OP lacks creativity. Lots of good lines like...

"I thought you're supposed to straddle?" Ignoring for a second that a n00b doesn't even know what a straddle is.

"I have position on you" when defending a raise when you're one of the blinds. This will confuse most people but thats the idea.You're trying to emulate a "I'm a clueless idiot".

"How much can I raise?" This works well in a limit game (lhe, any stud game, mixed games, etc). You would be surprised how many times the same players ask how many times they can raise after they've been playing all night in a fixed limit game.

Never post your blinds. This is a pretty obvious one. Don't post the blinds until the dealer asks you to every.single.orbit.

Seriously, get creative.

x/shove every flop when you can beat AK

I play in a reg filled game and I saw a guy pull off the rare trifecta of:

- IWTSTH after a guy raised the river and called a 3!
- elongated slow roll with commentary
- misdeclaring his hand in purposefully broken English

It was consecutive hands so sort of special. Amazingly this guy was terrible so no one said anything until the last one.

Hf

Asking if they offer coaching when they criticize someone's play at low limit games is also fun.

One that almost got me black balled was "I see you charging mark up on Twitter , playing like that you should sell at .90"

become a winning player, that way regs wouldn't want to play with u

I am not wondering about that. Since u give ur opinion in every thread it seems like ur on the same attention-whoring-level than her

Hahahahaha

****ing brilliant. I'm seriously tempted to do it next time I'm at Foxwoods just for wtf moments memories. Would be hard to keep a straight face though, haha.

Read MTT posts outloud at the table

Ask them what they do for a living especially after they do some lol live pro **** like limp 34 suited or 7.5x it pre.

Asking regs if they "play poker for a living" almost always throws them off their handle and start playing less than optimal.

OP, all the shenanigans in the world won't send a reg into tilt mode as much as asking them if they play poker for a living. Mainly because it's not a high profile "profession". Winning pros hide their money from the government and don't want to be taxed or anything. Start asking questions about where they play and how much they make. Be very invasive.

It's a double edge sword. No poker player likes to give out information. For one playing poker for a living is not considered noble or socially accepted. And secondly, no player will admit to being a perpetual loser. On the flip side, no player will admit to being a perpetual winner either because of said tax reasons. It's a double edged sword.

GLuck.

say " nh " when you win a hand. and when he loses say " **** u lost that much "?

Oh yeah that will really get them.

dildo

You are seriously the single biggest ****ing dolt on this forum.

Congrats and thanks for proving you never really play poker (except your 10c/20c live game in a ****ing pizza shop storeroom)

I agree only with the point of needling the players who deserve it. The only thing u may need to say to a nit is to say he is one, as he doesnt exactly want the whole table to be so aware of it, it being the same reason they often dont like huds.

Other than that i could mostly needle the online sites about the rake and the multitabling players when too low for their skills, including the ones who might be bots, in case u might make the table aware of how much they play. Not sure about calling them a bot is a good idea. You could call the good player good, that might make some opponents more timid, but he isnt bothered at all until he has to play like a nit. I think it is plus ev online for the good player when the ops get more predictable.

The governments raking peoples hobbies to steal money and they think it is okay. U could also needle someone to shut up in a productive and fair manner, or ask someone to take a shower, as he probably wont enjoy being the smelly one, and if he does, complain to the dealer.

Ask if their sister is single

Apart from thinking that a poker player would be concerned about social acceptance in a freaking poker room, you seem somehow unaware that almost nobody likes to give out such information, no matter how 'noble' the profession, when confronted with an aggressive/invasive interrogation about their career and finances.