Hes right you know

1. they look at me like im tarded. or get reall quit and act as if i just told them im from mars or some
thing.
2. someone came over while i was playing and was interested so i started to give them some advice about how to play. o i know how to play they said yep a few weeks ago in a home game i got 5 royal flushes in like 15 minutes im pretty good.
3. they want to stand over my shoulder and say stuff like. o wow you folded that or i would have called that.
4. and allways when there around and its obveous you just lost. so how did you do.

o wow i think we might have the same uncle. i dont talk to mine anymore. i forgot about him so
5. you play poker. thats all luck and cercumstance.

interwebs pokaz is rogged dad says

"So how do you win? Counting cards, right?"

LMFAO

Best was I was hanging out with a buddy of mine and his girl. We were talking and at one point my buddy starts talking bout his job and how much he hates it, and I'm like yea that sucks man. The his girlfriend says what do you do to me. Before I can answer my friend says he (he being me) plays online poker. Then she starts bragging about how she played online before and got 12th in a free roll before and got some money for it, like it was some big accomplishment then started telling me some bad beat stories that made no sense because she was saying stuff like my flush lost to a straight. Luckily my friend cheated on her and they broke up so never have to talk to her again yesssss.

LMAO for like 3 minutes.

Also, I don't seem to have this problem with friends so much because the majority I play in a homegame with. Every time I meet a new friend I slowly get them interested in my homegame, then casino trips, etc. ensue.
For most, meeting me has been a poor financial decision.

With coworkers and classmates, I usually keep very hush about playing poker. So I usually am just overhearing their poker-******ed-ness, like:
"Poker is easy. Preflop if you see an ace or pair, just bet until everyone folds."
"I've played online before. It's rigged because every time I am chip leader I lose every hand until I go out."
"I like playing poker. I've played Hold'em at the casino before, but I usually make all my money at Four Card Poker."

ugh.

Can you play poker for a living ?

"i think you can, but I think you're better off playing poker in person since you can see the person you're up against. Also, some people online use odds calculators and references so more than likely everyone online uses those. If you're playing in person, They have to memorize it in their head and will seperate the pros from the amateurs."

best response to the addicted accusation i've seen here

My gf loves this thread and thinks it's hilarious.

.

Congrats. You've attempted to troll an amazing thread with such a witty response.

you should have helped your father move you POS

LOL this and my mom ends up saying to my every now and again... " are you still playing BINGO?"

im like wtf and just ignore her. I can't really tell anyone about me playing online poker or poker in general.


lol @ his fyp.


note: this thread is 3 years old...


fyp and he is right about its 50/50

Go troll somewhere else you douchebag.

A few years ago I was opening up a bank account - The employee who was helping me out was about my own age and asked me what I do for a living... I hesitated of course but eventually decided he seemed cool and wouldn't get me into trouble. This is before I knew that bringing up poker was just like bending yourself over... He got pretty excited, went into all the typical stories about rocking 5$ home games. He even tried to coerce me into making my account password "poker." Long story short, I ended up getting his contact info and staking him online... he asked for a good amount of money and said I could trust him because I know where he works. I gave him 10$ and told him to play .01/.02 - I watched him busto in 5 minutes playing absolutely ridiculous and spamming into the chat box about how horrible they were. He then proceeded to ask for more money. I never got my 10$ back.

Now I just straight up tell people I'm unemployed and goof off on the computer all day. It's less embarrassing/annoying than telling people what I actually do. At least they believe me and I think they look down on me less - they think, "wow, so honest!" instead of "this guy's a degen/drug dealer" ect.

For quite some time I have been unfortunate enough to have my 2000+k hands session through a computer in our living room.
'' SOUL READ! GOD I AM SICK! ''
My mother looks at me like I m telling her that I am going to be the center for Knicks.
'' Just look at you...so you re winning huh? What is a soul read?''
'' Well it is basically having nothing but feeling that your opponents has a worse nothing and acting accordingly''
'' The house will take all your money sooner or later...''
'' Mom I am not playing against the site or anything...wtf!!''
Then my dad, who is half asleep, suddenly joins...
'' He doesnt make money! What kinda making money is that! No effort! ''

Now I look at what I wrote I realize how awful my life is...

Well, since I am a nerd I actually pronounce wtf instead of the bad curse word...so she doesnt get it...

LOL!

I found this thread Tuesday night and read the whole damn thing. I laughed my ass off the whole time. What I didn't do was learn something. Thursday I had an appointment for a cleaning at the dentist. After the standard half hour of torture administered by the hygenist, her and I are sitting there shooting the ****.


chickee: "So, you gotta go back to work after this?" (it's 1pm and I'm mad I'm awake.)

me: "no"

chickee: "Where do you work?"

me: "uh, um"

chickee: "Laid off huh? Seems like half the town is nowadays. Where did you work?"

me: (thinking WTF biotch, lay off it) "I don't really work anywhere. I just hang out."

chickee: "play video games huh? Ok?"

mewow, now she thinks I'm REALLY cool, I better say something) "kinda, I play da pokaz online."

chickee: (look of terror worse than when she was slashing my gums) "THAT'S ILLEGAL! You shouldn't do that!"

me: "yeah, ok, um, where's that dentist at?"


Needless to say I'm ******ed and can't remember even one of the ways mentioned to have this conversation correctly, in a +LifeEV way.

oh well

omg this is so amazingly true. i own my own computer tech business. makes me want to gouge out my eyes

"So, what's your strategy?"

in pstars chat:

Hero: why would they not allow ppl to cash out?
Hero: god...ppl are so stupid

Idiot[observer]: thats a good ?

Hero: there are thousands of players who make a living off of this site alone

Idiot [observer]: you mean they cheat


I dont tell ppl because most ppl are ****ing ******ed.