i just got a text from my ex-girlfriend. we used to have sex on the back porch of her house until her dog came by and started assisting in what i can only describe as an interspecies double penetration. i was revolted. she said to "keep going."
i was caught in a crossroad...do i leave with blue balls or do i bust a nut while ****ing her while her dog is ****ing her in the ass? you'd think it'd be a simple decision to just walk away but jesus, a man's gotta bust a nut, right?
i closed my eyes and tried to hurry up but then i heard a combination of moans and barks that slowly deteriorated into my girlfriend and my girlfriend's dog both barking simultaneously. that was bad enough but then i saw my girlfriend's cat on the floor staring at the dog and the girl like "i got next, brah"
wtf
that was enough for me. i pulled out and walked away. i'm not sure if the cat got involved, but i'd rather not think about it. we hadn't spoken since, which i find a little insulting that i was so seamlessly replaced by a dog and potentially a cat
anyway, the text asked if i saw last week's episode of "lost"