after growing tired of these agressive whores giinding on my leg that I can't even try to proposition due to the ungodly amounts of whiskey corsing through my veins a little miracle happens. My friedns phone is sitting on the table and a facetime call comes though. I can't see straight enough to read the name so i pick it up and start mumbling nonsense. The voice on the other end sounds somewhat upset. Turns out
. Sorry bro, there is going to be some collateral damage when you start drinking heavily at 7:30am. At this point I have had my fill of this strip club bull **** but knowing its my last night I still have some gambol and hooker hunting to do. So I pull an irish exit and stumble into a cab. I have no how idea people can see this in me but within 30 seconds of being in the cab the driver asks if i want to go skiing. I act sceptical and haggle with his lolvegas cabbie pricing and skeptically buy a teener. I do not ask if I can partake in the back seat and proceed to rip as much as I could fit on the corner of my hand. Those of you that know the feeling know I was now sober, feeling like superman and readxy to continue drinking my face off.
I head back to Cesars do the walk of shame again and start playing $5 SL VP. The high limit slots there let you double or nothing for no edge, yea that worked out great. I just sit there ripping lines right at the VP machines until I bust out my roll, save enough money for breakfast before I leave. I did hit 1 quads for 625, hit the double up button and pull, you guessed it
. By the time I am down to my last grand I am somehow lucid enough to know that there is no way I can win enough back to feel better so I pop a xanny head to my room, pound two shots of whatever they had in there and am out like a light in 10 minutes.
Wake up same breakfast routine, and then I meet this fine young lady
I collect my things, leave $20 for the maid because there is seamen and god knows what other bodily fluids scattered throughout the room and head to the airport. Filled with shame I end up getting there 2 hours before my flight because I had had enough of the desert. Fortunately airports have bars and airplane drunk is a top three drunk. So I just sit at the airport crushing double vodka sodas (gotta highdrate at this point). 8 of those and 2 hours later american airleines send my broke ass home with 3 pennies and a ball of lint in my pocket and a hightened chance of having an sti.
Did I mention I ****ing love vegas?