Played in home cash game (no rake obv) the other night, miscounted my stack somehow (lol?) by $20, but I was up so much I didn't care. Balla.

Involved in a conversation at a bar, girl approaches and tries to talk to me. I'm preoccupied and drunk and for some reason assume she is part of the waitstaff so I hand her $40 and ask for 4 shots for me and my friends. She leaves in a huff, and I realize she's is just a sociable customer. My friends get a good laugh out of it. Variance: she returns after 20 minutes somewhat angry but with 4 shots, I tip her the change. She leaves in a huff again (permanently this time).

I definitely spend more money on a lot of other goods and services, but the intervening 20 minutes between when she first showed up and when she came back was a nice wakeup call to how little I care about handing out $40 to randos.

lol this is the nutzz

Yeah it did fit walmart wallets are sick

lol nice

bought an xbox360 and call of duty 4 just so i could play with my friends online even though i have a ps3 and call of duty 4 already! =O

i once won 1100 at 100nl FR and didn't stop coz 1kusd was just not enough cash for my lifestyle and lost it all back like it was nothing

one time i put 5k on black and it came up red
for a wk after that i was the biggest racist **** on the planet

one winter, i was sitting with a couple of house mates in the living room discussing things we had to organize for the next week (shopping, bills, etc) while having a few beers.
my then gf arrived in her heavy winter coat. i meant to tell her to take off her coat, make herself comfortable, and i'll be with her in a few minutes.
what came out was: "go settle upstairs and take off your clothes. i'll be there in a few minutes."
she just nodded and left for upstairs. my house mates were pretty impressed. as was i.

I used to look after the company car fleet for a large company. We leased a lot of Audis and got some good perks from them - test drive all thier new cars, taken to football matches, motorshows etc.

The best one...

Picked up from my house by an A8L, taken to the private aviation part of Luton airport, flown to Rome on a private jet with 10 others, coach into Rome for the Roma vs Lazio derby, coach tour of Rome with hot tour guide, 4 course meal with lots of booze on the top floor of a 5* hotel in Rome. The tour guide then proceeded to sing with the piano player there - she had a good voice too, coach back to the airport, private jet back to Luton and then A8L back home.

Pretty cool trip!

Nicceee

And all this time in luxury you were wishing to bang the tourguide and not enjoying the trip fully because of it.

was playing 200 dollar blackjack hands and didn't even care when I lost a hand.....

No, she was just nice to look at. Have a gf at home so looking is fine!

Finishing 2nd and 1st in two consecutive days in a $4k Guaranteed $11 Freezeout on iPoker, for a total of $1.8k.
Beat : cashed out $1.3k to pay my debts.
Variance : only paid $300 to a loan shark... the rest... i don't remember...

Also, was feelin' balla playing 1/2ron (that's ~NL50) live in the back of a bar, winning a 1000BB pot in a hand against 4 dumb players...

Paid my friend's sister to have sex with me.

wow that sounds really out of line by her lol

maybe it was a joke that came out awkwardly

Well if you don't respect her and yourself enough to do so such a thing, might as well post pics and TR of how this happend

was walking down the street, saw a bum. Went to the atm and withdrew 200 pounds

Went up to him, threw the notes in the air and shouted "let it rain"

I then cooly walked away. As I walked away I handed my custom designed ivory business card to this girl and said nothing. She just knew

AND THEN YOU WOKE UP

I was at the rio in july. I bubble a 500 deep stack at the V akss in the co to aa vs a total sicko in the bb. Then bubble the 5k single table satty qq to aa. FML etc...

Anyway I'm stuck like 3k on the day. I get drunk and go play roulette at the rio before going to sleep. Next thing i know i'm up like 6k in an hour. Anyway, as im leaving I throw the dealer a black chip since I'm drunk and happy to have made a profit at the most -ev game ever. Anyway, as I'm leaving some bitch who had been sittin at the table for a while says, "for 2 more of those, you could have this" , while motioning over her body. So I look at her, grab two blacks, wait for her to smile a little, and ship em to the croupier. Felt pretty balla till the next morning when I realized I gave 300 to a random roulette dealer.

croupier must've been a good lay!

God , why i'm trolling so much

A friend once won a "free mcdonalds visit". He could bring like 6 or 8 ppl and all could eat as much as they wanted for free.

Brag: free food
Beat: I was like 10 and it ruined my life

I got a massage every week during the summer and there was always this super cute receptionist working there. One day I took a couple muscle relaxers and felt like I was on heaven after. I was in such a haze and stumbled out to the front desk and could barely stand, it was euphoric. Cute receptionist says "you act like you don't know what to do, you come every week" as I'm just standing there trying to think of what to tip my masseuse because I honestly couldn't think straight. I just told her to add $50 bucks for a $40 massage. I could tell it got her excited.