Today I convinced myself that online poker was crooked after depositing 100 dollars not long after cashing out, and proceeding to lose it right quick. I scoured the internet in search of people like myself who happened to be both a winning online player, and someone who was convinced that online poker was rigged.

I'm pretty big on consipircy theories, and believe that we never landed on the moon, The New England Partiots cheat, and that Elvis lives in a nursing home in Texas where he battles Ancient Egyptian Soul Suckers. So when I go on a losing streak, obviously it's not my fault, or something that just happens from time to time, but an EPIC conspiracy coordinated by several rich jewish men on the island on mann.

I'm not proud to admit this, but I just spent the last 3 hours trying to convince myself that online poker is rigged and that I shouldn't waste another second of my life grinding it out on Pokerstars. What did I discover after several hours of hard core investigation? The same thing I've always known.

Of course online poker rigged, but is it out to get me? I wish that It was, I want it to be, it would give me a legitimate excuse as to why I havn't become a great poker success yet. The truth of the matter however suggests that my lack of any real success falls entirely on my shoulders. Online poker being rigged, or not rigged has nothing to do with the my lack success.

What I discovered may shock you. I've played alot of poker on stars over the past few years (before that I played on party), and I've played that poker under several different screen names (not to cheat, but to avoid pokertracking software, and of course the doomswitch). Earlier today I was convinced that I hadn't made millions of dollars on pokerstars because it wouldn't let me, but what I found out was that I wouldn't let me.

At the height of my extream monkey tilt "poker stars is rigged" scream a-thon i decided to do something I'd never done before. I shark scoped ever name I've ever played under on Stars, and the results were shocking.


They all had the exact same ROI (24%) over nearly the same amount games played (between 600-1000 each, for a total of about 5500 games). That's when it hit me, Pokerstars doesn't want me to fail. Pokerstars isn't out to get me, and that I could win money stars. How can I think winning is impossible, when I'm a long term winner?


The reason I'm not rich interesting enough is because I'm so damn poor. I deposit 50 dollars into stars, run it up to several hundred (in a few cases several thousand) and instead of moving up in limits. I CASH IT ALL OUT, and start over with 50 dollars. Then when i go busto with that 50 dollars, I scream "POKERSTARS IS RIGGED). The truth is, my failure is my fault.

why post this?

So that maybe some bustos can learn a thing or two from what he's got to say?

true true.
[x] online poker is riGGGGGEd

this is quite possibly the stupidest thing i've ever read. you are a marginal winner at poker because you are inherently ******ed.

Exactly.

But is 24% roi marginal?

Stopped reading here.

lol @ 800+ posts.

so after 800 posts you finally realized online poker isnt rigged? imagine what you'll know after 1800 posts...

I've always known. I'm just unreasonable.

wtf is this ****

Stopped reading here + knew OP sucks at poker.

If you rub one out right before you click submit on your next $50 deposit, you'll cashout 6 figures later on in the week, I promise.

omg, all EXACTLY 24%???? that proves it IS rigged, u ******!

lol at replies.

a surprisingly decent post
except for the +24% thing it sounds true enough

6 accounts, under 6 different names. All with 24% roi, seems pretty not rigged to me.

imma hav to do dis right quick

such an obv level

I read three paragraphs and you are either trying to be funny and fail at humor catastrophically or you are serious and you fail at life even harder.

u broke Pokerstars tos by sharkscoping

I am fail.

so.... why did i just read this again?


OPIPHANY, or however u spell it..


[X] OP HAD AN OPIPHANY

Um, I just read this. It was supposed to say if you rub one out to Herschel Walker***. I have no idea how I forgot that part.