08-26-2006, 06:40 PM   #212
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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I get this one a lot. As well as "Oh, do you count cards??"
Tell them: "Yes I count cards. But every time I get 52."
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Old 08-26-2006, 06:55 PM   #213
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Also I have this same problem, for some reason I only talk about my losses if at all so I keep getting questions like "so you think you're up overall?". ugh.
me too. i think most of 2+2ers think i'm a losing player. hahaha
that's because you are, fish
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Old 08-26-2006, 06:57 PM   #214
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Last night I was talking to a guy who had a home game from a few years ago. I mentioned that I'm playing 400NL and how my friends play 40/80 at the bellagio and some have played as high as 1k/2k.

Next part of the conversation goes like this.

Him: "Yeah that's crazy. Highest I ever played was like... 20/40... and it was only for a little bit."
Me: "Oh yeah? You bought in for like 1k or something?"
Him: "Uh.. yeah, but then I stopped."
Me: "Yeah, you need like 12k to play that right"
Him: "...yeah, it's crazy."

I get tired of these broke ass kids thinking they're baller because they play cards with their buddies.
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:27 PM   #215
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

A Phone Call with a Friend

Him: What are you up to?
Me: Just poker.
Him: Thought so. Are you at profitable tables?
My wife: NO, DOOFUS, HE'S JUST AN AS<font color="white"></font>SHOLE WHO FIGURED WE HAD WAY TOO MUCH MONEY SO HE SAT DOWN HOPING TO LOSE SOME OF IT TONIGHT

&lt;3 speakerphone
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Old 08-26-2006, 07:32 PM   #216
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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A Phone Call with a Friend

Him: What are you up to?
Me: Just poker.
Him: Thought so. Are you at profitable tables?
My wife: NO, DOOFUS, HE'S JUST AN AS<font color="white"></font>SHOLE WHO FIGURED WE HAD WAY TOO MUCH MONEY SO HE SAT DOWN HOPING TO LOSE SOME OF IT TONIGHT

&lt;3 speakerphone
Your wife kicks ass.

Best thread ever.
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Old 08-26-2006, 08:58 PM   #217
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wife kicks ass

I suck at golf but I was betting $250 a side getting 9 strokes a side. She called me on hole number 8 and asked what I was doing and I told her I was losing our son's college fund getting 9 a side for 250.

Her reply was,"at 9 a side all she can tell me to do is to double the bet and quit [censored] around"

She doesnt gamble at all but has lived with me for 20 years. She has finnaly figured it out.
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Old 08-26-2006, 09:37 PM   #218
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Yesterday I was talking to some people at the beach.

The dumb dude was 1st. I 2nd

What do you do for a living...
internet business

What Kind...
ecommerce

So what exactly do you do...
I play Poker (mistake #1)

You actually WIN money...
yep.

You know what the secret is to poker....
Nope

You gotta play good hands and stare into peoples eyes so you know what thye have.....
Thats not it at all

I am REALLY good at Poker I won like $70 in the casino the other day....
(probably a mistake)...I made $3500 in 3 hrs today.

REALLY...
yeah.

I think I went and talked to someone else after that.
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Old 08-26-2006, 10:38 PM   #219
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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You gotta play good hands and stare into peoples eyes so you know what thye have.....
Thats not it at all
I think you blew this. You should have asked him to elaborate.
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Old 08-26-2006, 10:49 PM   #220
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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to mother, after she kept asking:

me: "i dunno, i think i won $450 today or something."

her: "but how much did you lose??"
That's funny...that's the exact same line my mom gives me.
OH man, i HATE this one the most. The question confuses me and I don't understand what the hell is going on in their confused little minds:

friend: "how much did you make today?"
me: "about $450"
friend: "yea, but did you lose any?????"
me: "uhh...what? I said I made about $450. NET."
friend: "yea, but did you LOSE any!??!?!"
me: "I don't get the question. I said I netted $450, wtf?"
friend: he must have lost a lot...poor guy. too bad he can't play like I did at our last home game. I always hit that third seven.
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Old 08-26-2006, 11:08 PM   #221
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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OH man, i HATE this one the most. The question confuses me and I don't understand what the hell is going on in their confused little minds:

friend: "how much did you make today?"
me: "about $450"
friend: "yea, but did you lose any?????"
me: "uhh...what? I said I made about $450. NET."
friend: "yea, but did you LOSE any!??!?!"
me: "I don't get the question. I said I netted $450, wtf?"
friend: he must have lost a lot...poor guy. too bad he can't play like I did at our last home game. I always hit that third seven.
Yep. Standard. What you have to do then is just say, "Fine. I won $500 and lost $50. Does that make you happy?" Then you kick them in the shin.
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Old 08-27-2006, 01:45 AM   #222
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Them: Have you ever had a Royal Flush
You: Yeah
Them: WOW! You must be really good!
I have gotten this before. A variation is:
him: have you ever gotten a royal flush before.
me: yes
him: wow, you must play ALOT
me: you only have to play at least 1 hand to get a royal flush
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Old 08-27-2006, 01:49 AM   #223
Bill King
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Last week, the most amazing thing happened.

My brother in-law, father in-law, and my sister in-law were all playing poker. All of these people play poker with friends and in the casino on a semi-regular basis, yet still believe that the game is all luck. My sister in-law's husband came over and asked what we were doing.

Long story short, he likes the game and ends up coming over for a home game. After the home game, he essentially expressed to me several concepts from the Theory of Poker. He said something to the effect of, "I see how you could make money in this game since in the long run, the better starting hands will make better hands, and if your opponents make mistakes, you profit."

It was pretty surreal. Especially since even a lot of the "smart" people I know dismiss poker as just another casino game.
book smarts and actual intelligence is more different than black and white.
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Old 08-27-2006, 01:53 AM   #224
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

preaching to the choir
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Old 08-27-2006, 02:00 AM   #225
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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do any of you guys ever get fans? like ppl who know you from whatever and are like "OMG you're baronzeus?!!?!?"
I was playing 15/30 at the Wynn and some kid asked if I was 2+2. I said "yeah, I'm Private Joker." And he goes, "you're Private Joker? Wow, I thought you'd be a big black guy."

Actually, 6 people have said that to me when they met me.
wait, when we met you WERE a big black guy! ...was I that drunk?
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