Boing flip!

Love scrubs

in be4 jon bradshaws rant

keep on trucking 8-)

t

a man walks down the street
its an extremely strange world
maybe its the third world
or maybe its his first time around
doesn't speak the language
holds no currency
he is a foreign man
he is surrounded by the sound sound
cattle in the marketplace
scattering rings of orphanages
he looks around around
he sees angels in the architecture
spinning in infinity he says hey alleiluyah

if you'll be my bodyguard
i can be your long lost pal
i can call you betty
and betty when you call me
you can call me al,
call me al

keep on trucking 8-)

jay b

Sing it JB!

keep on trucking 8-)

AR

yep, cancer is def the right word as he's probably a /b/tard (oh noes I broke rules nr 1 & 2), so you're better off putting him on ignore, because it's only a matter of time before he unleashes the fury of the cumguzzling inbred ****** he is, and will get v& in time for all the cp he is probably downloading atm.

Your erroneous lyrics are a disgrace to everything that is Paul Simon. Go jump off a bridge (into troubled waters)

keep on failing 8-)

Oh cool, a fellow /b/tard! God, it's so weird seeing them with screen names.

It took me 10 minutes to break the code, but yeah, whatever...

Well I must apologize for my delaying in continuing on with the telling of the hand. You see, I was feeling a bit peckish and well, when one gets the twangs of hunger one cannot sometimes focus on the task at hand. It is like a good friend of mine used to say, whose name I will not post on this user-based group for fear of embarrassing him. But he used to say “when one gets the twangs of hunger one cannot sometimes focus on the task that one is trying to accomplish.” I just shortened up his original saying by indulging in a bit of colloquialism.

I must comment on the boorish behaviour of the entire Bradshaw clan. I personally do not know who raised them, but I am glad that it is no one of my direct lineage. There is a time and place for garrulous behaviour. Believe me, I was once quite the rapscallion in my day, but even I in my younger years knew there were limits and boundaries that civilized people simply do not cross. To Jon Bradshaw, assuming you are the patriarch of the clan, please keep your namesake under wraps. A comment or two here or there is fine and even welcomed, but to behave so rudely in someone else’s internet posting shows that you lack certain manners. I am sorry for being so brusque but I felt the matter needed to be addressed.

Now back to the hand at task (I do so love punnery…it is a guilty vice of mine that I have had since I was but a wee lad. I hope you do not take offense at my wordplay, reader, as it is only meant with the absolute greatest of intentions.)

Now, if you recall I was holding the Letters A and Q, both of clovers and both unbeknownst to my opponent in this hand, who I see people often refer to as the “villain.” While normally I am not fond of such harsh language and labeling, I will use the phrase to avoid confusion. If the chap who was my opponent in this particular hands reads this and takes offense to being referred to as a villain (for truth be told while we were at odds during this hand he seemed overall to be an agreeable fellow and I do not wish to brand him negatively in a public forum) then I will cease using that terminology. The initial three card sequence (not including the burn card, as you recall) were the letters J of clovers, Q of hearts, and K of clovers. I was drawing to the best hand possible in all of Hold Me. So imagine my surprise when the villain LEAD OUT AND BET this flop!!!!

And, reader, he not only bet it, but he bet an amount that far surpassed what he put into the pot earlier in the hand before there was a dealt flop. This time, his bet once again consisted of only three chips, however the difference being that the color of one of the chips was completely different than the color of any of the chips used thus far in the hand. This color was far more valuable. In fact, it would take several of the original raising color to equal just one of this new color. I was stunned to say the least.

After his raise, he sat back, smug and smiling. He thought I would fold my hand and concede the pot to him right then and there, but little did he know how strong my hand was. He was about to find out!

I reached into my stack of chips, and perhaps unbeknownst to this “villain” threw in the same number of chips, matching him color for color. My hand was shaking but I released them into the pot. I then declared “I not only call your bet with an equal number of chips, but I would like to elevate the amount in the pot by adding additional chips of varying color to those already placed into the pot by yourself!”

This is when the dealer said to me “I am sorry sir, but you cannot do that. It is a string bet.”

Now dear reader when I heard this I was shocked and appalled. This was the first time in my life that I had ever been accused of cheating. I assure you, I used no string, rope, or any other method except for my own hands when placing the chips into the pot. I sensed that the dealer may perhaps be in dalliance with the “villain,” but lacking the evidence needed to make a proper accusation I did not say anything. I only said “sir, you are mistaken.”

He dismissed my plea and said that I may continue in the hand, but may not elevate the price to play in the hand until a future round!!!! I was angered to say the least and I stood up and insisted I speak to the person in charge of the live casino poker room! Imagine my horror when they only person who responded to my cries was the janitor!

Now, I am not elitist, but what does a janitor know of the ways of cards? At this location he was not even given the elevated title of janitor, but rather was simply called by the area he was relegated to clean. This janitor, whose job it is to take care of the floor apparently, agreed with the dealer that I used string to illegally make my bet and thus it would not be counted. I sat down, as I could see there was nothing I could do in the matter. I also have heard stories of people getting manhandled by crooked card rooms, and while I initially believed the establishment I was to be reputable, twinges of doubt were starting to cross my mind. I decided not to pursue this matter further at that time, but I did write a very strongly worded letter to Mr. Harrah when I arrived home.

With all betting closed on this round the dealer was finally ready to bring about the turn and next stage of this hand of poker.

But unfortunately dear reader my time is up for the moment, and I must leave you. I do promise to continue with the tale once again at a later date and will try to look into that hand conversion tool I have heard so much about. From what I hear it would save quite a bit of time when regaling you of future hands of the evening.

And to those who say “OP, you are trying to hard!” I must address this issue. While I do in fact struggle through the daily grind of life as some of you do, when speaking of the poker and in particular this amazing hand, the little time I spend relaying this tale to you is no bother or effort at all. And so that those people will relax as to my level of effort, I synchronized my chronometer at the very start of typing this response, and can assure you that, up to this point, the entire message took me nary 43 seconds to scribe, so do please forgive the occasional typo.

I will again leave you with a poker saying to think about. This one from a player I hear is one of the biggest winning gamblers in all of Scotland. I must paraphrase once again as the original eludes me: “If you match the exact color and denomination of the chips that I have already put into this pot, then your participation in this tournament will have reached its logical culmination and will come to an abrupt end, and I will be declared the victor and you will go home defeated, my child.”

Cliffs

Live Casino Pokers: Texas Hold Me - 10 players

Pre Flop: Hero is MP1 with A Q
1 fold, Villain raises, 2 folds, Hero calls, 5 folds

Flop: J, Q, K

Villain bets, Hero calls

to be continued...

i was totally expecting the fresh prince at the end of that text wall... i actually went to bottom of OP to look for it right at the start.... oh well

This is not funny at all and I gave it one star.

lol wp

I found it amusing, you should definitively go through the whole session with us King Fish

this was actually pretty funny

Riveting narrative is riveting sir.

I anxiously await further updates regarding the progression of events during this interesting and unexpected relation of events corresponding to the aforementioned "texas hold me" game, or whatever it is referred to as these days by those online internet hipster chaps.

keep on trucking 8-)

AR

ps I do believe you are mistaken in your statements regarding the ethnic heritage and speech patterns of one Prince of Poker.

wat

Allow me to inquire on the matter of the identity of the bizarre canine you have in your image display box.

[ ] I love how you call them clovers

I disagree with those saying OP is trying too hard. In fact, he is trying exactly the right amount.

Well played, thus far, Mr. Fish.

When will we know if the 10 of clovers shows its face?!

trying way too hard to be a boring douchebag.


loved the Scotty sentence , good stuff

5 stars for this paragraph alone.

OMFG iv'e been listining to paul simon all week good shout m8t