Number 1 tilts the **** out of me, I actually have to leave the table to cool down after it happened to me twice in an orbit, same guy both times. When I got back he told me that everyone does it and I'm a little bitch for not being able to take a joke.

I agree on this one but it really depends on how big the game is. The bigger the game definately the better the conversation (basically 5/10NL+). I really dont want to talk to 99% of people playing 1/2 live.

Also one thing I really didnt like while playing in vegas was people just picking up a pile of bills and throwing them into the pot scattering them all over the table. Takes the dealer 10 mins to collect and count. Especially when they have enough chips to make the bet.

Also slowrollers die

the 5-10 stack pisses me off alot

i say one time dealer a lot, sue me.

and i drink alcohol when im playing, should i go to AA? if drinking when you're 21 is enough to send you to aa some of you need to go outside more

The guys who talk about the poker world and make wild assumptions about players. Especially about what happens in the Big Game. Usually something along the lines of, "Doyle Brunson makes like $10 million everyday playing poker."
I really wish I could remember some of the gems I've heard. People think they know all of these tourney pros bc they saw a segment on ESPN. It seems that most people believe that Andy Beal or some other rich person comes to town everyday and dumps millions of dollars.

I really hate the old nits who don't like me talking during the game, especially if one of my friends is in the game. They have called the floor on me many times when I am just sitting there shooting the **** with a buddy, talking about basketball or whatever, and they think I'm trying to cheat. I've told them I'll talk when I damn well please, and they will call the floor and they will ask me to not talk during a hand or something like that. I said show me the rule and I'll follow it, they can't obviously.. so I keep on chattering especially if I know it pisses them off. Same god damn nits that buy in with 20bb and use the rule they don't have to post if they get busted during a hand so they come in behind the button for free.

That guy who says: I call you, I have to leave anyway!

This always really confuses me. Why would you take your bird with you to play poker? And why the f would she agree to bore herself for ages watching you?

My GF has 10 good reasons.

Blow me?

the nerdy online player who can't cut his ****ing checks to make a bet

100%

Teatotalling bottled water drinking a-holes.

women.

When some ****** ask after hand: "What ya got? you bluff me? Get the **** over it!! Small hand small pot!! All i did was outplay you and continuation bet!! Not a big deal im blufffin most of the time!!! GODDAMIT SHUT UP!!

I'm a huge fan of the staring contest that takes place after a bet and call on the river as neither is willing to turn up the their cards until the other does. F'n morons.

Also:

Daniel Negreanu Imposter

You're sitting there trying to observe the action and waiting patiently for the next hand after you've long folded and you've got the guy next to you "hand-reading" out loud to you. And by "hand-reading" I mean "completely guessing hands that are nowhere close to what the players have".

"oh, he has to have Ace King here. Or maybe King Queen. Yeah, It has to be King Queen"

* T9 and 66 get turned over for a straight and a set *

Every. F'n. Hand.

People that force the dealer to show a losing hand at the river because they want to see how that person is playing.... @!#$% you

oh for sure, I sure know I hate it when a drunk fool sits next to me and donates his stack

QFT my girl always wants to go to ac with me, but its ridiculous to put her through that. ac card rooms are not the place to bring your gf....

the people who name every type of hand someone can have during their hand reading exersice. " what do you have ak, aa, a set, busted draw, u betting ur j that hard???" its hilarious

---people who try to read my soul at the table, knowing damn well that they have no idea what they are even supposed to be looking for.

" oh he blinked twice and looked away... i call"

a lot of this stuff is whatever to me, but this one is at the top of my list. I had some fat slob giving lessons at my table and she also kept talking about how men suck and women are better players. " men are so easy to read , i always know what they have , women are so good"



yeah keep calling all ins with 77 genius

Incorrect statistics man is also one of my favorites. I had one tell me (after I flashed a missed royal flush draw that blanked the turn and riv) that I was 500,000:1 for hitting my royal (or whatever the actual number is). Of course, he got this info off of his card protector.

I forgot this gem!

3.) The a-hole who stacks his chips in stacks of 10 chips. Even more ******ed is when by the grace of god he has like 1500 in 5 dollar chips and they spread halfway around the table!

3.5) When the same goofball takes like 2 hours to call a bet after checking/ fumbling around and then re-checking his chips to make sure that his stacks have 10 in them. People who stack chips in stacks of less then 20 are 100%full blown ******s.

I loled...classic poker moment