top degen as usual, the only way to keep some money in your pokect is colapsing drunk

Yesterday morning i am scrambling around trying to figure out how to pay rent(a really depressing feeling) by calling up all my buddies asking if they want to buy ACR funds. My acct was and still isn't verified and cashing out takes at least a week. So i took my measly $350 which was the remainder of my checking acct to blackhawk(colorado casinos). Half my rent is $658 so the goal was to make at least $350. Ended up making just shy of 400. Nothing too crazy hand wise except the third hand i was dealt i 3 bet pre than triple barreled with AK on a dry QT232 he folds to the 100$ cap river and shows a Q before mucking his cards. I had never been so nervous at a 1/2 table. Immediately i left scrambling to Walmart to get a money order and i barely make to my office before 6 pm to pay rent. Very sick feeling of being elated and bothered at the same time. One of my buddies calls me back later that night saying he will buy my ACR funds tomorrow morning at .80/1. At this point i agree since i have almost 0 dollars and to get verified and cashout would take weeks most likely. I go on to bust my ACR account late last night and this morning(about 1k) and had been playing very tilty since midway through late last nights session. So i now i sit here virtually broke pondering my next move as i feel like one hell of a degenerate idiot.

On the plus side Kyle, your rent is paid for another month in winter

Pocket, they comp u rooms but dont comp u cigs.. thats messed up lol

They charge 2/1 comps in the gift store. No way I'm spending 30 comp dollars on a pack of cigs.

Pocket...........whats ur bets at Craps?

Pass Line, full odds, and some numbers and hardways when I'm hot

I need to explore other games then roulette

I started out playing online poker in 2007, I found playchips on Pokerstars, and fell in love with poker. One day I entered a freeroll and cashed for $5.00. I was on the .net client of Pokerstars, and did not know there was a .com site where real money was allowed, lol. This was 2009. I played occasionally in penny games and freerolls from 2009-2010, clueless to optimal poker. In 2011, I started actually learning poker, and found full tilt poker. I deposited $10 and instantly blew it. There were private freerolls for specific forums on FTP, along with the public ones. I became a freeroll whore, doing whatever the **** I could to get into these freerolls. I won a bit, and took my money to 2nl, finding success there in early 2011. I remember playing with Matt Sexton, who for whatever reason was playing 2nl as a sponsored FTP pro, fairly often. Quite a few of the regulars had a name for him. "Sir Sexalot" Fastforward to April 2011, I was beating 5nl, and was a few buyins from shotting 10nl. Black Friday hits, **** off. I login to my FTP account and can't play for real money anymore. I lost interest in poker for the next year and a half, and pretty much took an interest CoD. In late 2012, I got bored of video games and decided it was time to go back to poker. I was unaware there was real$ sites avail got American players, so I started out in Pokerstars HomeGames for playmoney. My 2008 style somehow made me a top player in these games, in June of 2013, I went back to one of the forums I used to freeroll whore on and found out there was still a few sites where Americans could play online poker for money. I did what I had to do to get in and created a Carbon poker account. I won $4.50 off one of Thor freerolls, and began grinding $0.11 hypers and 0.25 and 0.60 MTTs. In just four months, my roll had reached $400, then things took a turn for the worst. I started playing MTTs and 10bb 6max hyper turbos out of my limits. Playing $11 hypers and MTTs on a small roll like I had was a hug mistake. I just played them occasionally, until I started running awful in my lower stakes games and tilting like crazy. Short term variance was not something to my knowledge at the time, clearly. One night in December, I decided to play an $11 turbo on a $250 roll after down swinging quite a bit that week. I got 3 outed on my first entry and then tilted off two more bullets. I regged a $33 6max hyper on tilt, and proceeded to lose KK<AA for a large pot, this just set me off. I did an unimaginable thing by regging another $33 hyper, and a $109 hyper, obv bricking both. I clearly realize now how bad I used to be at 6max hypers. The next day I blew off the rest of my roll playing $11 hypers like a dolt. A $400 roll I built from nothing over months time had been pissed away in two nights due to my degen-ness. Unlike many other degens ITT, that experience taught me a lot. As currently in the last 11 months, I started from the bottom again and have since profited over 5figs on Carbon The story above is in the past, it amazes me how much of a dolt I was a year ago.

One of my few online poker degen tales...I found online because my dad played a lot on pokerstars and full tilt. I would say he was a recreational player, but held his own in $20 sit n goes and even once won a $75 tournament for $4k on Full Tilt. So anyhow, this sparked my interest and in 2006 I started playing and would play $5 sit n goes heads up. I also once played a girl strip poker and ended up fingering her on my living room floor but that is another story. I progressed to playing a little higher, but never degened like i did on the casino games. In fact, now i wish i had, as my odds were a lot better in 2007-2008 online poker even at high stakes maybe out of my ability level, then they were playing $1-5 slots and 3 card poker which is how i started really losing money at the casinos. I found my other favorite cards later and became a "wiser" degen with bac/bj, knowing my odds or whatever. Still sucks if you play blackjack for most of your roll or baccarat your at a disadvantage, stock market beats the casino wins for any smart investor, but we gamblers are not smartest investors. Notice I did not say we are not smart people, for many are incredibly smart. Most if true degens, are also very clever when it comes to getting money. the f do we do. So the story goes I busted my $100 in my pokerstars account playing heads up cash games, and asked my dad if I could play on his. He agreed, I got in a few sit n goes, did alright ran his $200 to $300 the first night. But then I stayed logged on so he could not access it and kept playing, now $10-20 hypers turbos sit n goes. Up to $400, starting taking shots at the $76 sunday million sats and cashing in through 2+2 when i won. Up to $800, then a $215 and won, up to $1000. I was so happy, thought i made dad proud. Sent him an email about how well i was doing and requested a cashout for $500. Told him i would split with him, but i had to keep playing and ride this hot streak. Well i still remember playing 2 $75 and 1 $215 , and I was on the bubble got QQ in the $215 but due to 3 games on a laptop, my dumb ass misclicked fold I lost after that too! Ran that account into the ground, canceling the cashout too. Next day my dad was watching my play by searching for me well his account name, and called me. He says I know you lost it all, you were playing $75 games last night, now your in a $.025 sit n go. yep degens gonna degen!

^Do you know what a paragraph is m8?

I've always had a hard time understanding straight's stories and I speak degen.

I know my stories aren't that great, and I am not a great writer. I guess I just like to share. I have tried my best not to gamble, and I have not since my last documented trip, where I took a cash advance and won a nice chunk of money back. I decided its just not worth it anymore, I work too hard, life in New York is very expensive already without adding on gambling losses. I took a new job a few months ago, and am really busy with that. So as I quit gambling, my stories aren't that great, and I would rather not keep thinking about the casino, I've decided to just tell the last one although I've always been very hesitant to tell it. I know some might not believe me either, but anyhow its true. I went to a casino in pennsylvania at the end of 2013 with about 200$. I had been self excluded in all the casinos for over 3 years already. When you sign for one in PA, you are automatically excluded from all in the state. Anyhow, I buy into a Pai Gow poker game. At that casino they offer a large jackpot for a 7 card straight flush. If you play Pai Gow at Mohegan Sun in CT or in Vegas/AC, you probably have seen this. On this particular day it was over 200. Thousand. And I'm playing, lose first 3 hands. Im almost broke already and upset how quickly I'm losing my cash. My neighbor sitting to my right says let me play your bonus. I say ok , he drops $2 on it. Not the jackpot bonus- which was $1, but the other one with various payouts- all the way up to 8000-1 for a 7 card SF, 1000-1 for a SF using joker, down to 3 of a kind which pays like 3-1. So of course I look at my cards and have the 7 card SF in diamonds, using joker. If I played the $1, i had over 200k! Everyone else at the table played it, i didn't because know i couldn't claim it if I won. As it was they asked for ID for the $2000 payout on the 1000-1 even though i didn't place the money, it was on my spot. I said i have to get it out my car, and promptly left as self excluded. This is my saddest tale from the degen life, i could have paid off all my school loans, instead am still grinding them down from 100k down to around 50k now since that time working my freaking ass off week in week out. It will always haunt me!

Brief intro: go into poker like most, watching moneymaker luckbox his fatass to a main event championship. In the past 12 years, I must have cumulatively deposited around $150k in increments of a few thousand here or there. I would always play with my entire deposit at a NL table, so I would either bust pretty quick or run it up and play higher. But eventually would bust. It’s not that I am a bad player, I just get addicted to the thrill of playing with the whole roll. Stupid I know. Thank god for Black Friday. Finally stopped playing so much. Lately I find myself with a lot of free time. I had not played poker for about a year, but got my gambling fix by dropping 4k this nfl season.
I got an offer from Borgata through the interwebz, a free room any night I want for the next couple of months. Two weekends ago I decided to use it. I told myself all I would bring was 5k and that’s it. I would play 1k NL so there was no realistic chance of going totally broke on the trip. Sure you can lose 5 buy ins over a weekend, but I play tight aggressive to the point of being nitty, so most of the time I win or lose around a buy in. By the end of the trip I had cash advanced 9k on my credit card, not slept for 48 hours and spent 15 hours playing 25 – 50 PLO. I think some poker tourney series was going on. As I took the bus home, only down 5k playing that huge game, I said no more poker for awhile. Which leads me to last weekend…
I leave for AC Thursday night. Everyone on the bus is always full of excitement on the ride down, the opposite of the ride back. I try to read a book on the way down but always end up falling asleep, dreaming of coming back with $25k after busting some arrogant pros at the table. I wake up as the bus stops, catch a cab and walk into the casino. My room reservations are for Friday and Saturday night, so I can’t check in for like 14 hours. No problem I will just play poker till then. Its amazing how long you can stay away at the table without any help. Add in drugs or caffeine, and pulling 36 hour sessions is no problem at all.
I sit down and wait for a table. Worst thing about live poker, ****ing waiting for a table. I play some 10 20 and 20 40 limit waiting for 10 25 NL. Tread water at both games and finally a 10 25 game opens up. I think it was uncapped but most people have 2 – 5k in front of them. For some reason, I always feel like people are pushing me around after a few hours. It is hard to stay patient and fold when you know you don’t live near a casino and only play once a few months. I bleed off when my AK fights TT on a AT4 flop. Then I move to a nl / plo mix game. Tread water there. Hop to a 5 5 PLO game. No real damage. But at these stakes you can lose a decent amount just by having second best a lot. To be honest I don’t remember what happened, but I somehow find myself in the cash advance line again with like 3k in my pocket. I advance 9k, pay a sick upfront fee of like 350 bucks, and immediately walk to the 25 – 50 PLO game. All the players are pros or regulars. They all know each other. Game revolves around some rich guy. All players are loose aggressive. It is such a bad feeling sitting down and noticing them all look at each other, like here comes the fish. So I sit down with my whole roll around 12k.
PLO can be so frustrating. I see a huge pot get dragged by two pair, and my full house gets crushed by a higher full house, etc. After like ten hours of play I am down a few k. I don’t wanna leave but the game kinda breaks in the wee hours. I play a $500 tournament during Friday, but the whole time my mind is on the PLO game. So I just start shoving my stack. It is only $500 buy in, which is less than a normal raise in the PLO game. Why the **** did I buy into this, and why does no one ever call my open shoves. Eventually I bust. I actually made a flush on my all in, but the other guy made a full house. I hop into the PLO game. Run my set of fives into quad nines and my set of 7’s into a turned gut shot straight. I am down to like 8k. On both those hands I just called down, too scared to raise. Then comes the hand that tilted me enough to leave. I won the hand lol. I had two kings and rags. Flop comes K66, T, J. I am in position. Call the flop bet. Check the turn. Bet pot on river. Some guy tanks for 5 mins and tells me he can beat J6. Tanks some more and folds. Jesus Christ. I am playing so tight and transparent this guy folds pocket jacks I guess. I should have made back all my losses and then some on that hand. I pick up and head for bed.
As I am walking to my room I see the high limit black jack area. I try to walk past, but I just cant. I circle the room like a shark trying to convince myself to go to bed with my remaining cash. But I already knew I wasn’t going to win that battle. I sit down and cash in whatever I had left, like 8k or 9k. I start playing 100 a hand. Then 200. Then 300. A few Chinese guys sit next to me, I start drinking. Have a good time. A few times I spaz out and bet 500 a hand. That can get expensive when you have to split and double down. Chinese guy tells me to bet more when I win, like there is such a thing as a streak. I do stupid **** like split tens, double on 12, stay on 16 when the dealer is showing an 8. Normally that pisses players off, but the Chinese guy is loving it, as it is somehow working out. I also noticed when I would do things like split tens, the dealer would have to notify the pit boss, who would then make notes. I am assuming she wrote down what an idiot I was.
I felt like I was winning more than I was losing, but after like 4 hours I am actually down a few hundred. And for some reason that tilts me.
Its 4am, this fat white lady sits down next to me. She is having a terrible night. Other players and dealers tell me she is down like 80k for the night. I am playing a shoe with her and treading water as usual. As we get to the end of the shoe, I just like lose my mind. I have a little under ten k in front of me. I have a mix of pumpkins, purples and blacks and push them to the bet circle. The dealer thinks I am coloring up. I say no I want to bet it all. She calls over the pit boss, who okays it. Like I need their ****ing permission to bet. They take my money all day and then need to okay a move by me. **** you.
The max bet is 6k, so I put 6k on one hand and about 4k on the other. Persian lady stays on 17. Dealer shows a 2. My blood is pumping, I normally never get excited but somehow my body knows this is a sick display. I have a ten and a 2 on my first hand. Gross. I stay. For my next hand all I remember is I had two little cards. I hit and get like a 9. So I am like a t 15 or something. I stay. The dealer flips up the undercard and it’s a queen. I swear to you, it felt like she pulled the next card in slow motion. It felt like time slowed down. It was a ****ing Queen. Celebrated, tipped the dealer a couple of hundred. Immediately went to bed.
P.S. Instead of going home when I woke up. Played some more short handed PLO for a few hours and dumped off another 2k, but when left was still up like 3k for the weekend. The really sick part is, over the course of the weekend, I must have called about 12k of total river bets in that PLO game that I lost. If I could just fold good, but not great hands. Also writing this kind of tilts me. Why couldn’t I just one damn time have made two black jacks on that big hand. Jk im not that greedy.

Great story Jazzy

nice story jazzy!

splitting tens makes you look like a counter btw and will get you scrutinized by the eye in the sky, but i guess the donkey plays quickly assured them that you werent.

Sick story jazzy just straight sickness

Jazzy confirmed sick degen

Nice story Jazzy.

jazzy with that degen yolo all in just like **** it, love that, feel like that too sometimes

sl4ck3r going in on twitch...

i was watching a bit last night, wonder how much that guy is down

You know it's fake $ right?

How can u tell?

is it really pockets? I actually dunno
wouldn't be surprised either way