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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 02-04-2009, 10:10 PM   #1326
Iron Tamer
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Sydney601 View Post
its always 50/50 NO MATTER WHAT CARDS YOU HAVE.
Hes right you know
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:26 AM   #1327
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

1. they look at me like im tarded. or get reall quit and act as if i just told them im from mars or some
thing.
2. someone came over while i was playing and was interested so i started to give them some advice about how to play. o i know how to play they said yep a few weeks ago in a home game i got 5 royal flushes in like 15 minutes im pretty good.
3. they want to stand over my shoulder and say stuff like. o wow you folded that or i would have called that.
4. and allways when there around and its obveous you just lost. so how did you do.
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:33 AM   #1328
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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haha good posts here
I have an uncle who HAS to be right about everything no matter what
So he learns I'm a poker player and goes on and on about how its all about luck, how online you lose the only edge any professional has (physical tells) and he continued to say that in headsup its always 50/50 NO MATTER WHAT CARDS YOU HAVE. lol. Its so funny to sit there and listen/debate with him but man sometimes it really gets annoying. He thinks that online poker is completely rigged and he constantly tries to warn me to cash my money out before the site "presses the switch" to drain my bankroll. He has never played a game of online poker in his life. Hes played a few home games with us at family get togethers and hes always the first one out. Complete fish in the game to say the least.
o wow i think we might have the same uncle. i dont talk to mine anymore. i forgot about him so
5. you play poker. thats all luck and cercumstance.
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:11 AM   #1329
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

interwebs pokaz is rogged dad says
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:19 AM   #1330
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

"So how do you win? Counting cards, right?"
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:31 AM   #1331
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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My old boss found out through the grapevine somehow. She asked me lots of questions about it for a while, then told me her dad left her mom and has been a degenerate low stakes grinder in California for her whole life.

Sorry lady, tell your dad thanks for the monies.
LMFAO
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:58 AM   #1332
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Best was I was hanging out with a buddy of mine and his girl. We were talking and at one point my buddy starts talking bout his job and how much he hates it, and I'm like yea that sucks man. The his girlfriend says what do you do to me. Before I can answer my friend says he (he being me) plays online poker. Then she starts bragging about how she played online before and got 12th in a free roll before and got some money for it, like it was some big accomplishment then started telling me some bad beat stories that made no sense because she was saying stuff like my flush lost to a straight. Luckily my friend cheated on her and they broke up so never have to talk to her again yesssss.
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:05 AM   #1333
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Is that a jack?
LMAO for like 3 minutes.
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:20 AM   #1334
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Also, I don't seem to have this problem with friends so much because the majority I play in a homegame with. Every time I meet a new friend I slowly get them interested in my homegame, then casino trips, etc. ensue.
For most, meeting me has been a poor financial decision.

With coworkers and classmates, I usually keep very hush about playing poker. So I usually am just overhearing their poker-******ed-ness, like:
"Poker is easy. Preflop if you see an ace or pair, just bet until everyone folds."
"I've played online before. It's rigged because every time I am chip leader I lose every hand until I go out."
"I like playing poker. I've played Hold'em at the casino before, but I usually make all my money at Four Card Poker."

ugh.
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:45 AM   #1335
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Can you play poker for a living ?

"i think you can, but I think you're better off playing poker in person since you can see the person you're up against. Also, some people online use odds calculators and references so more than likely everyone online uses those. If you're playing in person, They have to memorize it in their head and will seperate the pros from the amateurs."
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:08 PM   #1336
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
i've gotten this so much as kind of a half joke half serious statement from girls mostly but also guys. my go to response is "if i was addicted i'd be making a lot more money. seriously, i'm really lazy when it comes to playing and it's hard to motivate myself to do it".
best response to the addicted accusation i've seen here
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Old 02-06-2009, 05:55 PM   #1337
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

My gf loves this thread and thinks it's hilarious.
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Old 02-06-2009, 06:42 PM   #1338
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Your gf loves my penis and thinks it's a triumphant bastard.
.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:21 PM   #1339
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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.
Congrats. You've attempted to troll an amazing thread with such a witty response.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:24 PM   #1340
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Fishbone View Post
I love this thread...

My dad once asked me if I wanted to do some work for foodmoney ( help him move ) and I told him I'd make more money staying home, he knows I play poker and as soon as he found out how much my roll was at the time I get the "You better cashout before you lose it all".
He also told my mom about it and she said the exact same thing, thank god I've moved out...

you should have helped your father move you POS
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:25 PM   #1341
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by nuggetz87 View Post
to mother, after she kept asking:

me: "i dunno, i think i won $450 today or something."

her: "but how much did you lose??"
LOL this and my mom ends up saying to my every now and again... " are you still playing BINGO?"

im like wtf and just ignore her. I can't really tell anyone about me playing online poker or poker in general.


Quote:
Originally Posted by tehworm View Post
.
lol @ his fyp.


note: this thread is 3 years old...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney601 View Post
haha good posts here
I have an uncle who HAS to be right about everything no matter what
So he learns I'm a poker player and goes on and on about how its all about luck, how online you lose the only edge any professional has (physical tells) and he continued to say that in headsup its always 50/50 NO MATTER WHAT CARDS YOU HAVE. lol. Its so funny to sit there and listen/debate with him but man sometimes it really gets annoying. He thinks that online poker is completely rigged and he constantly tries to warn me to cash my money out before the site "presses the DOOMSWITCH" to drain my bankroll. He has never played a game of online poker in his life. Hes played a few home games with us at family get togethers and hes always the first one out. Complete fish in the game to say the least.
fyp and he is right about its 50/50

Last edited by brokekid; 02-06-2009 at 07:36 PM.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:52 PM   #1342
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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.
Go troll somewhere else you douchebag.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:53 PM   #1343
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

A few years ago I was opening up a bank account - The employee who was helping me out was about my own age and asked me what I do for a living... I hesitated of course but eventually decided he seemed cool and wouldn't get me into trouble. This is before I knew that bringing up poker was just like bending yourself over... He got pretty excited, went into all the typical stories about rocking 5$ home games. He even tried to coerce me into making my account password "poker." Long story short, I ended up getting his contact info and staking him online... he asked for a good amount of money and said I could trust him because I know where he works. I gave him 10$ and told him to play .01/.02 - I watched him busto in 5 minutes playing absolutely ridiculous and spamming into the chat box about how horrible they were. He then proceeded to ask for more money. I never got my 10$ back.

Now I just straight up tell people I'm unemployed and goof off on the computer all day. It's less embarrassing/annoying than telling people what I actually do. At least they believe me and I think they look down on me less - they think, "wow, so honest!" instead of "this guy's a degen/drug dealer" ect.
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Old 02-06-2009, 09:27 PM   #1344
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

For quite some time I have been unfortunate enough to have my 2000+k hands session through a computer in our living room.
'' SOUL READ! GOD I AM SICK! ''
My mother looks at me like I m telling her that I am going to be the center for Knicks.
'' Just look at you...so you re winning huh? What is a soul read?''
'' Well it is basically having nothing but feeling that your opponents has a worse nothing and acting accordingly''
'' The house will take all your money sooner or later...''
'' Mom I am not playing against the site or anything...wtf!!''
Then my dad, who is half asleep, suddenly joins...
'' He doesnt make money! What kinda making money is that! No effort! ''

Now I look at what I wrote I realize how awful my life is...
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Old 02-06-2009, 09:36 PM   #1345
Ivan Drago
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Well, since I am a nerd I actually pronounce wtf instead of the bad curse word...so she doesnt get it...
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Old 02-06-2009, 10:44 PM   #1346
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliasUnrise View Post
A few years ago I was opening up a bank account - The employee who was helping me out was about my own age and asked me what I do for a living... I hesitated of course but eventually decided he seemed cool and wouldn't get me into trouble. This is before I knew that bringing up poker was just like bending yourself over... He got pretty excited, went into all the typical stories about rocking 5$ home games. He even tried to coerce me into making my account password "poker." Long story short, I ended up getting his contact info and staking him online... he asked for a good amount of money and said I could trust him because I know where he works. I gave him 10$ and told him to play .01/.02 - I watched him busto in 5 minutes playing absolutely ridiculous and spamming into the chat box about how horrible they were. He then proceeded to ask for more money. I never got my 10$ back.

Now I just straight up tell people I'm unemployed and goof off on the computer all day. It's less embarrassing/annoying than telling people what I actually do. At least they believe me and I think they look down on me less - they think, "wow, so honest!" instead of "this guy's a degen/drug dealer" ect.
LOL!
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Old 02-06-2009, 10:50 PM   #1347
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I found this thread Tuesday night and read the whole damn thing. I laughed my ass off the whole time. What I didn't do was learn something. Thursday I had an appointment for a cleaning at the dentist. After the standard half hour of torture administered by the hygenist, her and I are sitting there shooting the ****.


chickee: "So, you gotta go back to work after this?" (it's 1pm and I'm mad I'm awake.)

me: "no"

chickee: "Where do you work?"

me: "uh, um"

chickee: "Laid off huh? Seems like half the town is nowadays. Where did you work?"

me: (thinking WTF biotch, lay off it) "I don't really work anywhere. I just hang out."

chickee: "play video games huh? Ok?"

mewow, now she thinks I'm REALLY cool, I better say something) "kinda, I play da pokaz online."

chickee: (look of terror worse than when she was slashing my gums) "THAT'S ILLEGAL! You shouldn't do that!"

me: "yeah, ok, um, where's that dentist at?"


Needless to say I'm ******ed and can't remember even one of the ways mentioned to have this conversation correctly, in a +LifeEV way.

oh well
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Old 02-07-2009, 02:54 AM   #1348
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Dave I View Post
Try being a poker playing computer guy. I can't have any conversations about what I do for 14 hours a day without wanting to kill myself. I don't have much to say.
omg this is so amazingly true. i own my own computer tech business. makes me want to gouge out my eyes
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Old 02-07-2009, 03:24 AM   #1349
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

"So, what's your strategy?"
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Old 02-07-2009, 05:54 PM   #1350
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

in pstars chat:

Hero: why would they not allow ppl to cash out?
Hero: god...ppl are so stupid

Idiot[observer]: thats a good ?

Hero: there are thousands of players who make a living off of this site alone

Idiot [observer]: you mean they cheat


I dont tell ppl because most ppl are ****ing ******ed.
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